Paris Hilton is campaigning hard for a role in the new movie Dallas based on the popular 1980′s TV show. Paris is certain she’s landed the role of Lucy Ewing, despite several insider reports that the part is already taken by a young, new actress Katie Cassidy. Ok! Magazine reports:
“In her mind she’s already part of American royalty by being a Hilton,” explains the source. “So she thinks it will be perfect casting. She’s actually surprised the producers haven’t thought of this themselves!”
Oh, those silly producers. How could they not think of Paris Hilton first? Those goofballs have to be playing a joke. I mean, who really looks for acting ability, likability and, I dunno, basic literacy when casting a movie? These guys should do stand-up. I’m dying over here. Not casting Paris Hilton. Ha! That is rich.
haha | October 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
firstttt
haha | October 17, 2007 at 2:45 pm
YESSS I WAS FIRST EVERYONE ELSE IS A LSOER HAHHAHHAAH
haha | October 17, 2007 at 2:46 pm
LOSER***
parisrumpskin | October 17, 2007 at 2:46 pm
paris is a skank and i wanna shit in her face
veggi | October 17, 2007 at 2:47 pm
She’s so beautiful! I love her!
edward | October 17, 2007 at 2:49 pm
she is not beautiful…i see wayyy better looking girls at the mall
Tits McCholo | October 17, 2007 at 2:51 pm
I’ve seen more impressive turds after taking plenty of fiber.
vanessa*hugdens*bush :P | October 17, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Paris needs to get a reality check… actress?…yeaaaaah right, she needs to see her acting role in the house of wax….yaaaaaawn… she is trying to hard to be famous, humanitarian, designer, parfums, movies, GAVE US A BRAKE PLISSS we are SOOOOO SICK OF U!
jumpin_j | October 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
An actress? How can she read a script? Didn’t she say “Reading is hard”?
justplainconfused | October 17, 2007 at 3:01 pm
Wow, just when you think there would be no way to make the impending Dallas flick a bigger turd bomb, Paris Hilton volunteers. It sounds like this film is going to make Dukes of Hazzard look brilliant by comparison.
Tits McGee | October 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm
I like how turd comes out twice in these comments.
TURD: Paris Hilton, you are a turd.
allbeautymustdie | October 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm
…I’m rather sick of hearing about this skank but like Anna Nicole you just can’t help but read. I’d be elated if she died one morning choking on her lucky charms but we all know she doesn’t eat… Food that is. They’d find her dead after choking on cock. Hopefully it’d all be on video. Oh that’s right, she’s ‘changed’. Whatever.
whatthehell | October 17, 2007 at 3:04 pm
Life is joke.
Italian Stallion | October 17, 2007 at 3:07 pm
Make me laugh…..
Andrew C | October 17, 2007 at 3:11 pm
The Superficial’s daily news is becoming as predictable as news coming out of Iraq.
Last 3 stories: Britney, Lindsay, Paris.
I can guarantee that tomorrow it’ll be Britney, Lindsay, Paris again. Or maybe to change up the order a bit, some impossibly perky Ms Beckham tits will be thrown into the mix. But that’s pretty much it. Rinse, repeat.
Oh, and I hope Paris’s vagina becomes carnivorous and starts eating neighborhood boys.
Auntie Kryst | October 17, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Is she working a trade booth? Yup American Royalty, damn right. Oh yeah, nice pimp cup your highness.
FRIST!!! | October 17, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Wow, she wants Rwanda AND Dallas???
Greedy bitch
BunnyButt | October 17, 2007 at 3:18 pm
zzzzzzzzzzzzz
FRIST!!! | October 17, 2007 at 3:19 pm
Tell me about it, BB
Jimbo | October 17, 2007 at 3:30 pm
Is Dallas going to be a porno movie? That is the only type of movie she might be qualified to act in and that is a big stretch
MrSemprini | October 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Actress? She’s been acting human for years. Does that count?
robbyrob | October 17, 2007 at 3:32 pm
come on man she got some movies under her belt!
http://www.spymac.com/details/?2284071
Sam Hain | October 17, 2007 at 3:37 pm
sucks and blows at the same time. i didn’t even know that was possible, even worse she does them both poorly…
ChicagoEric | October 17, 2007 at 3:45 pm
I’m the guy in the last picture of the second row….Do you like my expression? It me realizing Paris just gave me Herpes, Crabs, and The Clap just by touching her.
Ript1&0 | October 17, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Damn.. I’m in such a bad mood I can’t even rip on Paris Hilton. I think I’m coming down with something. That last Lindsay post gave me an infuction. Someone say something funny.
blpressure | October 17, 2007 at 3:48 pm
How can anyone think she’s beautiful with that wonky eye and man-hands and feet.
Texas Tranny | October 17, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Damn…………..I was looking forward to the new Dallas movie. If she’s in it, I’ll never see it, unless there is some nudity involved.
TS | October 17, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Jimbo,
I should have know that was a troll. Rather presumptuous of me, my apologies. Like FRIST said, not your style.
