Anyone remember Paris Hilton? Anyone? Ha ha, just kidding. Who could forget all that herp? What’re you looking at above are pics of Paris and Benji Madden that sparked speculation she’s knocked up with a devil spawn. Fortunately, for humanity’s sake, those claims have been deemed illegitimate – like the child she’ll eventually have at a later date. Us Magazine reports:
The heiress, 27, sparked blog rumors when she wore a green satin slip-dress to Crown Bar in Los Angeles Wednesday.
But her rep tells Usmagazine.com reports are “completely false.”
Of course, one might say this is the product of rampant media speculation trying to drum up a story out of nothing. But we all know Paris wore that dress and went “Hello, baby rumors, I’m back on top!” So, to deflate Paris’ plans, I’m going with a different angle. The truth:
EXCLUSIVE: PARIS HILTON’S BABY BUMP EXPLAINED: ‘I SWALLOWED A BABY DOLPHIN’
You heard it here first. Now, quick, someone get Hayden Panettiere a club for the beatdown of the century: The Wonk. The Midget. SUNDAY!
lizzums | June 6, 2008 at 12:33 pm
first?
and who still gives a shit about paris hilton?
Mike Oxbhig | June 6, 2008 at 12:33 pm
FIRST NIGGAS!!!
lizzums | June 6, 2008 at 12:34 pm
and no, mike, I WAS FIRST, FAG.
Deva | June 6, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Guess my prayers to the gods of herpes and AIDS aren’t listening. Drat!
Mike Oxbhig | June 6, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Kim Kardashian said paris’s ass looks like 2 shaved hambones in a ziploc bag. Oh…and I say fuck Obama (curious george osama) Lizzums…hang a fly trap from your cooch ya skank!
Deva | June 6, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I love when morons like #2 use the word NIGGAS. Shows the grammatical intelligence of your species.
lizzums | June 6, 2008 at 12:38 pm
kim kardashians ass looks like cottage cheese when she doesn’t have an ass massage. so what are you defending? the girl with two shaved hambones or one girl with a huge pound of cottage cheese? and I already did hang fly trap from my c u n t. so far I’ve caught two mosquitos and three wasps. great job!
FagsRus | June 6, 2008 at 12:39 pm
So that’s just a beer belly?
nobama | June 6, 2008 at 12:39 pm
get a job deva
robes | June 6, 2008 at 12:44 pm
she has a gunt
gotmilk? | June 6, 2008 at 12:45 pm
correction – she will never be knocked up with a devil spawn simply because she’s a man.
boo | June 6, 2008 at 12:46 pm
Are those detachable sleeves on that dress?
Deva | June 6, 2008 at 12:46 pm
#5 I would appreciate it if you referred to Obama by his Full name:
barrack HUSSEIN Obama – AKA, American Terrorist
Thank you.
Dr. Otto VanDerWahl | June 6, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Latex
Deva | June 6, 2008 at 12:47 pm
#9 where do you think i’m at right now?
anna | June 6, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Congr?ts to her I wish her the best :)
anna | June 6, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Congrats to her I wish her the best :)
nipolian | June 6, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Alright….It’s friday and I have just shifted into fuck-off gear.
samwise | June 6, 2008 at 12:50 pm
You can’t get preggers by swallowing
Auntie Kryst | June 6, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Uh oh emodouch is getting all worked up at the paps. A name like Benji, those faddish tattos, and a t-shirt with a skull on it, equals badass.
Sheva | June 6, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Paris Hilton still yuck, her and her herpe.
Obama is no terrorists. He’s just a Chicago machine opportunist who grew out of the corrupt south side where all his left wing friends hang.
He’s not a terrorist, just a socialist-marxist who will leave Americans equally screwed with nothing but change in their pockets.
He takes the bills for himself.
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 12:56 pm
I thought Paris couldn’t get pregnant because her uterus was ruptured during a friendly game of Monopoly last fall??
sportsdvl | June 6, 2008 at 12:58 pm
hey #1 – apparantly you do since your life is so shallow you are excited about being the 1st to post about her!
hey #2 – Words can’t even explain your level of doucheness. Makes us think you are really this Benji Madden loser on here looking for friends.
nipolian | June 6, 2008 at 12:58 pm
I’m a little jealous of Benj…..I’ll bet all of Paris’ vag warts work just like a french tickler in reverse.
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Shut the fuck up already about ,Obama you whiney Caucasoiledinsects. Your asses have been up in the president seat for centuries, and the economy is still f’d up the wahzoo. Its about damn time for a change.
Jackson | June 6, 2008 at 1:03 pm
I hate worthless no talent media whore Paris Herpes. It looks like she gained weight on her stomach.
havoc | June 6, 2008 at 1:04 pm
I agree, its time for a change.
That’s why I’m voting for the colored guy…..
.
