Paris Hilton needs a clear gel that’s strong enough for a man – but pH balanced for a woman

October 30th, 2008 // 95 Comments

An Exclusive Behind the Scenes Look at Why You’re Staring at Paris’ Crusty Armpit:

Just after the Aubrey O’Day post, I’m sifting through photos that are available to me from various sources, and I come across a set of Heidi and Spencer pics which are stupid tempting on a day like today. But then I remembered, when it comes to these Fuck-faces, I’ve already been like the boyfriend who promised he wouldn’t cheat on you again – then banged your sister. (Twice.) So instead, I found shots of Paris Hilton in the wee hours of the morning outside her hotel in London. I guess they don’t make clear stick deodorant across the pond, or she’s not allowed in drug stores for fear of contamination. Either way: You’re welcome!

Photos: WENN

  1. Alfredo


  2. BrownEyedBrunette

    That’s Corrie from Paris Hilton’s My New Best Friend

    She got a haircut, but it’s totally her.

    Did this picture just spoil the show? hmmm…

  3. Kia

    Wow, eat a cheeseburger. Seriously!

  4. Bailey

    Why is she so fucking huge compared to her friend? It makes her look like a tranny….

  5. PunkA

    I thought that was a photo of a tranny Paris impersonator. She seriously has a tranny vibe going on in these photos. Very icky.

  6. Spike

    Gee, Paris’ armpit. Slow news day?

  7. Fish dude, Are you sure that is not coke in her arm pits??

  8. NoNews

    That’s not Paris Hilton, that’s a dude. I swear!

  9. yikes

    She’s looking anorexic in these pics. I wonder what happened. She’s always been a stick figure but now it’s really lookin’ bad. Maybe it’s Benji heartbreak.

  10. Dan

    Iugggg! what’s that!? cocaine?

  11. Ted from LA

    I wonder if she realizes how fucking idiotic she looks when she poses like that. Lady looks like a dude.

  12. codakine

    when did she become anorexic? and grow to amazon heights?

  13. dean

    ugly tranny (esp pic 6)

  14. Kingsley Amis

    That’s a yeast infection.

  15. mamadough

    dammit fish, i said in the last post only if spencer’s head is in a bear trap. that’s one of your new rules in being able to post about them.

  16. You should see her in real life. You know what they say about ‘the camera adds 10 pounds’. I saw her in Hollyweed and thought she took my crack pipe. Yes, it is the coca – pit mix…

  17. vuub

    She is so hot!!!!!!!!!! I love her very much. It is said she is dating friends on a sports has a personal account there with her pictures, blog and something about her albums…In her friend circle, some other stars c San be found there.

  18. Paris Lover

    That’s not deodorant, that’s all I she let me get in for $20.
    PEW PEW PEW!!!!
    Now it hurts when I pee.

  19. Lola

    This girl is like fucking ugly as shit…. What the hell does anyone find attractive about her? She’s bony as shit, she has every STD imaginable to man, her armpits look flabby which is weird because she’s skinny as shit

    She’s just fucking disgusting and gross…. This posting is worse than the previous oness FISH

  20. James

    Her skull is enormous!

  21. James

    … at least compared to the rest of her

  22. yahoo

    shes pathetic but entertaining at the same time, ya know what i mean??
    check out her monster hands on the clutch. way better than Speidi though.

  23. Erin

    The interesting thing is, they pretty much only sell clear anti-perspirants across the pond. When I lived there I was begging for some white stick, no matter how crusty!

  24. Looking a little off paris!! try not to compete with winehouse over there!! Id meat paris! why not!

  25. Arden

    Jesus. What she NEEDS is a freakin’ hamburger or 12!!!

  26. Arden

    Jesus. What she NEEDS is a freakin’ hamburger or 12!!!

  27. Max Planck

    She needs to have a baby like the rest of the brainless bimbos we see here. Bulk up!

  28. Gio

    She is as interesting to hear about as Heidi and the douche Spencer or whatever his name is. Obviously a slow day.

  29. Tom

    The problem with Paris is that she has an extremely large frame. If she only ate a little more and gained 10 pounds, it wouldn’t look as bad.

    The supermodels who can pull off being so thin are tall, but have a tiny frame, so it looks good. Paris just doesn’t seem to understand that her body just doesn’t fit the bill for modeling, no matter how much she starves herself.

