Paris Hilton turns to Buddha

May 25th, 2007 // 76 Comments
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Because the power of Jesus might not be enough to save her, Paris Hilton was spotted at the Buddhist bookstore, Bodhi Tree, in Hollywood. Her lawyers have apparently told her to “live like a nun” if she has any chance of evading jail so she’s taken this to mean getting photographed with as many religious books as possible. She’s also allegedly told friends she’s quitting alcohol and partying and has even replaced her skimpy outfits with a new “demure” look.

Why not go all the way and just put on a fake beard and white robe? Carrying around religious books is pretty good, but nothing beats actually turning into God.

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  1. Jacks0

    First again!

  2. MissT

    hahah yeah RIGHT

  3. Flavio

    hahahHHAHHA… im the first again… iwanna fuck so hard this nasty whore… she looks like a fucking whore… suck my dick whore.

  4. Princess

    man this bitch’s feet are HUGE. what a shrek

  5. Adri

    OMG. That’s dissgusting!!!! Look at her legs! And now her legs. And now her face. That’s just NOT RIGHT!

  6. What an conniving, manipulative, herpes-infested skank. She’ll do anything to try to stay out of jail or show people she’s not the awful, spoiled bitch we all know her to be. I HATE THE HILTONS! Why did Rick and Kathy have to spawn???

  7. Britney

    Golly ya’ll, I wish I looked like her.

  8. Leanne

    She reminds me of Chrissy on Three’s Company. Not Suzanne Somers, mind you, but Chrissy. Totally oblivious.

  9. MissPMS

    You can’t even call this ugly twat a butterface. Because its all nasty and diseased. More like a “butterperson” or “butterlife”

  10. djthecat

    Well, I think she looks better than I have ever seen her. Much improved! Except her feet… They are like the crypt keeper’s feet.

  11. She looks good doing it though.

  12. Guy

    Did she actually buy anything? Apart from some brightly colored, things… In picture 6

    Guess the bright colors attracted her

    But she does look better I think, save the whole shiny leg thing.

  13. Guy

    Actually are they candles? No way should she be allowed them, total fire risk.

  14. getyourhandoutofmycat

    meh what a dumb cunt…

  15. johnnycake

    At least her extensions aren’t ratty like Britney’s.

    No last name required, y’all know exactly what bitch I’m talking about when I say a sentence that includes “Britney” and “ratty extensions”…

  16. 1MILFhunter

    This huar is doing anything she can to stay out of the klink. She’s not looking forward to repeated fistings by 200 lb+ bull dykes.

  17. The Mearl

    i can see the puss running down her leg

  18. WowJustWow

    Maybe she’ll do us all a favor and convert to Islam and wear a burka for the rest of her life.

    I’m picturing a 9 foot blue burka in platforms with a phone stuck to it’s ear.

  19. Chauncey Gardner

    What if she became a militant Muslim in jail?

    Reporter: “Ms. Hilton! Ms. Hilton! Do you have any comment on your release from prison?”

    Paris: “‘Hilton?’ That’s my slave name. I am Paris X.”

    Reporter: “What will you do, now that–?”

    Paris: “Is that a new Fendi purse? That’s hot.”

  20. Time to turn to Islam…..like so many inmates before.

  21. WowJustWow

    19 LOL!
    Then she’ll release one of those ‘martyr’ videos on the web and go on Islamic jihad against Lohan.

    ULULULULULULULULULUL!
    /Fires AK4 in the air!

  22. WowJustWow

    meant to type “Ak47″

    doh!

  23. reptilicus

    She has some fucked up, nasty looking knees.

  24. sock monkey

    She looks utterly lost in a bookstore.

    In pic 5, she looks like she’s headed for death row.

  25. reptilicus

    I hope she ends up like this guy. It would be a fitting end.

    http://video.redhorsevector.net/redhorse_24_9_1.mov

  26. ctti

    Did she bathe herself in lard before coming out? she looks positively greasy. Also, her feet are bloody freaky.

    And #19: HAHAHA! Nice one.

    That ho & her confused sprituality. Seriously. She might wanna talk to Tom Cruise about Scientology next. I know hanging with the Cruises isn’t exactly good for your social standing (in fact, it might as well be social suicide) but hey, there’s nothing she can do to further damage her image, anyway.

    And no, she can’t turn into God. No one would believe it. And then, she’d just get struck by lightning. Which means, we get to celebrate. YIPPEE!

  27. lambman

    so now we have boring stories on how Paris is being more boring than usual, lame.

    Also, the courts tend not to just lift a sentence because you behave before going to jail…she’s got the smartestest lawyers

  28. frenchie

    Does it take longer than 23 days for roots to start showing?

  29. mia

    What the fuck is wrong with her legs? They’re brown. And shiny. And you are right Princess, her feet are huge.

