Paris Hilton wants a double wedding

Paris Hilton wants to have a double wedding with best friend Nicole Richie. The two would wed their respective hunchback Madden brothers Benji and Joel, according to Page Six:

Hilton, who is not even engaged to Benji, said she wants to do it in order to sell the pictures from the wedding and thinks she could rake in millions, said one pal. “She’s doing it all for attention, as usual,” said the friend. “It’s a publicity stunt, just like everything else.”

I don’t give a rat’s ass if this is a publicity stunt or not. I’m all for it. I mean, Jesus, talk about killing four birds with one stone/rocket launcher. *EEER-FOOSH* Oh my God, who shoots rockets at a wedding? *KABOOM* It must be that guy over there. The one who looks like Rambo crossed with Brad Pitt – and is holding a rocket launcher. *EEER-FOOSH* Why does he keep slathering his chest with shoe polish between shots? No one needs to be that sexy. *KABOOM* Aw, I’m Joel Madden and I’m totally dead.

*sigh* I love weddings.