Paris Hilton stars in her own political ad

August 5th, 2008 // 109 Comments

Paris Hilton in a bathing suit threatening to run for office. Awesome. Not only do I now have eye herpes, but I’m forced to live in fear of a dystopian future where Paris Hilton shapes our country’s political discourse. FunnyOrDie folks, that is the complete opposite of funny. So how does this work: Does she die now or do I? Frankly, I’m cool either way at this point.

superficial

  1. sTEVE

    Mowi

    Luvs it.

  2. Fish Fish

    “strick environmental oversights”… ‘nuf said.

  3. Prattletale

    One thing’s for sure, Paris always can be goaded into making a public spectacle of herself in responding to ANYTHING.

    If only she could be persuaded into taking the high road and just shutting her mouth—for once. But then there would be a lot of disappointed knobs out there that need to be polished. And it’s not like she has a good parental role model in Kathy. Both of their responses are the desired effect….they’re too easy. Manipulation baby.

    Bummer.

  4. sherry

    i think i would vote for paris at this point GO PARIS GIVE THEM HELL!!!!!

  5. Aaron

    The scary thing is that you CAN vote for anybody at a voting booth. I can totally see Paris Hilton’s name showing up for like 1000 votes or something in the November election…

  6. WickedWitchOfTheWest

    On a related note…here’s a video of another retard…except this one is kinda funny.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxODBppps18

    enjoy

  7. mimi

    This ad rocks!

    Fish-Head SUKS!

    GO PARIS!

  8. steve

    haha, that ruled.

    vote Paris.

  9. Magoo

    Holy SHIT BATMAN i think im gonna choke Paris actually sounded the slightest bit intelligent like she knows about the energy debate

  10. rough daddy

    wanna bet they finally had this, after 200 outtakes? a team of producers probably connect the takes, line by line….

  11. rustingrabbit

    I’m surprised my head is still intact after watching that video. What?! And that was actually a good plan…wasn’t hers…but wasn’t half that bad. How about she uses come of her millions to help pay for it? I mean her parents. They owe us anyway for letting her crazy ass out into the world.

  12. rustingrabbit

    I’m surprised my head is still intact after watching that video. What?! And that was actually a good plan…wasn’t hers…but wasn’t half that bad. How about she uses some of her millions to help pay for it? I mean her parents. They owe us anyway for letting her crazy ass out into the world.

  13. havoc

    Attention whore.

    .

  14. Nice. I bet she could respond to the energy crisis by say, not being a single person living in a 60000 sq foot house with a pool the size of an elementary school. Or switching to environmentally friendly, vegetable based lube.

    #10 – My thoughts exactly. I bet they wasted enough energy to light up the city of Paris trying to get this one right.

  15. ishi-san

    *hahahahaha*
    you can really see that she has no idea what she is talking about when she gives her explanation of the ‘energy-policy’!!!!! But WOW, she remembered that text really well!!! maybe she is not as stupid as I though after all *lol*

  16. me

    OMG THAT WAS HILLARIOUS, i loved it, don’t you peeps have a sense of humour?!!!

  17. #16 – Hey, I have a sense of humOr… I laugh every time you people throw extra letters in your words…

  18. zegabe

    talking about policies she surely favors loose border controls in the southern areas

    it seems many people managed to cross the very, very very weak barriers she had put around her southern border and manged to enter and exit enter and exit enter and exit

  19. Meredith

    I’ve never said a kind word about Paris, but that? Was funny. I give her credit for being able to see the humour of the situation.

  20. Meredith

    I’ve never said a kind word about Paris, but that? Was funny. I give her credit for being able to see the humour of the situation. RichPort, I’m Canadian. That word has a U in it. Not that I would be so rude as to suggest that you spell it wrong…

  21. treeeka

    Ha! That was actually really F’ing awesome!
    Good job girl! Well spoken.

  22. max

    Paris, you are stupid, stupid person!!! you have no idea about politics! zip your mouth!!!