  30. DancingQueen

    I guess her idea of “demure” is trying to show her fire crotch? Dumb bitch.

  31. iamsosmart

    HAHAHAHA!

    Look how out of place she looks it is so frigging obvious her publicist made her go there. She looks all awkward and uncomfortable and she’s trying so hard to look interested, boy this girl deserves an Oscar her acting abilities are astounding. She really committed to the Buddhist enthusiast role and clearly dressed the part.

    You can tell the only thoughts in her little pee brain area “ewww… books are not hot” and “like doesn’t Prada make any books”

    Anyone who knows anything about Buddhism would agree that Paris Hilton is the EXACT OPPOSITE of everything that religion stands for.

  32. iamsosmart

    #4. Her feet are a size 11 and they are almost as ugly as her face.

    Designers have to custom make boats, I mean shoes, for beastly man feet and aparently she’s incredibly self concious about it. So if you see her walking down the street before you run home and shower 15 times to get all the airborn STD’s off your skin be sure to yell out “Hey big foot where did you get those canoes?” or “Nice hooves sasquatch!” It will hurt the little whore’s feelings and what could be more fun than that.

  33. iamsosmart

    *for her beastly man feet

  34. jenster

    her and shitney have the worse feet ever.
    anyhoo,
    HAHAHAHAHAHA
    dumb cunt, nice try, you’re strill going to the pokey!

  35. wedgeone

    #31 – Actually, Paris Hilton IS what religion stands for. Because “religion” comes from hell. Those who are into clean living and serving God are “spiritual”.
    Not zen spiritual, or weed spiritual, but Word of God spiritual.

    #25 – WTH was that all about? I couldn’t understand anything except that some dude in a suit got all bloody and died.

  36. I can’t wait to see the binge she goes on after this whole scam doesn’t work out. Those pictures will be much more interesting.

  37. iamsosmart

    #16. LOL LOL LOL! That was wonderful, you are hilarious.

    Happy MILF hunting!

  38. valaki

    colour of her legs!!!!!!!!!!!! pretty disgusting!

  39. iamsosmart

    #35. Hmmmmm. You may have something there. Paris and Religion are both pure evil and both trying to sell themselves to us and only the truely stupid who are incapable of thinking for themselves fall for it. Okay I agree.

    I just meant in terms of giving up all your worldly possessions I can’t imagine this handbag addicted hag being able to fit in, plus I don’t think she can read.
    The only words she knows are “Herpes Cream” but the stupid mentally challenged twat who couldn’t read the directions went and put it all over her legs which is why they are so shiny.

    My only question when I see this walking disease is “HOW IN THE FUCK WAS SHE THE FASTEST SPERM IN DADDY’S SPOOGE LOT?”

  40. 21st century digital boy

    Ummm… I’m not sure she’s caught on to the whole at nun thing quite yet. Call me crazy, but I don’t think that’s a nun regulation length skirt.

  41. adeliza

    I love her recently adopted “pout”. Her little, I’m so serious and pensive, and demure; the please feel sorry for me look.

  42. #22 – One problem, she is too fucking stupid to spell ‘AK47′.

  43. In photo #6 you can see a large drop of man-goo on the side of her mouth. She must have misinterpreted the whole “rubbing buddah on the belly” thing. I hope Buddha taped it.

  44. Kiwi

    But your honor.. did you notice that I haven’t smiled even ONCE since the sentence?

  45. naomi

    If by demure you mean three inches lower than her crotch then yea, I guess she is dressing more demure now.

  46. star69

    This is sad. Really really sad.
    I used to love to go to the Bodhi Tree. Almost all of my books are from there. It’s one of those hidden little peaceful places in LA, where you can drink herbal tea (offered by the store) and chit chat with fellow spiritual people while buying/browsing through hundreds of enlightening books.
    But now it’s all over.
    It’s like someone came in and dumped gallons of smelly raw sewage in the middle of the store.
    I bet it will smell like raw sewage, infected herpes sores and used condoms forever now.
    “Fake and Nasty” has ruined yet another good place for me.
    Now all her other friends like Lohan, Olsen twins, Britney will come to that store too.
    :(
    :(
    :(
    I can’t describe the sadness I’m feeling.
    **sigh**

  47. wedgeone

    and Valtrex … Don’t forget the Valtrex.

  48. Irvin

    Her legs shines like my waxed fruit display on my kitchen table.

  49. raggatt

    She looks absolutely miserable in every picture!!! Who cares if she’s faking it for the courts? I love it! I love pictures of Paris looking seriously, totally, unhappily, miserable! Yippeee!

  50. leelee

    I love how nobody else in the Bodhi Tree (except for the person taking the pictures) cares at all that she’s there.

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