Paris Hilton scares the crap out of dogs

October 11th, 2006 // 86 Comments
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Comments (86)

  1. mbarkr | October 11, 2006 at 10:03 am

    First bitches!… and it’s only my second posting.

    I’m lonely.

    Reply
  2. londongal | October 11, 2006 at 10:06 am

    last pic- that is a pathetic way to hold a dog

    Reply
  3. saturnswirls | October 11, 2006 at 10:06 am

    Poor puppy! In the last one she looks like she’s going to shake him like a baby! Shaken Puppy Syndrome! She the new cruella DeVille!

    Reply
  4. jrzmommy | October 11, 2006 at 10:08 am

    I’d like to see her handle a Pit Bull like that, only instead of squirming away from her in fear the animal bites down one her face and gets lockjaw while it frantically claws away at her googlie eye.

    Reply
  5. BigJim | October 11, 2006 at 10:09 am

    Dogs have a highly acute sense of smell, which is why the poor mutt looks like a cheerleader about to be axe-murdered in a Friday the 13th movie.

    Oh, the horror!

    Seriously, that bitches cooter must smell like the entire Chinese Army took a dump in it, then jerked off in it, then set it on fire.

    Reply
  6. Italian Stallion | October 11, 2006 at 10:09 am

    Wait, which one is the dog again?

    Reply
  7. Malphesto | October 11, 2006 at 10:10 am

    Paris, wow, shes on this site 50% of the time without her what would the world be like, oh yeah now i remeber…it was a happier time and a much better place

    Reply
  8. BigJim | October 11, 2006 at 10:11 am

    Fucked up my possessive: “bitch’s”

    Reply
  9. RichPort | October 11, 2006 at 10:13 am

    That dog represents the horrified look on any penis within 100 feet of Porous.

    Reply
  10. commissioner | October 11, 2006 at 10:15 am

    jrz wrote “googlie”.

    Reply
  11. commissioner | October 11, 2006 at 10:16 am

    It’s the glasses. Ugly dog thinks she’s a killer bee.

    Reply
  12. jrzmommy | October 11, 2006 at 10:18 am

    hee hee googlie

    Reply
  13. DancingQueen | October 11, 2006 at 10:20 am

    Oh my God, they have the same eyes!!!! Separated at birth.

    Reply
  14. Brain Embolism | October 11, 2006 at 10:20 am

    I guess there were three posts featuring Nicole ‘Skeletor” Richie yesterday…
    Why not FUCKING three of the Parisite today.

    Dig deeper in to the news bin Mr (or Ms) Superfish.

    Superfish and Paris sittin’ in a tree…

    F-U-C-K-I-N-G…

    That’s all I’ve got.

    Reply
  15. Angry Ferret Jones | October 11, 2006 at 10:21 am

    Poor little guy. He can lick his nuts for a month and he still won’t be able to get the smell of Paris off of them.

    Is it just me, or is she trying to fuck him in that last pic? Dog fucker!!

    TCLTGooglie

    Reply
  16. RichPort | October 11, 2006 at 10:22 am

    After its starring role in Men In Black, this dog sure has had a serious fall from grace.

    Reply
  17. CelebSlam.com | October 11, 2006 at 10:22 am

    Are dogs immune to herpes?

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  18. commissioner | October 11, 2006 at 10:27 am

    Poor Paris can’t even get love from a dog.

    Reply
  19. Brain Embolism | October 11, 2006 at 10:36 am

    I’ve got it!

    Paris and Superfish sittin’ in a tree..

    F-U-C-K-I-N-G..

    First comes crabs..

    Then comes herpes..

    Then comes Superfish pushing up daisies.

    Reply
  20. caljenna | October 11, 2006 at 10:44 am

    Ok, on the one hand, I have a pug and they do NOT like to be held up high for some reason, that might be why the dog looks that way. On the other hand, put the damn dog down, bitch!

    Reply
  21. jrzmommy | October 11, 2006 at 10:48 am

    She’s squeezing it so hard it’s eyes are going all googlie!

    Reply
  22. InstantAsshat-AddFame | October 11, 2006 at 10:50 am

    Two bitches in one picture.

    Poor pug. Someone get that dog a Valium and a penicillin shot, STAT!

    Reply
  23. Ruby | October 11, 2006 at 10:52 am

    @16 LOL! It’s Frank the Dog in the nude.

    Reply
  24. Ruby | October 11, 2006 at 10:53 am

    with googlie eyes!

    Reply
  25. no one you know | October 11, 2006 at 10:57 am

    pug and a fug.

    Reply
  26. RichPort | October 11, 2006 at 11:02 am

    Six words: Give Elton John his glasses back

    Reply
  27. HolisticWisdomcom | October 11, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Word gets around in the dog world. The pug heard how she treated her chihuahua. They all fear her.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

    Reply
  28. Italian Stallion | October 11, 2006 at 11:16 am

    Here’s another picture of Paris dressed up….

    Reply
  29. RichPort | October 11, 2006 at 11:26 am

    Stallion – I can’t see that pic. I knew my browser was vigilant against viruses, I just didn’t know that included The Herp.

    (Thank you, I’m bowing at yet another gratuitous herpes joke… no stop, stop, you all are too kind, thank you…)

    Reply
  30. Angry Ferret Jones | October 11, 2006 at 11:27 am

    ****BREAKING NEWS****

    Fuck this no talent bitch!