  23. Hi Meredith… I didn’t say you ice jockeys spelled it wrong, I just said I chuckle at all the extra letters. I mean, anyoune caun audd aun euxtra “u” whereeuver theuy waunt. It doesn’t dehorse my mounties… I’m all types of understanding of third world cultures and shit.

  24. ishi-san

    @ RichPort (14, 17) : I absolutly agree with your point in 14……

    …….but humour with “ou” is not wrong at all!!!!!! that’s British English! which is according to me a richer English …..but don’t execute me for that, it’s just my oppinion! *lol*

  25. i think i just lolzed a little, i have no idea why

  26. Linda

    #22
    100% right!!!

  27. stella

    hilarious!

    paris is actually funny! go paris ^^

  28. Meredith

    Thanks for explaining, RichPort. I shouldn’t be so quick to be all defensive. It’s just that we get a lot of “you’re wrong and we’re right” from our southern neighbo(u)rs, and national defense is my knee-jerk reaction. Thanks again, and no harm done.

  29. buck

    if she actually did run for president as a third party she would get 20% of Obama’s informed voters.

  30. DID YOU “STUDY” HER SHOE-SIZE?

  31. tight lipped smiler

    Wow, Paris you actually sounded intelligent. Now get a boob job like you’re supposed to.

  32. ihatework

    Paris supports drilling…. as long as it is in her glory hole…. that in itself is an enviromental disaster…

  33. Slackuru

    I think I’m scared, she sounded more intelligent and coherent than either of the chumps we are supposed to vote on in the fall!

  34. criss

    i think shes hysterical

  35. sick

    That was great!!! In my opinion that was the perfect way to respond to the McCain ad. Way to go, Paris!

  36. Kim Lardassian

    UGH so vacuous talk of reading autocue. If it was almost any other celeb it would have been funny but for Parisite it just makes me wanna stab her.

  37. Kim Lardassian

    @17 we laugh every time we realiSe how utterly illiterate and uneducated Americans are we also snigger every time Americans say they speak and write English when they clearly can do no such thing, only the British English speak and write correct English, anything else is a pathetic attempt that fails miserably.

    You’ll all be speaking Spanish soon enough anyway and then thank goodness we can have English back.

  38. Kim Lardassian

    @17 we laugh every time we realiSe how utterly illiterate and uneducated Americans are we also snigger every time Americans say they speak and write English when they clearly can do no such thing, only the British English speak and write correct English, anything else is a pathetic attempt that fails miserably.

    You’ll all be speaking Spanish soon enough anyway and then thank goodness we can have English back.

  39. OK,..I HATE HATE H.A.T.E. (Hate All Things Even remotely paris) but that was funny, and more to the point spot on.

    Republicans have good ideas that are to strictly “Republican” in their philosophy (in that they limit what’s good for “the people” over what’s good for “the party”) The Dems are the same…..

    If you combine and/or use bits and pieces from each sides suggestions you usually find the best solution for the people. But that would cut into the lobby contributions/payoffs for either side, so it will never happen.

  40. meborg

    Why is this skank-whore still around????

    WHO CARES

  41. Meredith

    That’s uncalled for, Kim. Be nice.

  42. roop

    #13. That was exactly the point of the original McCain ad.

  43. Cattyluo

    It is incredible !I saw her profile on M i l l i o n a i r e 4 m e . c o m ,there are so many hot pictures on this site.If you have interest,you can visit the site.

  44. Sam

    Vote! Paris Hilton/ Kim Kardashian 08′

  45. marie

    That is the funniest thing I’ve seen in awhile. I’d vote for her. She’s definitely hot. Not. But whom… who wrote her commerical? Benji Madden?

  46. MassGrrl

    @37/38: Apparently, those speaking British English have no need for proper punctuation.

  47. FIST

    Cunt.

  48. Paris Sucks

    Her nose could pop a balloon.

  49. mer

    The best part is when she tried to be serious.

    Also, that she thinks she’s hot.

  50. #38 & 39 – And yet here you are, commenting on an American blog (ahem)

    Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie’s got blagged last night.
    Avi: Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

    Go thee backe to ye olde shoppe you freaking letter waster!!!

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