Paris Hilton recently visited South Africa with her boyfriend Benji Madden and was obsessed with the price of things. She even set her eyes on a certain jungle cat that she wanted to take home. NY Daily News reports:
A hotel spy tells us: “Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?’”
Okay, usually when Paris Hilton does something my knee-jerk reaction is “Wow, what a fucking idiot.” This time, however, I couldn’t be more on board. Paris, get the cheetah. Seriously, anyone that tells you it will kill you is just fat, stupid and trying to steal your man. You should definitely bring one home and let it run around your house. And you know what else would be super hot? Tying a steak around your neck. That bitch Lindsay Lohan would be so jealous she’d pee herself. No fooling. She told me the other day then burnt me with her fire-crotch so you know it’s true. Need a lift to the butcher shop?
justtheobvious | April 8, 2008 at 11:29 am
Where is the bikini shots?
justtheobvious | April 8, 2008 at 11:30 am
I don’t want to see her with so much on!
Mia | April 8, 2008 at 11:31 am
I am no a fan of Paris but she is wearing a cute outfit.
yukadoozer | April 8, 2008 at 11:35 am
Gay.
Crystal | April 8, 2008 at 11:42 am
She’s dumb but most really are jelaous of her and she knows it. I wish I had as much money as her to buy such cute outfits!
nipolian | April 8, 2008 at 11:44 am
Paris looks OK in these pics (mostly because she is not slobbering on that Douchebag she is currently sharing her gonorrhea with) but she would look so much better if she had the point shaved off her beak and perhaps a couple of stints to permanently open up that wonk eye….. or she would look better if she took another face dive into the concrete like she did last week……That was some seriously funny shit.
LeBetch | April 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
her feet look amazingly big on the 3rd pic. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Raging Beast of Anger | April 8, 2008 at 11:51 am
We shouldn’t take any chances. We should buy the cheetah for her, and surprise her by leaving it in her bedroom. You know, on some night when she’s really tied one on. I really hope it won’t run away from her. Did I mention the Cheetah needs to be damn near starved.
Grobpilot | April 8, 2008 at 11:52 am
Maybe she’ll carry that son-of-a-bitch around on her shoulder like that little kinkajou. She’ll reach up to pet it and it will snap her fucking head off. Then the animal should be awarded the Medal of Honor for defeating the enemy and laying down it own life due to a slow death from every infection it picked up by chomping on her.
Danni | April 8, 2008 at 11:53 am
Oh no, that is NOT cute. Who wears tights with open toe shoes? Even Paris should have the brain capacity to know better then that.
Jess | April 8, 2008 at 11:56 am
If the weather is cold then wearing tights with peep toes works for me! It is near impossible to find cute closed toe shoes.
Hatey McWrathenstein | April 8, 2008 at 11:57 am
And what fucking plebian loser only buys ONE cheetah… all the high rollers have 2, 3, 8, emaciated, ravenously starving, er… I mean, wealth-affirmingly excited cheetahs!
Buy on, female chum!
Josh | April 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm
I hope she buys one and it tears her face off.
Dame Cooked | April 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Paris should invite Spencer & Heidi over to meet her new pet. They could give eachother ground beef facials.
Spencer goes first!
Auntie Kryst | April 8, 2008 at 12:08 pm
If Veruca Salt wants a cheetah, Veruca Salt gets a cheetah.
Ted from LA | April 8, 2008 at 12:09 pm
I wonder if this is how slavery got started. How much is that?
Harry Ballzack | April 8, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Yeah like this skanky slut needs a bigger pussy
HuckyDucky | April 8, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I love this whore.
Vince Lombardi | April 8, 2008 at 12:21 pm
First two thoughts when I read the headline:
1) Maybe she can buy it from Michael Jackson’s personal zoo and help him out financially — that would be a nice humanitarian gesture such as she spoke of in jail; and
2) Upon receiving the beast, it will eat her. Then the world will know a measure of peace.
BunnyButt | April 8, 2008 at 12:48 pm
You know the old saying: “If you have to ask how much it is, you can’t afford it.” Paris must be having financial problems.
Binky | April 8, 2008 at 12:49 pm
The cheetah would work with a cat-nip woven dress Paris.
And maybe that purse you have in the pic.
caljenna66 | April 8, 2008 at 12:50 pm
@ 10 – I’m with ya, Danni, those shoes look horrible.
@ 16 and 17 – ROFL!!!
gotmilk? | April 8, 2008 at 12:56 pm
so she wants a damn cheetah, but where are her precious little rats (dogs) as she tours the globe with that boyfriend of hers? this bitch has no clue as to what responsibility is.
hollywood_hillbilly | April 8, 2008 at 1:19 pm
I don’t know if a cheetah would be up to the job. The job being the mauling and ( hopefully while she is still alive) eating of this vile beast. Maybe some clear eyed visionary in africa could switch the cheetah with a leopard or lion or even a pack of hyenas.
