Paris Hilton sucking at Sundance

January 25th, 2006 // 95 Comments
paris-hilton-sucks2.jpg
superficial

  1. Dear god quit doing stories about her. Shes a waste of space and air, we know this. Not to mention she’s busted ugly. I wouldnt let a dick anywhere near that face. I swear, she must have been hit in the face with a football one to many times.

  2. Lynette Carrington

    I’m sure that when Paris was little, she rode the “short bus” to school.

  3. Realistic

    I am starting to get the feeling that Paris might be a little morally casual.

  4. HeeHaw

    Well I’m starting to get the feeling that Paris might be a little brain damaged.

    Something isn’t quite right with that girl.

    Can she go away now???

  5. MandySmurf

    When Paris Hilton stole her own porn video from a local newsstand, she made the excuse that she didn’t want her preteen fanbase to see her in the video. What the hell is the difference? She’s sucking a lollypop simulating oral sex… she dresses like a cheap whore… she incoherently slurs dumbass phrases in hopes to get attention. I won’t be suprised if I see 10 year old children running around in miniskirts indecently sucking lollypops. Oh wait, that already happens. Silly me.

  6. gigi33

    How many more times are we going to have to see her being stupid? someone should literaly gag her with the lolipop. Her mom & dad must be so proud.

  7. horrendous

    she sucks…

  8. Captain_Pugwash

    This girl must have haggis for brains.

  9. SMF121490

    What is that, shit on a stick? I HATE THIS GIRL!!! She is not educated or intelligent, she is not sexy, and she is not worthy of any of the recognition everyone is giving her. She is a waste of human space and flesh. All she knows how to do is spend her daddy’s money.

  10. Solaera

    I must say that is a weird outfit she has on. It looks like some of the odd-ball clothing items my grandma used to buy me at K-Mart when I was about seven. She is just so UN-sexy. Bleah.

  11. playahater101

    These pics are for the few people who didn’t know Paris was a whore. Now she has made it clear to everyone she likes the dick. Just goes to show she can do about any stupid thing and people will still worship her. And give her all sorts of free stuff she doesn’t need.

    Is she ever going to disappear?

  12. playahater101

    Posted by gigi33 on January 25, 2006 12:56 PM

    “Her mom & dad must be so proud.”

    Her parents aren’t exactly class acts themselves. Her mom probably took the picture!!

  13. CheekyChops

    Posted by Captain_Pugwash on January 25, 2006 01:12 PM

    This girl must have haggis for brains.

    Hey, quit putting haggis down! Even minced up animal organs and innards aren’t that stupid… and desperate. Thanks!

  14. mrs.t

    #11-who worships Paris? I need names and numbers immediately.

    That is a total abortion of an outfit.

  15. myspoonistoobig

    I think her shirt’s pretty hilarious. It’s no doubt a not-so-subtle dig at Playboy which she recently turned down. As for the above comment about how proud her parents must be… well… have you seen the pictures of her mom partying that this site posted a couple weeks ago?

  16. boo

    has anyone else noticed that there are chocolate lolipop drips on her shirt in the second pic?

  17. TorontoBaby

    The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, folks

  18. rachel

    The shirt is not a subtle dig at playboy. It’s to let all the boys at the Sundance Festival know that she’s a whore and fucks everyone & everything like rabbits do…just in case they didn’t already know that.

  19. Mary45

    She does this shit on purpose now so we all can talk about her. This IS her only publicity you know.

  20. rachel

    LOL! She did drip some on her ugly Wal-mart clearance sale rack t-shirt! What a freaking slob!

  21. aliomali

    Paris’ lollipop sees more action than her brain cells…oh well, Atari pong saw more action than her brain cells…

  22. Mugato

    What the hell is she doing at Sundance? Is she showing House of Wax 2?

  23. Can a lollipop get Crabs?

  24. piercedink

    What? Is she so BUSY, so incredibly crushed for TIME that she can’t keep up her manicure? That’s not only tacky as hell, but shows how completely lazy and nasty she is. I guess she thinks no-one will notice things like food stains and peeling polish what with all the SEXY and all.

  25. ESQ

    The outfit just screams 50% OFF AT WAL-MART AFTER CHRISTMAS SALE! Pee-Pee Hilton is like school in the summer, no class. I just want to take that stick of whatever the hell it is she is eating and jam it directly in her fucked-up eye! Doesn’t she have a cab to pee in while listening to her buddy K-tard’s new single “Pop-A-Zit”?

  26. LOOKWHATICANDO

    I hate this retard, more and more with each passing day,,, Paris, Please, Go to Hell already, why wait, We all know you are going anyway, lets just pray it’s in a gasoline, bikini.

  27. LOOKWHATICANDO

    Her parents aren’t exactly class acts themselves. Her mom probably took the picture!!

    Playahata, Her mothers first mistake was when she swallowed, she should have spat her out immediatly

  28. LOOKWHATICANDO

    #23

    Haaaaaaaaaa Haaaaaa Tee he he, “getting up off the floor”. Poor lollipop

  29. KarenOttaino(954)725-4346

    OMG, that’s a chocolate covered marshmallow…I didn’t think the girl ate!

  30. hafaball

    There;s a fine line between whore and celebrity, and paris makes up for it. And not just penis, try cucumber, banana, light post, piece of wood, your grand father, remote control, scotch tape….