  30. Phelonious Punk

    She’s so high out of her mind that she doesn’t know her eyelashes are falling off.

  31. missy

    ugh i despise her

  32. p0nk

    thanks for sparing us the speidi pics, fish guy.

    is this the special olympics beauty pageant? wtf is with the tia tequila midget troll retard?

  33. Winston

    Poor man in drag looking Paris Herpes. She is going to get uglier over the years and age badly.

  34. john

    A heart felt thank you to the superficial writer for resisting the urge to post more heidi and spence pics. I’d much rather be entertained by the attacks on Hilton. They seem to come so much more from the heart. Although Paris is wearing thin these days also. May I suggest Brooke Hogan or Miley Cyrus as a muse for your scorn.

  35. BM

    #3 – are you sure you’re a brunette? you sound like a dumbass blonde. that is not corrie. yes i watch the show like you.

    #30- paris does not starve herself.. she just is naturally skinny its obvious. you being a guy naturally thinks skinny girls “starve” themselves but nope. only girls can tell if someone is naturally skinny versus anorexic. one way is that girls that starve themselves fluctuate in weight a lot as you can tell from photos throughout the years. paris has ALWAYS been skinny. get your facts straight and no i am not defending her as she does annoy me. yes she is very tall so being very skinny does not look as good but it is not easy to gain weight if you have a naturally high metabolism.

  36. the worst fake lashes ever…

  37. Jaee

    Thank you for resisting the urge to post on America’s Worst Douchebag Couple.

    Bless you.

  38. Monkey's Wood

    36. BM said – “yes i watch the show like you.”

    WTF ???
    AYSM ???

    You mean to tell me more than “one” fucktard actually watches Paris Hilton ???????

  39. MaryPoppins

    Her head is looking HUGE!!

  40. C

    No BM, there’s a real problem here. Paris has always been naturally thin, but there is a drastic difference in these photos from a month ago. Being someone who WAS anorexic, I recognize the signs. Her collarbone protrudes more than normal, she has loose skin at her armpits, and you can see ribs and chest bone. You can see every bone in her hands. Her hair has lost volume and is thin and dull; you can see her scalp. I don’t knock girls who are naturally thin, but if they are healthy, these signs are rare.

  41. Shoot Her

    No one needs to die, but hypothetically if anyone deserved it, it’d be her. But obama will be the one to go sooner than this… thing, sadly.

  42. krys

    this is what barbie dolls would look like if they were real, everything out of proportion.

  43. bitingontinfoil

    I don’t think it’s deoderant – I think it’s just the reflection of her sparkly dress.

    …either that or dried jizz… vote’s the jizz, baby.

  44. Fake!!

    This has been photoshopped. The shadows are all wrong. Didn’t she have a small part in the movie Never Back Down?

  45. Is she on the Modonna/kKaballah?F-Sarah Palen diet? She’s on her way to being plenty zombified, then she’ll have to fend off advances from Guy Ritchie. I forget, was this herpie circus considered remotely doable once? Wait, a friend of mine thought she was hot… he’s gay now, or did he hang himself in his closet? I forget, anyhoo… yeah… yuck.

    pew *horf* pew

  46. just me

    FUCK! What the fuck is up with this???

    The older they get the thinner they get. Don’t they really that lack of fat makes them look – older? So you look like Skelator and McCain. Instead of healthy and old.

    Christ when is this trend gonna end??? Jolie, Madonna, Paltrow, Blanchett = Gross!

  47. just me

    * realize


    There once was a woman named Paris
    Who was supposed to behave like an heiress
    She didn’t, of course
    But had a face like a horse
    And made pornos with jockeys to scare us

  49. Tom

    36, I did not say she is very tall. I said she has a huge frame. There is a difference. She is about 5’7. That really isn’t even tall – maybe for Americans and Chinese or something. There are 6’0 supermodels who have a much smaller frame than her, so they can be that skinny and not look disgusting.

    Nor do I believe for a second that she is naturally that underweight. She would have been hospitalized long ago for whatever sickness could possibly be causing such thinness b/c it would certainly be life-threatening. I believe she starves herself to look taller and because she thinks it will give her model proportions, which as stated, is impossible with her frame.

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