Paris Hilton mentions her new album in the upcoming Star and talks about how great it is, saying,
Paris Hilton says her album is hot
February 15th, 2006 // 81 Comments
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jugsgirl | February 15, 2006 at 2:06 pm
Paris is so cool. I can’t imagine life without hearing about her daily. What would the world be like without paris hilton?
HollyJ | February 15, 2006 at 2:06 pm
I can only think of ONE THING more disturbing that having to listen to Paris sing.
http://xotcho.free.fr/photos/idiot.jpg
PKClover | February 15, 2006 at 2:07 pm
Sadly, because it is her, the album will bomb no matter how great the music is. Like K-Feds. I know I’m not the only one who tapped my foot to Papazo! Had that been Kanye West, it would have reached #1.
LaydeeBug | February 15, 2006 at 2:08 pm
Mmmm, boogers.
She also thinks she’s beautiful, nice, smart, and well, beautiful, and she’s been wrong on all counts.
LaydeeBug | February 15, 2006 at 2:09 pm
OMFG HollyJ. Where did you find that picture? I took it years ago.
jugsgirl | February 15, 2006 at 2:10 pm
maybe paris and kfed will tour together this summer. that would be swell!
Tania | February 15, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Well her “album” may be hot by Paris Hilton standards. And we all know how high her standards are. In a nutshell, it’s gonna suck harder than she does. And wow is that hard.
Manderoni | February 15, 2006 at 2:14 pm
This year is going to be sooo great!!! So many wonderfully sucktastic things to look forward to!!! I can’t wait!! KFed and Paris releasing albums?? OMG it doesn’t get much better…
HollyJ – you’ve traumatized me for the rest of the day…HAHAHA!!!
Saucie | February 15, 2006 at 2:16 pm
The recent seizure of a storage unit has yielded the following sample of Paris’ prose. I smell a solid gold hit….or something
Val Kilmer is my man
I met him when I was in the can
Licky licky
It was a quickie
Now when I call
He says I’m icky
The End – Paris H.
megana | February 15, 2006 at 2:17 pm
good lord. does anyone remember “lets go bang” by j.love hewitt? this is sure to be a far more embarassing example of humanity.
LaydeeBug | February 15, 2006 at 2:23 pm
#10, thank GOD I never had the displeasure of hearing anything JLHewitt ever did.
Spindoc | February 15, 2006 at 2:32 pm
How would Paris know what good music is? She is always so drunk that I bet she still thinks it’s her 21st birthday. As for people trashing her CD because it’s her….sorry sweety, if you put out a good CD the reviews would go something like this “Paris Hiltons CD is Suprisingly good considering who she is..” or something like that. Trust me, if they trash your CD is for the same reason that people always trashes you….it sucks.
always answer b | February 15, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Although I understand that I am being very generous here, I can safely say that the number of people who have had sex with Paris Hilton is greater than the number that will buy her album.
PapaHotNuts | February 15, 2006 at 2:41 pm
Marlee Matlin said Paris’s album hurt her ears. And that’s sayin’ somethin’.
Jayvee | February 15, 2006 at 2:48 pm
Why does she even bother?
Will someone hit her over the head with some large blunt tool.
inspector11 | February 15, 2006 at 2:49 pm
Personally I’m really excited to see if my ears will get an STD.
bjpack | February 15, 2006 at 2:55 pm
It turns out that the whole PETA thing was a promotion for her cover of “You don’t bring me flours.”
stevie511 | February 15, 2006 at 2:59 pm
I’m not at all a fan of Paris Hilton (aside from my morbid fascination with her). But I’ve heard a couple of her songs (Screwed & Caught Up In The Rapture… I think she was just guest vocals on the latter) and she aint that bad. There are certainly worse singers; Madonna for instance. Now don’t get me wrong, I love Madonna, but girl has the range of a beer can.
tis GLAM | February 15, 2006 at 3:03 pm
“It
MortyFishbein | February 15, 2006 at 3:04 pm
This album will have a lot of slurping, heavy breathing and moans on it.
I hope her first single “Fuck Me on Tape” goes to number one.
tis GLAM | February 15, 2006 at 3:06 pm
#18
OH NO YOU DIDNT! noone can even touch Madonna. Every song she smacks down is a HIT. And her singings not A material but its way better than ALOT of these so-called singers.
she is my Goddess…(next to Angelina Jolie and Omahyra Mota)
richelle | February 15, 2006 at 3:10 pm
I just can’t imaging Paris’s voice, singing. It just doesn’t seem powerful enough, I can’t picture her even being able to project her voice.
