In a story I’m pretty sure is made up, Paris Hilton was forced to drive from Las Vegas to Los Angeles when airline officials told her she couldn’t bring her six pets onto the plane. She says:
“I bought, like, a monkey, a tiger and some ferrets. I tried to bring them on a commercial flight and they wouldn’t let me fly with all the animals. They said it wasn’t a travelling circus. So I had to drive all the way home from Vegas in the limo with all these animals, there was like six. It was a lot.”
The story is believable up until her quote. I know Paris is stupid, but she’s not so ridiculously stupid that she’s turned into a caricature of herself. This is like the script for an SNL skit that was mistakenly turned into a fake press release. And nobody says “commercial flight.” They just say “flight.” What other kinds of flights are there? And who are the people that are talking about them?
EDIT: Fine, there are private flights. That still doesn’t explain how Paris Hilton could possibly own a tiger and expect to bring it onto a plane. Unless the scientists have finally done it and replaced her brain with a toaster oven.
*EDIT: Mother of God, the story is true. Reader Christine confirms the quote is from a BBC Radio 1 interview with Scott Mills. So every terirble thing you’ve ever thought about Paris Hilton think it again. Think it again real hard.
HollyJ | June 29, 2006 at 4:22 pm
First?
HollyJ | June 29, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Second too?
HollyJ | June 29, 2006 at 4:24 pm
Private flights on personal jets, and LOTS of wealthy folks take them. Not too unusual for someone who’s grown up grotesquely wealthy to have to specify. HER default ‘plane’ would be personal jet, I’d think.
HollyJ | June 29, 2006 at 4:26 pm
FOURTH TOO?? Has the apocolypse come and gone? I’ve been left behind??? Oh, shit. No..wait…Super posters would be left behind too…fer sure
Italian Stallion | June 29, 2006 at 4:26 pm
So now she’s got some dogs, a ferret, a monkey, a tiger, and enough crabs to supply the east coast……………
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | June 29, 2006 at 4:28 pm
We are still talking about this worn out hole? I thought you had to do something besides suck a bunch of famous cocks to be considered a celebrity. You know like act or something. God! I wish this bitch would just hurry up and OD or dirve off a cliff!
jrzmommy | June 29, 2006 at 4:28 pm
I think the story is a bunch of shit.
Chicagoboy | June 29, 2006 at 4:28 pm
I am so happy to be leaving on vacation for a week that even Paris’s inept stupidity can’t bring me down!
Sheva | June 29, 2006 at 4:35 pm
If they could just pass the law that’s it’s legal to kill on sight people wearing 5 pound eyeglasses, the world would be a better place.
dr. kenneth noisewater | June 29, 2006 at 4:38 pm
In Paris Hilton’s world the number 6 is a lot…it’s the most number of hours she’s ever gone without stuffing a penis down her throat.
pinky_nip | June 29, 2006 at 4:39 pm
chicagoboy: make sure you leave your pets at the kennel.
MeganHarris | June 29, 2006 at 4:39 pm
She is a caricature of Herself.
And she’s so great. I really am starting to like her. Who buys a Tiger in Vegas?
jon | June 29, 2006 at 4:40 pm
Impressive triceps in photo 4. Perhaps she needed all the animals to bench.
Glam-fuck-retard.
I’d still sex it though.
cruzin333 | June 29, 2006 at 4:41 pm
I guess since she can’t sing or act she results to stupidity to keep her name in the news…
first the un-funny hotel joke, now a traveling circus? Come on. Next superfish victim, PLEASE!
mcgirleygirl | June 29, 2006 at 4:43 pm
Off the subject completely, I cannot get into any comments (other than this one). I am being redirected back to the home page when I click the “comments” area. Someone help me.
P.S.
TCLTC
jrzmommy | June 29, 2006 at 4:45 pm
did meganharris really just say that out loud?
stl4l | June 29, 2006 at 4:46 pm
Why in the hell did the SUPERFISH post this?
NEXT
gammanormids | June 29, 2006 at 4:47 pm
IF this had happened to someone else, I wouldn’t believe. But if anyone ever tells me Paris Hilton in marrying a monkey, I’d believe it.
“I am so happy to be leaving on vacation for a week”
I wish I could geto soma vacations! Have fun!
SpecialAgentWind | June 29, 2006 at 4:47 pm
#3 – Those are some good eats. Well except for the sores.
SpecialAgentWind | June 29, 2006 at 4:48 pm
ugh I meant #5 – Good eats. Stupid HollyJ posts.
In your face | June 29, 2006 at 4:54 pm
wTF/?
Walnuts | June 29, 2006 at 4:55 pm
HOLLYJ you’re a twat and now the queen of the fucktard club.
jFp | June 29, 2006 at 4:57 pm
Princess Di use to have a friend call in a tip to the paparazzi to let them know where she was going to be. This trick always got her photo in the press. It made her feel popular…and I guess it works pretty well for the bottom of the barrel scanks like Hilton too.
Fugurself | June 29, 2006 at 4:57 pm
A conversation between Paris and Daddy Hilton:
Paris: “Daddy, what is this I keep hearing about so many older men having a reptile dysfunction?
I didn’t even realize reptiles were so popular among older men. Thank God for Viagra, huh?
I hear that stuff will cure a reptile dysfunction really fast.
By the way, what reptiles are they talking about, lizards or snakes?”