    WHAM IS GETTING BACK TOGETHER!!!!

    Here’s the info: http://angry-ferret.blogspot.com/

    The gays Scooped you, Fish, you lazy fuck!

    Reply
  31. pinky_nip | October 11, 2006 at 11:37 am

    No shit, Paris scares all.

    When she walks into a drug store, even the Massengills and Tampax run and hide.

    Reply
  32. ponk | October 11, 2006 at 11:41 am

    poor dog knows he’s about to go up the kinkajou-orafice.

    hey fish, how about an update on Runaway Bride – Jennifer Wilborn ($500k and a ladder?! returning to the mothership?)

    Reply
  33. PunjabPete | October 11, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Paris is just pissed off that the dogs eyes are so straight….

    Cockeyed beatch…

    Reply
  34. Shaun | October 11, 2006 at 12:01 pm

    Both are dogs. Imagine that.

    http://www.digital-six.net

    Reply
  35. yardgraffiti | October 11, 2006 at 12:15 pm

    no love from every living creature in the world.

    Reply
  36. MultipleSpaceys | October 11, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    It amuses me sadly to observe that she is loaded with money (besides STDs) and yet she loads herself with cheap plastic. At least spend it on some good plastic and get that wonky eye fixed.

    Reply
  37. biatcho | October 11, 2006 at 12:33 pm

    This is what the poor dog looked like after she was done rubbing him down with vagina juice:

    http://www.huhny.de/media/upload/ugly-dog.jpg

    Reply
  38. HollyJ | October 11, 2006 at 1:09 pm

    What a stupid bitch! Put down the dog you puss-filled blister! She’s such an ignorant assclown that she doesn’t even know dogs don’t like to be suspended in mid-air, imbalanced, and dangling by the front legs! Fucking asshole!! (Yeah, what 20 said!!)

    There should be an International Assclown Law (IAL) that keeps Paris, specifically, from owning other living things. Even cacti. Seriously. UP WITH IAL

    The dog has severe bilateral exotrophism, which is the result of really bad breeding. You aren’t supposed to see hardly any sclera on these guys. You can see it all the way around the iris on this little guy, and it’s not just fear of herpes, people! That breeder needs to be euthanized before it makes more of these badly inbred little buggers. Poor little guy =( Where did she get it? A puppy mill in Eastern Europe? Fuck

    Reply
  39. pursang | October 11, 2006 at 1:14 pm

    In that second picture it looks like the pup is trying to reach up there and scratch open her carotid(sp) artery. Thankfully his little paw wouldn’t reach or else he’d be drenched in blood swimming with
    super-herpes. Granted the little guy would get a medal for saving the world from Paris Hilton but I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy (or Nichole Ritchie for that matter).

    Reply
  40. pursang | October 11, 2006 at 1:18 pm

    It just hit me…she learned to hold a dog by looking at pictures of Britney Spears holding the infant beachball Sean Preston. I just knew I saw that technique somewhere but obviously Herpes missed the photo’s where you almost drop the little shit on his head.

    Reply
  41. UNWASHEDMASSES | October 11, 2006 at 1:19 pm

    That dog looks like Jack Elam at a rectal exam. The real reason why Paris loves animals so much is they don’t threaten to sue after she gives them herpes.

    Reply
  42. commissioner | October 11, 2006 at 1:34 pm

    #37

    EVERYTIME I see that picture on my super-humongo monitor, I jump. Holy monkey! That is one ugly mother-lovin’ animal.

    Reply
  43. LilRach | October 11, 2006 at 1:35 pm

    Poor bloody dog! Notice how she just keeps smiling totally oblivious that the dog hates her even though it’s probably scratching the shit out of her!

    What the hell ever happened to Tinkerbell? That dog had more class than she does.

    Oh yeah and nice sunnies.

    Reply
  44. CCClub | October 11, 2006 at 1:37 pm

    AHHH this bitch makes me itch! She’s giving me fleas!

    Reply
  45. Ruby | October 11, 2006 at 1:44 pm

    @41 – Unwashed – LMFAO!!

    Reply
  46. bigponie | October 11, 2006 at 1:56 pm

    so this is what a dog fight looks like, so the question is how do you bet on the stronger dog?

    Reply
  47. frenchtoaststix | October 11, 2006 at 2:12 pm

    #41 Unwashed, you’ve made me dribble coffee on my keyboard AGAIN. “Jack Elam at a rectal exam.” Classic. I was thinking Marty Feldman but Elam’s better…

    I loathe people who carry around small dogs into places like stores, post offices, restaurants, etc.; do you see where I’m going with this? Dogs belong three places a) at home; b) at the vet’s office; c) in a daisy-filled fenced-in grassy safe place where they can romp and play (but not yip-yap, ’cause that’s annoying).

    Reply
  48. sonya | October 11, 2006 at 2:38 pm

    Is this like that scene in MIB where Will Smith thinks the freaky fug dog handler is the alien, but it’s actually the dog?

    Except in this case, Paris would actually be the alien.

    Reply
  49. ponk | October 11, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    LMAO @ “Jack Elam at a rectal exam”

    Reply
  50. redsoxrule | October 11, 2006 at 3:07 pm

    hey cory, you see anything coming up ahead of us?

    Reply

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