Veroonica | June 6, 2008 at 1:12 pm
Oh my God 25it’s you, isn’t it. Imagine the honor of having Michelle Obama post on our little website! We feel so honored!
her royal wonkness | June 6, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Her eyelids are droopier and droopier!
caitie | June 6, 2008 at 1:21 pm
If she is with child then it was probably an immaculate conception. For Paris Hilton is the blessed virgin Mary of our time, and her child will surely be an incarnation of God, a prophet who will lead mankind to… whatever it is that Jesus did. Thats right.
scoob | June 6, 2008 at 1:22 pm
I think Paris’ eye is smarter than #13
Lara | June 6, 2008 at 1:24 pm
I shall never drink and party as hard as I did yesterday !! I am turning to GOD!
oK, back to excuse for a human skank Hilton. You give woman a bad NAME. But than again so do I…Gosh I am confused! The drugs are not working anymore -HELP!
PimpMammaM | June 6, 2008 at 1:26 pm
Wow! Paris ate something!!!!
That’s what happens when you barely eat, and then finally eat something substantial. The belly will go back down after she poops.
Lara | June 6, 2008 at 1:27 pm
At # 21 -WORDS OF WISDOM! -WELL DONE.
Sheva | June 6, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Yeah and #25, you got into Princeton on affirmative action but you still don’t know how to spell whitey right.
You are one angry unhappy Obamination biyatch.
WOW | June 6, 2008 at 1:31 pm
#32 put.the.keyboard.away.
spencer pratt im a fucking asshole | June 6, 2008 at 1:32 pm
Loving the super fake-bake oompah loompah orange legs with the pale face. Bravo.
Lara | June 6, 2008 at 1:33 pm
the only way # 25 got into Princeton was to work at the kitchen cleaning dishes….
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 1:33 pm
Bitch please. Who was spelling whitey?? I said WHINEy, as in bitching and moaning. As in what your broke ass is doing right now.
Sit Down.
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 1:35 pm
The closest you all will ever get to a college is using the restroom in one. Dumbass trailer fucks.
Jimbo | June 6, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Now that all of the excitement is over about Paris, I have a question for the Fish Dude. How in the HELL do you put Queen Latifah in a bikini in the “So Freaking Hot” section of the Superficial? Did some one poke out your eye balls? Did you go temporally blind? What the F is up??
NY Ted | June 6, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Who is her little friend with the big boobs…???
I ride her like Big Brown in the Belmont Saturday…!!!
Harley Quinn | June 6, 2008 at 1:38 pm
the chick next to her has a way better body. Paris looks like a 45 year old hooker
Veroonica | June 6, 2008 at 1:41 pm
You go Michelle!
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Ok, Vewrongica, the name is ‘Danielle’, not Michelle. Jimbo knows me, ask it.
Sheva | June 6, 2008 at 1:49 pm
We know Michelle said whitey. When she was hanging out with “minister” Farakhan as B. Hussein calls him.
He may have dismissed Shrillary but soon when the word about whitey gets out, Obama will be throwing Michelle under the bus. The media will pardon his list of excuses as the multiple positions on Wright, Trinity “Black Liberation Theology” Church, Commie Terrorist Pal Ayers, and Tony the Convict House Buyer Rezko.
Here’s Obama coming positions on Michelle, over several weeks:
1. I had no knowledge of my wife’s comments.
2. I was never around when she spoke badly about those “typical” white people
3. Those remarks are against everything I stand for. (Please ignore my voting left wing voting record, especially on babies surviving abortion.)
4. I can no more disown Michelle than my racist grandmother
5. Sadly, I have come to a painful personal decision and will be throwing under the bus Michelle with my other 15-20 year shocking relationships. In addition, I will no longer discuss this personal matter.
Now who is the illiterate bitch, #25. You just got pwned.
Sheva | June 6, 2008 at 1:49 pm
We know Michelle said whitey. When she was hanging out with “minister” Farakhan as B. Hussein calls him.
He may have dismissed Shrillary but soon when the word about whitey gets out, Obama will be throwing Michelle under the bus. The media will pardon his list of excuses as the multiple positions on Wright, Trinity “Black Liberation Theology” Church, Commie Terrorist Pal Ayers, and Tony the Convict House Buyer Rezko.
Here’s Obama coming positions on Michelle, over several weeks:
1. I had no knowledge of my wife’s comments.
2. I was never around when she spoke badly about those “typical” white people
3. Those remarks are against everything I stand for. (Please ignore my voting left wing voting record, especially on babies surviving abortion.)
4. I can no more disown Michelle than my racist grandmother
5. Sadly, I have come to a painful personal decision and will be throwing under the bus Michelle with my other 15-20 year shocking relationships. In addition, I will no longer discuss this personal matter.
Now who is the illiterate bitch, #25? pwned!
Jimbo | June 6, 2008 at 1:50 pm
@45 Is this my buddy DanYELL? How have you been. I’ve missed you. Where have you been?
Danielle | June 6, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Wow Sheva the Beaver, you trully outdid yourself. *handclap*
Now run along, pop 3 Valtrex tablets, and then walk into oncoming traffic like a good little slutfaced hoebag.
–
OMG. Jim?? I left this site because everyone else did. Where the fuck is Bitchport & Co. “I no longer go to Trinity either sweetums”. I transfered to a better school?? 3.7 GPA & all!! Ya proud??
Bigal | June 6, 2008 at 1:57 pm
“Sheva” go screw yourself, or better yet go stick your head up Bush’s azz, you probably voted for him both times….nice job!!