Daddy: Paris, they are not talking about reptiles. They are talking about the dicks and nuts
you have been infecting with herpes and shit.
Nikk The Templar | June 29, 2006 at 5:00 pm
I see Paris has finally resorted to Bestiality.
HughJorganthethird | June 29, 2006 at 5:08 pm
there has got to be something better to post than this shit. who fucking cares. the Paris buzz has worn off already. find someone new to roast for fucks sake. everything that could ever be said about this afterbirth has already been said. Did K-Fid shit himself today? i’ll never know because of reatrarded Paris posts.
Fugurself | June 29, 2006 at 5:09 pm
Do all these guys who have spent some time in Paris de-louse themselves after each encounter?
Precisely | June 29, 2006 at 5:14 pm
A tiger in a limo?
Okay…
bigponie | June 29, 2006 at 5:15 pm
Paris once told her daddy “I’ll make you so proud of me daddy, just wait and see”
daddy still waiting bitch…
Holly | June 29, 2006 at 5:18 pm
I think paris can’t go a day without some mention in the media so she makes stuff up.
Why is she pulling on her shirt like that? And why is she dressed like that?
MeganHarris | June 29, 2006 at 5:19 pm
One day, you guys will get sick of hating on Paris Hilton, and join her.
She’s pretty, talented, and rich. Whats not to like?
jane's eyre | June 29, 2006 at 5:20 pm
#15
Mine was doing that earlier (but with the Star post, so way worse). The server at my work and this site never have liked each other very much–the page has trouble loading, stays blank, etc. But the last couple days has been ridiculous. It must be the site.
MeganHarris | June 29, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Oh, and she’s funny too. Yes, she’s funny. Ever see her SNL appearance?
Holly | June 29, 2006 at 5:20 pm
I think she is taking fashion tips from sienna miller and ashley olsen.
jane's eyre | June 29, 2006 at 5:22 pm
Too bad the tiger didn’t eat her.
31
And I will also be elected as the next president.
pop | June 29, 2006 at 5:23 pm
i think ‘paris hilton has sex with her 6 pets’ would be a more believable story…and by story i mean ‘erotic novel’…
http://www.popculturepundit.blogspot.com/
bigponie | June 29, 2006 at 5:26 pm
MeganHarris asked me where it can get those free nachos, and I told her “for cryin’ out loud, you monkey droppings, Nacho Libre is a fuckin movie”
Chicagoboy | June 29, 2006 at 5:27 pm
#12 Pinky, the only pet I have is my trouser snake and I don’t go anywhere with out him.
LoneWolf | June 29, 2006 at 5:32 pm
In the immortal word of Penn Jellette:
Bullshit!
kandyk0119 | June 29, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Looks like she got in a fight or some S&M, her arms got bruises and what looks like teeth marks!
kandyk0119 | June 29, 2006 at 5:34 pm
Maybe it was the six animals all attacked her in the Limo
jane's eyre | June 29, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Paris, I have a burning question for you:
What you gon’ do with all that spunk?
All that spunk inside your trunk?
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 29, 2006 at 5:37 pm
MeganHarris wants to eat Paris Hilton’s ass. That’s hot.
No, wait. Actually, it’s not hot at all.
Jedi Kevin | June 29, 2006 at 5:42 pm
Dont’ we already have too many Paris Hilton stories without having to add made up ones?
STOP!!
sweetcheeks | June 29, 2006 at 5:45 pm
I THOUGHT Paris Hilton smelled like tiger urine. But then I thought, “how can that be, if she doesn’t like the circus?” So I reasoned that perhaps the smell of “spunk-gone-sour” was similar to the scent of “tiger piss.” Now that I see she actually HAS a tiger, it all makes sense, and I can stop pissing on the hood of her car.
guest1234567 | June 29, 2006 at 6:06 pm
The worst part is that two of the pictures are people who have stopped to take pictures of the back of her head with their cell phones. Jesus, people, get a life.
bella420 | June 29, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Woah, is it just me or is Paris getting really edgy?
First it was that in-your-face prank on the Hilton, and now this…
She’s all, like, crazy and stuff. It’s like, what will she do next?
I’m on the edge of my seat, Ms Hilton, THE EDGE OF MY SEAT!
TrannyGranny | June 29, 2006 at 6:29 pm
Actually that was just a bad bit of reporting, Fish guy. The real story went as follows:
Paris was being driven by 6 monkeys in the back of her limo. “It was just like that time I fucked the entire Barnum and Bailey Freak Show, but it wasn’t enough.” Paris was heard to exclaim. “I need something to make me feel like my pussy got chewed on by a tiger”. A blind zoo-keeper and a Honduran Salsa Magnate stepped forward and began jamming rabid ferrets up her coochy, covered in habenero sauce. She was last seen on a commercial flight, leaving Vegas for Area 51 under heavily armed guards in Hazmat suits. Apparently, having various pets disapear into her sloppy fuck-hole garnered the attention of Uncle Sam. Especially when the only trace left was Paris burping a bit of fur moments later and saying “That’s hot!”
Now that will make the terrorists talk.
CRiMiNAllYElEGANt | June 29, 2006 at 6:51 pm
……………..
………………
…….>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
the world is c0ming t0 an end!
bunnyhugger | June 29, 2006 at 7:13 pm
LIONS AND TIGERS AND HERPES, OH MY!!
i’d believe almost anything from this twat.
oh, and 15 & 22, and i haven’t had any posting problems.
maybe your server was down???