If you haven’t seen or heard it yet, here’s the music video for Paris Hilton’s new single “Stars Are Blind.” I don’t want to comment on how it sounds, but the video looks like a really long CK commercial. Which is every bit as boring as it sounds. When she was rolling around in the sand when her nipple fell out it looked like she might be spoofing herself and acting like an ass on purpose. Turns out that’s not the case, and she was actually trying to look sexy. It fails miserably, as does everything else about the video. This looks like what you’d get if you gave somebody $20 and told him to film Paris and a guy making out on the beach for 4 minutes.
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Fisher55 | June 7, 2006 at 10:49 am
first, fuckers
lightandsweet | June 7, 2006 at 10:52 am
the scene with paris on the beach…she was just trying to bring her crabs “home”…
sharkbite | June 7, 2006 at 10:53 am
You know, the thing with it, is that it doesn’t sound as horrible as Federline’s attempt at music, but this also sounds overly manufactured. It’s hard to tell whether Paris Hilton sounds OK, or if our recording technology has improved ten-fold to cover up an otherwise shitty voice!
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
pinky_nip | June 7, 2006 at 10:54 am
Well, I TRIED to watch this stupid video, but it won’t play.
And then I thought, WTF? Why do I want to see this? Do I really hate myself that much?
I’m sure I could run down to the zoo right now and see baboons rolling around with one another and I’d get more turned on. I mean, I just love their red-asses.
Diana | June 7, 2006 at 10:55 am
What was with the cameraman? Was he having a seizure during the whole video?
Wait… that was me. My tongue is rapidly swelling- I think I bit it.
She makes my brain hurt.
TCLTC
Steen | June 7, 2006 at 10:56 am
damn that sucked.
LaurenB | June 7, 2006 at 10:56 am
Craptastic.
Fisher55 | June 7, 2006 at 10:56 am
okay, now that i’ve taken a moment to view the video in question…what crap, as if gwen stefani had a double-digit IQ but no style or talent
Fugurself | June 7, 2006 at 10:57 am
Like I said in a previous post….
I have a dream. In it, OJ marries Paris Hilton…
amy | June 7, 2006 at 11:00 am
I can’t believe I just used up 4 minutes of my life watching this.
wtf was I thinking ??
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 7, 2006 at 11:01 am
I don’t get sound on this computer, so in my mind she is singing acapella “there’s sand in my vagina, there’s sand in my vagina”. Turn your sound off and try it. It really works. It’s like that Pink Floyd – Wizard of Oz thing.
Fisher55 | June 7, 2006 at 11:01 am
pinky: download mozilla firefox, it’s good for video viewing
RichPort | June 7, 2006 at 11:03 am
Hopefully STDs can’t be transferred through the TV and internet, but something tells me the technology exists. Every station manager that plays this song/ video deserves to be fired and forced to fuck her as punishment. Then we need to be able to laugh and point at them as their dicks shrivel up and fall off like a newborn’s umbilical cord.
Mojogirlie | June 7, 2006 at 11:03 am
I sure hope the guy she was dry humping in the video has good medical insurance. You know, for all the Valtrex he’ll be needing now.
Agatha | June 7, 2006 at 11:03 am
Um, that’s not actually the video, but a summer-themed public service announcement on herpes.
Fisher55 | June 7, 2006 at 11:04 am
I heard that during filming Paris was caught in her trailer with a lame banana up her twat
vanya_k | June 7, 2006 at 11:04 am
It’s like somebody tool Chris Isaac’s “Wicked Game” video (which was also done in Black & white — Paris ripped it off), slathered it with half-chewed bubble-gum and infected it with herpes.
jane's eyre | June 7, 2006 at 11:04 am
Can we say….RIPOFF! She sound like she’s trying to be Gwen Stephani.
And I wanted to reach through the monitor, pin her arms down to her sides, truss her up with her own bleached hair, and javelin-toss her out to sea, where sharks will jump up into the air to eagerly consume her.
Chicagoboy | June 7, 2006 at 11:05 am
Paris’s acting was so much better in her first “video.” Sinner.
Jacq | June 7, 2006 at 11:06 am
#4 – Won’t play on mine, either. I saw this on Perez Hilton yesterday and wouldn’t play then. I think it it God’s way of protecting our little eyes.
#11 – It probably feels like there’s sand in her crotch all of the time. Her LAB.
kandyk0119 | June 7, 2006 at 11:06 am
What a lame bitch, she can’t even lip synch right….Doesn’t she get enough attn w/out distorting our Music Outlets too…..damn skank, at least they can airbrush her herpe sores and her freakin crazy eye in a music video….
