Paris Hilton stars in her own political ad

August 5th, 2008 // 109 Comments

Paris Hilton in a bathing suit threatening to run for office. Awesome. Not only do I now have eye herpes, but I’m forced to live in fear of a dystopian future where Paris Hilton shapes our country’s political discourse. FunnyOrDie folks, that is the complete opposite of funny. So how does this work: Does she die now or do I? Frankly, I’m cool either way at this point.

superficial

  1. ishi-san

    It could have been funny, if she would not have said such profane things like “white hair dude” and “I’m just hot”……. that makes it become just a joke for morons…..

  2. Amanda

    That was kinda funny…not gonna lie..I think I like paris a little bit more just for doing that…

  3. ishi-san

    @ 50: oh yes, be proud of blogs like this!!! well done…..

    (yes, I know…..I do read them and I do enjoy them as well *lol*)

  4. ishi-san

    @ 50: no actually you’re right! thank you for creating this blogs for us… this way we have more time to focus on less mass-cultural things and do things that really matter! ;-)

    oh and also : humoUr :-)

  5. #53 – 54 – Your personalities seem to be arguing. They make cyanide pills for that… I saw it in a James Bond flick once.

  6. B

    At times like these i wish i were American so i can vote for her

  7. James

    Paris Rocks, the old guy not so much…..

  8. Bill

    Ok…. I won’t lie. I am in no way a fan of Paris Hilton but that was actually funny.

  9. ishi-san

    @ RichPort: well I like both of me, I would rather not get rid of one of me……
    ….hehe….I like you!

  10. 0bservant

    5. Aaron – “The scary thing is that you CAN vote for anybody ”

    No – the scary thing is that even though you are told over and over again how important your vote is …. it’s not your popular vote that elects a president. THAT’S the scary thing. That people actually think their highly solicited vote elects a president

    Well they best beware. With my keen observant eyes, I’m all over this one \;-{
    I see what you bastards did there, and I’m on the job

  11. laDouche

    I actually thought this was funny and well done. And though I hate myself for saying it, she does actually look hot.

  12. mar

    that was awesome. that’s what mccain gets for appropriating her image for his commercial without permission.

  13. Lindsay

    ROFL that was amazing. She actually did a good job, shes sort of right too. (omg, ew did i say that)

    but I still like Mccain best.

  14. london

    i bet she has no idea what the hell she is talking about…can u imagine how many cuts and redos they had to do.

  15. gary

    Serves McCain right. She struck back at the old creep!

  16. LIZZY

    WHAT A FUCKING IDIOT! THIS GIRL DOES NOTHING GOOD FOR THIS WORLD YET SHE IS SO FAMOUS. FAMOUS FOR BEING RICH AND HAVING NICE CLOTHES IS ABOUT IT! WHAT AN ATTENTION WHORE! WHAT HAS THIS WORLD COME TO!!!!!!

    NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008! NOBAMA 2008!

  17. I see Lizzy is in a tizzy… and her hair is frizzy…

  18. yuristache

    How could all of you be so negative about Paris Hilton on this ad campaign? After all, she is the first viable female presidential candidate of the year.

  19. Eddy

    You know, I actually can’t believe I’m saying this, but I totally think she’s hilarious now. That much self-mockery… I love it.

    Its actually not the world’s worst idea, either.

  20. LIZZY

    I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!

  21. LIZZY

    I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!

    NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!

  22. LIZZY

    I SEE RICHPORT IS A STUPID ASS OBAMA LOVER AND CAN KISS MY ASS!!!! AND NO MY HAIR AINT FRIZZY BITCH!!!!

    NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!NOBAMA 2008!

  23. Jess

    HAHAHA I LOVED that! That seriously made me like Paris.

  24. mar

    just as a note – the plan she’s plugging is the one obama recently stated he would compromise with (that has brought up the dreadful ‘flip-flop’ moniker); basically compromising about the offshore US drilling in limited amounts with strict environmental safeguards, while at the same time predominantly pursuing alternative energy.

  25. pointandlaugh

    I normally loathe Paris Hilton, but that video was damn hilarious.

    I’d vote for her.

    “SEE YOU AT THE DEBATES, BITCHES!”

    love it.

  26. blokker

    It’s not a bad idea! if it wasn’t coming out of here mouth

  27. #70 – 72 – Tourette’s much?

  28. Skip Smith

    OK, that was funny. Herpes or not, I’d do her.

  29. ishi-san

    @ RichPort: ok, now you made me think you are an actual psychologist! *lol*

    @ Lizzy: Classy! *rofl*

  30. blabla

    Love it!! Never thought I’d like anything coming out of this girl.

    Hahahahaha…. Viva non-politics and humour! (except that it’s a couple minutes too long)

  31. damnit

    “I’ll see you at the debates bitches.” So…I thought this mock-ad was pretty much hilarious.

    And it came from Paris Hilton…

    Which means I’m ready to jump off a bridge now.

  32. janie118

    don´t believe she memorized all that suff about energy saving, look at her face, seems like she is reading it

  33. PRESS RELEASE – August 6, 2007

    For immediate release:

    Paris Hilton is officially on the presidential ballot.
    A website to support her campaign can be found at

    http://www.VoteParis2008.com.

  34. eurotrash

    hahahaha this shit is pretty funny.. but on the other hand pretty scary too; i as a european cannot believe that something as serious as political elections actually allows for something as gay and fake as those damn campaign ads u americans seem to need in order to vote. i never thought i would say this, but thank you paris for showing americans exactly how ridiculous their political process really is!