^Jodi | October 17, 2007 at 3:58 pm
She is a washing-machine-full-of-dick, but her performance in “House of Wax” was oooookkkkkkaaaaaayyyyyy. Okay? Got that? It really wasn’t that bad.
Credit where credit is due.
I still hope she meets a terrible fate in Africa.
^Jodi .
allbeautymustdie | October 17, 2007 at 4:03 pm
The only movie porn or otherwise she should be in is a snuff film… Saw style.
Jimbo | October 17, 2007 at 4:03 pm
TS – no problem. I wish they would do something about the trolling in here. I hate to say it, but I would not mind using Typekey again.
Jane | October 17, 2007 at 4:05 pm
Katie Cassidy is the daughter of David Cassidy….aka Keith Partridge.
They’d rather have the daughter of a D-List star than Paris Hilton.
Texas Tranny | October 17, 2007 at 4:12 pm
For those of you tried of looking at these same-ole bitches, here is some very fine eye-candy. I love her outfit.
http://babelocker.com/gallery/?gid=326
paper or plastic | October 17, 2007 at 4:13 pm
Dear, Fish,
Let’s run down the list of recent posts: Paris, LiLO, Britney, Jenna, & Posh.
For the love of god and the sanity of my penis, could you please post pictures of someone attractive? Hasn’t Jessica Simpson been showing cleavage or something? If I really want to see a bunch of attractively challenged women, all I have to do is walk around my office.
MrSemprini | October 17, 2007 at 4:21 pm
Hey, TT… any nudity HAS to be tasteful, OK? Or smothered in Jello… and rice pudding… and whipped cream! mmmm Whipped!!! YEAH!!!
Paige | October 17, 2007 at 4:37 pm
Forget that skank Paris. I just googled Katie Cassidy and she looks PERFECT for the role.
Phaimus | October 17, 2007 at 4:40 pm
whahah she is crayyyzeh
havoc | October 17, 2007 at 4:56 pm
Can’t be any worse than John Travolta playing J.R………
They’re not even filming the movie in Dallas!
LMAO!
.
LL | October 17, 2007 at 5:55 pm
I hate to agree with Paris, but I think she’d be perfect for a movie version of “Dallas.” It’s going to be a steaming pile anyway, why not go all out? Cast Lohan and Britney too. Might as well, it’s not like they’re casting “Hamlet.”
Also, I like her dress. When she’s not dressed like a hooker, she cleans up OK.
If this makes anyone feel better about her impending visit to Africa, there are more plane crashes in sub-Saharan Africa than anywhere else in the world because all their airplanes are raggedy-assed, as are their airports and most African countries have cruddy or nonexistent air traffic control. Shit crashes there all the time. So if she actually goes there, she has a better than usual chance of dying in a plane crash.
justtheobvious | October 17, 2007 at 6:04 pm
I’ve got both of her amature films, short as they were, I’d like to be the leading man in the next one. It’s not about the cash either, I’ll do it for free and make sure Britney gets all the proceeds to buy underwear.
jacknasty | October 17, 2007 at 8:17 pm
even Lindsay turned this role down…and she is lucky to get an audition anymore with a rep like her
Auntie Kryst | October 18, 2007 at 1:24 am
TT, good palate cleanser thank you. Just curious though, you think that’s the chick from Rock of Love? The one that came in 2nd. Sort of looks like her.
saire | October 18, 2007 at 1:43 am
Fuck
i
paris hilton i love you! | October 18, 2007 at 1:44 am
paris hilton is most talented. she can sing she can act she can flirt she’s rich she’s smart she’s beautiful she’s cute she’s sexy…..infinity~~~~
iburl | October 18, 2007 at 2:42 am
Cowboy hats and Texas Tea? That’s Hot.
TnD | October 18, 2007 at 5:44 am
This is not a popular 1980′s TV show but a 1960′s one :D
Narcissist | October 18, 2007 at 9:04 am
I thought her getting killed in House of Wax was a highlight, even though she botched that scene and several others.
Maybe an instantly forgettable, cookie cutter T&A gross-out horror movie was a little too ambitious for her, a little above her talent range.
Awww, Not This Crap Again! | October 18, 2007 at 10:04 am
Every time I see one of her “photo op” moments, I have to laugh! She ALWAYS looks like she’s posing in front of a mirror….you know, like SOME of us do before we go out…goofing off, and all.
She is such a loser! Yet. we continue to see her everywhere we go.
*HEAVY SIGH*
gerard Vandenberg | October 18, 2007 at 10:50 am
You simply failed in passing the tests:
Going to Jail, you were crying for mummies help!!
Appearence at david letterman was the best part of all. JESUS CHRIST girl, it showed how a terrible mental-WEAK person you are!! And you wanna go to rwanda? It’s better to go directly to a SHRINK/PSYCHIATRY……………………….paris? Who’s that………….WHOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
Pretty in Pink | October 18, 2007 at 10:58 am
Such a ditz.