Paris Hilton still wearing a bikini

February 16th, 2010 // 78 Comments

Here’s Paris Hilton sunbathing on a yacht in Rio yesterday which I’m posting instead of the non-surprising news that Nicole Richie and Joel Madden got engaged after pumping out two kids. For the record, I’m not saying this was the smarter choice as much as I’m just narrating my life as it unfolds.

I look over to the box of Cinnamon Life, my muscles rippling in the morning light. Would this be a satisfactory breakfast or should I make Papoo, my indentured man-servant, fetch me an omelet? Sure, he’s only a figment of my imagination, but that doesn’t stop us from solving all those murders and letting the cops take the credit. It’s a thankless job we don’t like to brag about it unless it ends in free BJs from women who appreciate justice which I remain confident will eventually happen. At least once.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Starving Baby

    #49 you loveless cunt, think of all the malnourised infants that suffer because of pancake titted milk-free skeletal skanks like you. It would bring a tear to my eye but I lost them both due to a moray eel that swam out of my rectum one night in a pool and ate both of them.
    I still think you are a good person deep down inside of your boobless heart. (God I hate psychoneurotic chicks with bony meatless chests covered in veins and hair who are always needing to be reaffirmed that “Yes, it doesn’t matter darling that you have the breasts of a fat sloppy prepubescent boy”).

  2. Nadsak

    I think she looks great. Most of you wankers will NEVER has anything that looks that good. She has a great body, with a nice hip to waist ratio. Her breast are not that big, but who cares……they are fine for her frame. She has millions and still refuses to alter her body. Good for her!

  3. sej

    I know she’s a rich stuck up bitch but jeeze she has a smoking figure. I think she looks great, and I agree with the other comments commending her for not slapping on huge implants like other hollywood idiots.

  4. Andrew

    I hate this bitch why are we still seeing photos of her on here like it’s 2007? Godamnit if this site wasn’t free…

  5. That is what you call a “LUCKY MAN”

  6. Unfortunately UAE will decide that she is not worth an international incident over. Once again she will get away with being a facile excuse for a cultured, respectful being.

  7. Parris is indeed doing great in her career, all the things she has done is just part of growing up and becoming human..

  8. Doc Schweinstrudel

    I’m glad she found the man she could stick to for more than 1 month.

  9. saywha?

    she has a nice face, nice abs, but that’s it. her arms are dangly, her boobs are flat, she has no ass, and her legs make her look like big bird. she’s hotter than average, but considering the average person is obese, that’s not saying much. pretty sure if most chicks had her resources and were so obsessed with looking hot, they could do better.

  10. I’m waiting for Paris Hilton new sex tape

  11. Kebin

    Wow, what made you use the name Papoo? Where did you hear that before? That’s what my family calls my grandpa, but I’d never heard it outside my family. Weird. Fun to see him name-checked though.

  12. Love the swimsuit! Paris is lucky to be born rich, very young and have this lifestyle!

  13. This is really cool. Hey! Paris, if you have plans on going out on a bikini and falling in front of the press. Do so in front of my house!

  14. Lolocaust

    Does Paris Hilton have her own personal spam bot now?

  15. ing

    goddammit

  16. Hannah

    @ 51

    Wooow.
    1) It doesn’t matter how big or small your breasts are. Every normal girl has milk ducts that grow and fill with milk once they have a child. The more milk the child drinks, the more is produced daily. So no, women with smaller breasts do not have starved children. If that was the case, the gene for small breasts would eventually stop being passed down due to natural selection. But that never happened, even long before technology became advanced (to create baby formulas).

    2) So, taking into consideration that all normal girls have milk ducts (I say “normal” because there may be medical cases where a girl may not have some but I doubt that happens), no matter how big or small their breasts are, a girl can provide more than enough milk for her child. The differences in breast size are mainly due to how much weight is distributed all over a girl’s body as well as her weight. In other words, breast size is mostly due to fat tissues. That’s why bigger girls usually have larger breasts and thinner girls usually have smaller breasts. That’s why breast sizes can change when a girl gains or loses weight.

    I didn’t mean to write an essay but it does get annoying when people post such nonsense.

  17. BRANDON M . WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND READ ALL OF THE COMMENTS FROM THE VERY BEGINNING AND NOT THE RIDICULOUS ONES THAT BEGAN TO BE MADE IN MY NAME AROUND THE SAME DAY IN LATE JULY 2009 THAT PARIS HILTON WAS FINALLY REMOVED FROM GOOGLE’S DATABASE, LEAVING PARIS JACKSON AS THE ONLY PERSON WITH THE NAME “PARIS” LEFT IN GOOGLE’S DATABASE.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. (MATTHEW) WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS
    AGE: 33

    MY HOME ADDRESS: 3800 CURT DR. , ARLINGTON, TEXAS 76016

    GO TO YOUTUBE AND WATCH THE VIDEOS THAT I HAVE MADE AT MY HOME TO VERIFY MY ADDRESS.

  18. she is gorgeous and totally hot! but! BUT!!
    i do not like her as always..don’t know why..
    oh by the way haters check this video
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XR28I845yJM

  19. WMR

    I think Paris is wonderful. She has a great sense of humor and does not take herself too seriously. I love her!

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  22. CFP

    stunning!! see more of Paris feet and legs here:
    http://www.celebsfeetpics.com/paris-hilton-feet

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