  31. amma

    Does Paris actually have a dad? Where is he?
    She is a great example of what happens when a person has no drive, no sense of self and not a lot of brains. She is like a repository for the worst of our cultural flotsam.
    I mean, this is a girl, with whose family and connections and money, could be finishing her Ph.D right now, and making something of her life. She could still be pretty and shop and party and stuff…But, she’s got nothing. What is her excuse for not going to Harvard or the Sorbonne?
    Its like her sole ambition in life is to look and act like a {bad} pornstar. This is why I don’t like her. There is just no excuse. Even really stupid people can sometimes be very good people…but she doesn’t even have that.
    Gross.

  32. smirkingrevenge

    I’d hit that…with a freakin’ baseball bat. Sheesh what a goddamn whore.

  33. patchuga

    Just looking at that photo, I now feel like I should call my doctor for a Rx for herpes. Eew.

  34. I have no real reason to hate her,so with that said..paris you can suck my dick anytime.

  35. Average

    Posted by Lynette Carrington
    “I’m sure that when Paris was little, she rode the “short bus” to school.”

    I’m thinkin’ she didnt even go to school.

    Then again, she has made her own fortune. ;)

  36. SMF121490

    #18 You give Paris way too much credit for brains to think of something like that.

  37. Kelly

    Well she made her own fortune by being a whore. If she was not rich to beging with no one would care about her, she would not have gotten exposure. I mean if it wasn’t for the sex video she would not have become famous. Hate to say it but she is a creation of Americana. The rich are supposed to be better educated and overall great people. Well this bitty hasn’t done shit but fuck people over to get places.

    The only thing that can class up this picture would be her pissing on the candy ans she sucking it like she sucks.

  38. bigfatmomma

    what’s with the bicycle chain around her neck?

  39. I’m surprised that she’s only sucking on just one lollipop. I would imagine that she’s accustomed to having several surrounding her – ideally in a circle. While she

  40. I like busting on Paris as much as the next person… but you people with your “whore” comments are just being silly… I mean, she doesn’t have sex in public (even though she dresses for it), she was taped having sex with ONE guy, and she’s had what… 4 or 5 or even 10 boyfriends… crikey, if she’s a whore I don’t know WHAT you’d call ME!!!

    She dresses like a high-priced hooker, and she’s been known to flash a nipple or two or three or four… but seriously… let’s have fun with what she IS (a no-talent bimbo socialite) not for what she ISN’T.

    Dang. I just defended Paris Hilton. I am going straight to hell. Again.

  41. I like busting on Paris as much as the next person… but you people with your “whore” comments are just being silly… I mean, she doesn’t have sex in public (even though she dresses for it), she was taped having sex with ONE guy, and she’s had what… 4 or 5 or even 10 boyfriends… crikey, if she’s a whore I don’t know WHAT you’d call ME!!!

    She dresses like a high-priced hooker, and she’s been known to flash a nipple or two or three or four… but seriously… let’s have fun with what she IS (a no-talent bimbo socialite) not for what she ISN’T.

    Dang. I just defended Paris Hilton. I am going straight to hell. Again.

  42. Mary45

    #31 Amma – I agree with your sentiments but you need dedication and at least half a brain to get a PHD, not to mention an undergraduate degree. She didn’t even finish high school and probably had someone take the GED for her. The only thing that makes her more worthwhile that a steaming pile is that she actually sucks cock!!(I almost wrote “coke”, but I am sure she does that too).

  43. fblau

    I like busting on Paris as much as the next person… but you people with your “whore” comments are just being silly… I mean, she doesn’t have sex in public (even though she dresses for it), she was taped having sex with ONE guy, and she’s had what… 4 or 5 or even 10 boyfriends… crikey, if she’s a whore I don’t know WHAT you’d call ME!!!

    She dresses like a high-priced hooker, and she’s been known to flash a nipple or two or three or four… but seriously… let’s have fun with what she IS (a no-talent bimbo socialite) not for what she ISN’T.

    Dang. I just defended Paris Hilton. I am going straight to hell. Again.

  44. fblau

    of course, posting it 3 times is perhaps not the best example of my talents.

  45. missesjhaynedoe

    What is NSFW?

  46. Mary45

    Not Suitable For Work? (or Wok?)

  47. playahater101

    #27, you are right! Her mother could have done us all a favor.

    And yes, NSFW means Not Suitable for work. The last thing anyone needs is their boss catching them glancing at a titty.

  48. Average

    Posted by fblau
    “but you people with your “whore” comments are just being silly… I mean, she doesn’t have sex in public, she was taped having sex with ONE guy”

    A whore is someone that has sex for money.
    She had sex for money…
    And it WAS public…
    So she is actually “one up” on normal whores.

  49. equeen

    She’s dripping all over herself. Somebody get this whore a napkin.

  50. Suite4

    Why don’t we just stop talking about her for a change? She’s just a stupid girl. she’s not even hot or pretty (have you seen her nose lately?) and she dresses like a hobo (money can’t buy style). Just because you talk about sex and show your vagina and dress like a whore doesn’t make you a bombshell or a sex symbol and above all it doesn’t mean you’re actually good in bed. It just means you’re an attention-seeking stupid girl. Consolation: when she’s fourty and wrinkled, she’ll probably be like one of those pathetic fake blond women we see in soap operas like Bold and Beautiful.

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