  35. ipanema

    eurotrash, where exactly from europe are you from?

  36. #84 – You could stop at “i as a european cannot ” and let us fill in the blank.

  37. shut your mouth

    @ 71

    Get your facts straight. She’s NOT an Obama supporter. Her family actually gave money to the McCain campaign. The only reason she made this video is because he made a commercial about how Obama is just another celebrity like Paris Hilton.

    So…shut up.

  38. taxpayer

    First – Lizzy, just BREATH!!!

    Second – #87, you misread. Lizzy (the insane one) is clearly stating that RICHPORT is the “Obama supporter”, not Paris. Also, Mama Hilton did indeed give money to the McCain campaign, yet Paris, as far as we know, did not contribute. Therefore we don’t know who Paris supports – obviously not that old guy OR the guy for change. We do know, however stupid she may appear, Paris is for Paris.

  39. The Clap

    @38

    Nice run on sentence. Faulkner or Joyce you’re not. I guess we know who cheated through their A levels.

    In America, we call your type “GED educated”. I’ll give you all the time you need to look that up on Wikipedia and scarf down a Big Mac, Taco Bell burrito, Wendy’s burger, or listen to rock n’ roll, jazz, blues, or even call a friend while you figure it out. Get it? America made all of those things that you folks in the UK obviously love because I don’t see any US chains being driven out by boycotts of your “superior” intelligence.

    So in reality, the UK folks are just as dumb as the American’s and you don’t realize you’ve sadly been our puppets for the past 30-50 years. No wonder you won the War of 1812 but couldn’t keep any land.

    “Ooh we burned down the White House! FTW!”
    “Did you guys take back any of the British Empire?”
    “Yes, we called it *New* England. Clever, ya?”
    “Uh, it was already called that.”
    “We burned down the White House!”

    BTW – Californian pronunciation of the English language is considered to be one of the most accurate and clear. Perhaps if the British had better teeth, they’d sound like Californians, too.

    I win!

  40. taxpayer

    #89 – you won.

    But….

    There’s no apostrophe in Americans, at least not the way you use it.

    All in all though, a nice, cohesive, and indeed catty show of wit and intelligence to those uppity Brits, who can’t pronounce aluminum. Cheers.

  41. K

    Just an FYI, America isn’t the fattest country anymore. Look it up, there was an article.

    Unfortunately, it’s Australia.

  42. ishi-san

    I think 84 exactly got the point!
    But I can also imagine that this is very hard to see from an inside position (Americans are in)….so don’t worry, we forgive you for insulting Europeans. *lol*

  43. miscmisc

    what a dumb b i t c h

  44. miscmisc

    what a dumb b i t c h

  45. Just Dick

    I don’t know…it’s kind of refreshing to see her doing something where she’s mocking herself. You think she doesn’t know how people view her or how she portrays herself?

    The real candidates should’ve known better than to include her in campaign ads in a negative way. Wouldn’t you say something if they did it to you?

  46. friendlyfires

    Too bad you’re not at least 35 years old, Paris, otherwise, you’d be like, totally qualified to lead this rad country.
    Bathing suit – bitchen, totally

  47. clare

    anyone remember ’04? she was all about the rock the vote campaign and then never bothered to actually vote.

    so…until she does at least ONE thing that is at all civically responsible, let’s all do our part to let her fade into oblivion.

  48. paris will eat ur soul

    Paris was fucking hilarious. acknowledge, accept, and move on. say what you want about her…but the truth is that (unlike most of us) she’s free to live her life without giving a fuck. it’s a beautiful thing.

  49. caitie

    This made me lol a bit, but i don’t hate Paris. Don’t like her particularly – in fact, you could say i don’t give a fuck and have no real opinion.

    What she was actually saying towards the end there was kind of… intelligent. The whole hybrid scheme idea. Hm.

    Jesus. I guess this is a sign of the apocalypse.

    @ 91: I’m Australian ;(

    The one thing we’re beating America at is being fat. Brilliant.

  50. The English...

    89.

    Actually we don’t have Taco Bell or Wendy’s or any of those other “chains” in the UK except the big three (McDonalds, Burger King and KFC). And I happen to know that BK are dying a death here in the UK. Fast food is so passé. We don’t all wanna be fat like our American cousins. If you actually had news about other countries in America you’d know that your beloved Starbucks is also posting losses this year. Oh well. Those of us with a history of more than 400 years know all about the rise and fall of empires. What goes up must come down…

    How is the Californian pronounciation of the English Language the most accurate?? That makes no sense. For one thing a language is not fixed it changes with every generation of speakers… The Californian accent might be “the most accurate” inside the United States but not compared to the rest of the world. I, for one, would rather speak with the English accent we have now than Shakespearian or Chaucer’s English and anything has to be better than that Californian drawl. That’s like so Hot! Oh. My. God! Could I speak any slower and more annoying?! No thanks. Just listening for 10 minutes to those morons on The Hills makes me want to cut my ears off with a rusty bread knife.

    And as for Rock N Roll – Thanks for giving us the Beatles and The Stones. How very kind of you. What would our culture be like without America helping us along the way? Oh yeah, that’s right, We wouldn’t have sarcasm.

    Also, in the UK it’s spelt – ALUMINIUM.

    And now back on topic – Paris rocks. Yes, she’s an moronic attention seeking whore with an IQ lower than a bread stick but way to stick it to Mccain.

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