Also, I don’t think she needs to hang any beef around her neck, the rotting beef sandwich between her legs should work just fine.
mamadough | April 8, 2008 at 1:21 pm
come on people, we should be supporting this. here are some other animals we need to give her immediately:
*blue ringed octopus
*black mamba
*eastern diamondback rattlesnake
*platypus
*komodo dragon
*poison dart frog
let me know if you think of anything else….
grobpilot | April 8, 2008 at 1:29 pm
How about 5,000 Botflies? They’d eat her from the inside out.
hyper69 | April 8, 2008 at 1:30 pm
She looks 45 years old in these pics with that hairstyle. Next up- Paris in MOM Jeans.
juli | April 8, 2008 at 1:34 pm
and you know what else would be super hot, if she put a scorpion down her pants, like hillary, or several. thats so sexy
yomomma | April 8, 2008 at 1:40 pm
since when does penis hurts care about prices? “if you have to ask, you can’t afford it.” oh no, paris is broke!
missywissy | April 8, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Three people I wish would go away:
1. George Bush
2. Bill O’Reily
3. Paris Hilton
Why is she famous????????????? She lies when it suits her, she’s ignorant, a user, a racist, an opportunist… Shouldn’t people like this be put to shame instead of hailed as somebody to look up to?
mollymuff | April 8, 2008 at 2:15 pm
She looks like Meryl Streep…and by Meryl streep I mean old.
“Wow Paris! You look great for a 50 year old!”
Jaffo | April 8, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Dear Jeebus,
I try not to ask for much, but I feel like this is maybe THE BIG ONE. Could you please find it in your heart to allow Paris to get the cheetah? And then could you please have the cheetah eat part of her face, but NOT kill her? And then could you please have the cheetah force himself on her and then maybe the cheetah could defecate on her when he was done or just urinate on her if his bowels were already empty? I don’t want to ask for too much, so if you could just have the cheetah eat part of her face, that would be fantastic. The scat and urine would be fantastic, but I can live with one or the other if you are busy or neither if you are really busy, but if there is any way possible, I would really like the ‘Paris gets a cheetah and it eats her face off’ thing to happen.
Thanks,
All of Humanity
P.S. Also if the cheetah could space dock her after having his way with her, that would be nice. Thanks, love ya!
cavy | April 8, 2008 at 3:02 pm
I watched an E show about her and it said that she’s such an animal lover and that she wanted to become a veterinarian when she was little. Then why in the blue hell does she go through animals like handbags? And she even has been photographed buying dogs from pet shops (AKA Puppy mills!) which has got to be the most disgusting thing ever. Yeah…animal lover…my ass!
Grunion | April 8, 2008 at 3:07 pm
And I want a toilet made of solid gold but it’s just not in the cards now is it?
brb | April 8, 2008 at 3:28 pm
She was hot when she was younger but the older she gets the uglier and older she looks. I LOVE that she’s not aging gracefully in the slightest and she’s looking more and more like her old bat mom and meryl streep. I’ve never seen a “classy” whore before because its a contradiction, either your classy, or your a whore. But a classy whore? It just doesn’t work. That ding-bat needs to ask herself is she a fuckin restaurant or a grocery store but you cant have both!
total_pimp | April 8, 2008 at 5:23 pm
wats with the fugly haircut?
looks better on POSH
aleale | April 8, 2008 at 5:30 pm
if she looks this plastic now, how the hell is she gonna look when she’s forty? i mean, i always thought people with money are able to fix the flaws of nature. perhaps she tried to fix too much.
Rebecca | April 8, 2008 at 6:04 pm
Sth in her face reminds me of George Hamilton…
el ces | April 8, 2008 at 6:26 pm
Yay Cheetah!
woodhorse | April 8, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Is she still going to prance around as if nothing’s wrong after that left eye wonks completely shut? Or will she design eye patches?
BoboTed | April 8, 2008 at 7:50 pm
You go right ahead and buy that Cheetah, Paris. While you’re at it, I have a powdery white substance I want to sell you. It does wonders for the skin.
total_pimp | April 8, 2008 at 8:10 pm
maybe the cheetah she buys will be trained to kill all sluts within a 20 feet range
Eddie | April 8, 2008 at 8:12 pm
LOL, love your take on things.
MJ | April 9, 2008 at 6:59 am
Wow she’s getting uglier by the day.
fygu | April 9, 2008 at 11:37 am
Dear Paris,
Instead of buying a cheetah, please buy yourself an ass.
Thanksbye
ToTellTheTruth | April 9, 2008 at 12:29 pm
What a dumb fucking bitch she is..
Dan Montana | April 9, 2008 at 4:49 pm
ooks like mini mouse with those shoes
Tree | April 10, 2008 at 7:45 am
She has my whole-hearted support.She is so pretty and sexy.I saw her many times in millonaire dating site”W e a l t h y L o v i n g . c o m”.I am wondering whether she searching her new love in this site?Dose she really has a new baby?