Jacq | June 7, 2006 at 11:07 am
Can we contract eye-herpes from watching her too much and seeing her va-jayjay all of the time? Either way, I need some Windex STAT.
jane's eyre | June 7, 2006 at 11:07 am
17
UGH! Don’t EVEN compare the “Wicked Game” video to this atrocity! In my personal opinion, the “Wicked Game” video is one of the sexiest videos EVER. Like #15 said, it’s a PSA for herpes.
tarjamarja | June 7, 2006 at 11:07 am
Okay, so that’s Paris wiggling on the beach, half naked as usual. But who’s doing the singing?
daisyduke | June 7, 2006 at 11:08 am
i watched about 30 seconds then had to stop, but the beginning sounds just like culture club haha
Jacq | June 7, 2006 at 11:09 am
When she’s on the beach, do the crabs crawl INTO or OUT of her? Just curious.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 7, 2006 at 11:09 am
Many womens’ vaginas have been compared to things like flowers, butterflies, chewed-up bubblegum.
Stavros Niarchos said Paris’ vagina was like something you’d find in the dumpster behind a harware store or in a jar on an alien spacecraft. He wrote that to her in a poem. It’s true.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 7, 2006 at 11:10 am
*hardware
Jacq | June 7, 2006 at 11:11 am
#27 – In one of those, like, 21-page papers he was always writing for school?
Chicagoboy | June 7, 2006 at 11:11 am
As the great philosopher Bart Simpson once said, “before this, I didn’t think it was possible for something to suck and blow at the same time.” Leave it to Paris to reach new levels of craptacular entertainment.
inspector11 | June 7, 2006 at 11:12 am
the stars are blind. great title. i understand the working title of this song was “i gave the stars syphillis” but it didn’t play well in focus groups.
initially i thought i was getting turned on by this video, but it turns out that my genitals were trying to kill themselves.
Steph | June 7, 2006 at 11:12 am
Oh Paris, you work that palm tree like it’s your beach side stripper pole.
A real class act if there ever was one
spatz | June 7, 2006 at 11:12 am
i only got thru the first couple of seconds. this is by far the worst Chris isaac video ripoff ever. ever ever ever. i didnt put up the sound, and i’m sure i’m much better off. just die p hilton!
hurley | June 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
little kids will like this catchy song. it’s their spineless parents who’ll buy a million copies once junior starts stomping his/her feet for it.
and tweens with their $50/week allowances.
vanya_k | June 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
#23 Liek is said — slathered it with half-chewed bubble guma nd infected it with herpes. capisce?
Wicked Game was voted the “sexiest video of all time” by MTV, for whatever that’s worth. It’s obvious Paris has tried to rip off some of the production of that, the skank…it’s like taking Casablanca and putting Rosie O’Donnell in Ingrid Bergman’s role.
1-Ton | June 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
I threw up just now. Why did I watch that?
wg | June 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
Thank you for an honest review of the video. Perez’s was disgustingly kiss ass.
DivaG81 | June 7, 2006 at 11:13 am
Thank you kandy – she totally has a lazy eye and it drives me nuts! Ok, not only can she not sing (a given), but surprisingly enough, she can’t dance! WTF?! I thought she spent her life in clubs – she looks like a praying mantis writhing around with her jerky motions. SHE SUCKS!
spatz | June 7, 2006 at 11:14 am
actually this video looks more like a valtrex commercial.
hurley | June 7, 2006 at 11:15 am
31
that was hilarious.
thatsmyname | June 7, 2006 at 11:15 am
Paria is a retard, but I kinda like the song.
suzy | June 7, 2006 at 11:16 am
i heard this song last night on sirius
it gives me a headache
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 7, 2006 at 11:17 am
27 – I think it was when he was supposed to be working on his paper during free period, but instead was drawing loopy pictures on his Big Chief pad with a crayon of Paris and him holding hands on a beach with hearts and dollar signs all around them. Later it was reported the dollar signs and hearts were replaced with drawings of daggers and crabs.
pharcyde | June 7, 2006 at 11:18 am
Is it me or does Paris kind of sound like Gwen Stefani?
Binky | June 7, 2006 at 11:20 am
I’m hoping that big wave got them.
But I ‘m also a bit worried about how many palm trees were harmed during the shoot because of all that contact.
That’s not the ‘tree hugging’ Paris is known for.
katgyrl | June 7, 2006 at 11:20 am
paris’ voice is as processed as her hair is. there’s probably 4 or 5 studio singers involved, with their individual tracks overlayed to create the impression of a single voice. all in all it’s so boring that it’s given me a fit of narcolepsy… zzZzzzz…
Italian Stallion | June 7, 2006 at 11:21 am
@30 LOL………..
spatz | June 7, 2006 at 11:21 am
44: my heart just broke a little. such blasphemy. i hate paris hilton. i just hate her. she makes the baby jesus cry.
RichPort | June 7, 2006 at 11:21 am
Sounds a bit like SKA…
Sorry, I meant SKA-NK
elpinko | June 7, 2006 at 11:21 am
“Stars are Blind”? Well they will be after watching this pile of crap.
Bet they’ll be wishing they were deaf too.