Paris Hilton prepares for prison, rape

June 1st, 2007 // 103 Comments
paris_hilton_holding_script_00.jpg

Paris Hilton has ordered a hair and makeup team to meet her at her home 9 AM Monday so she can get done up and look her best for the media when she walks into prison. A friend tells Rush & Molloy:

“The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies. Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she’s going to do the same out of going to prison. It’s not just about marketing, it’s about making money. If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater … Paris doesn’t do contrite very well. She will be glam, and Paris is the queen of the prop. Expect her hair pulled back in a ponytail, big sunglasses and maybe a Holy Bible under one arm. And she just got a new kitten, so maybe she’ll hand that to her sister [Nicky] as she gets out of the car. There might even be tears.”

Paris has also decided to write a prison diary during her 23-day sentence, in hopes of publishing it upon release.

“Paris’ prison diary will make a more dramatic read than Martha Stewart’s. If she can make it believable, and not exaggerate too much, she might expect to make a million dollars out of it.”

You know, maybe getting all done up before entering a prison filled with lonely inmates might not be the best idea. After the mustached creatures they’re used to seeing, Paris is going to look like a lobster stuffed with filet mignon. And I don’t know if she’ll be able to find a publisher for her diary. There’s not a very large market these days for books filled with 23 pages of frowny faces.

superficial

  1. Tell me how you can’t feel sorry for this sad face?…

    http://parishilton.snagapic.com

Leave A Comment