I mean maybe she could sing like Hilary Duff, who talk-sings every song and barely raises her voice above three decibles. Like she’s talking, but in key with the song.
Maybe I should stop caring about this and get back to work.
Spindoc | February 15, 2006 at 3:11 pm
#21, Easy girl, even Madonna has said in interviews “I don’t have the best voice” You gonna argue with your hero?
#16 LMAO!!!!!
jugsgirl | February 15, 2006 at 3:11 pm
I cast my vote for ## 16 as the funniest post on this thread.
Vote 16 !
senin | February 15, 2006 at 3:14 pm
Maybe it’ll sound good if you imbibe as much as she does in a day or maybe not…
Bad_kitty_cat | February 15, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Ummmm… guess the promo will be really original. It will feature her… munching on her CD… while she washes a trailer… right?
Devil Is Chrome | February 15, 2006 at 3:24 pm
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Paris and K-Fed should get together for a duet!
When they release it, she can say “It’s Hot!” and he can say “Fire!”.
Hhmm… Fire, hot….omg, these two are operating solely with their lizard brains.
such_a_person | February 15, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Hey, how can she lose with her prize-winning lyrics?
http://www.lyricsdownload.com/paris-hilton-screwed-lyrics.html
pookiedoo | February 15, 2006 at 3:28 pm
#10, are you sure it wasn’t Paris who had an album called “Let’s Go Bang”? Oh wait, I’m confusing it with “Let’s Get Ass-Banged.” My bad!!
ESQ | February 15, 2006 at 3:28 pm
Oh let me guess…Paris is going to be somewhat naked in the video all the while she has an “accidental” nip slip again. I wonder who her male interest will be in the video, my guess K-Tard.
In response to #2 – disgusting picture, but next time label NSFW.
In response to comment #13 – well said.
Go Sip | February 15, 2006 at 3:32 pm
Because I thought the thread from #16 was so funny I looked it up on Web MD and guess what folks you can get herpees in your ears and in your throat. Def Vote 16 hands down funny.
amma | February 15, 2006 at 3:38 pm
…#16=hahahah…but #2, I am sooo beyond damaged for the rest of the day, my life…who knows?
!!!
Please you guys, if you check it out, I am warning you…save yourself.
ESQ | February 15, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Paris Hilton is the epitome of a worthless twat Period
HollyJ | February 15, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Oops.. my bad ESQ
HEY EVERYONE! The link in comment 2 is NSFW or kids or.. well, anyone sensitive …or anyone with eyeballs…
@16 LOL!! mi luv u lawn thyme
bigwhitekingzulu | February 15, 2006 at 4:02 pm
Stabbing self in ears as preemptive strike. Actually hearing her “music” would leave me no choice but to break out the ball mallet to provide a distraction (sort of like pinching yourself when falling asleep at the wheel).
Rab1501 | February 15, 2006 at 4:04 pm
i bet you it sells.
http://rab1501.blogspot.com/
richelle | February 15, 2006 at 4:09 pm
#16 hahahahah! Best post ever made on thesuperficial, EVER.
sadiembeagle | February 15, 2006 at 4:22 pm
How bizarre… Paris’s comments about her album sound identical to the comments by K-Fed and his album. And I bet they both suck really terribly bad!!!
LaydeeBug | February 15, 2006 at 4:27 pm
ESQ, you said twat (giggling)
Sheva | February 15, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Paris, if you’re sucking, I’m buying.
But only if you swallow.
cibby | February 15, 2006 at 5:16 pm
I’m not sure she’ll have time to promote her album. Not if she’s going to be Mother Teresa in that Bollywood film.
What if her album’s really good? My life would descend into chaos, as I struggled to find meaning.
maiira | February 15, 2006 at 5:20 pm
“People will trash [the still unnamed album] because it
LaydeeBug | February 15, 2006 at 5:20 pm
Well, I’m definitely intrigued. Look, if a chimp could learn sign language, then Paris can cut an album. Anything’s possible.
And don’t be fooled by her baby-girl talk. She has a normal woman’s voice, bordering on husky.
If she had any sense, she’s know that her normal voice is much more sexy.
Ewwww, did I just use sexy while describing Paris Hilton? OMG, I need a nap.
SMF121490 | February 15, 2006 at 5:31 pm
I am going to save so much money on CD’s this year. Thanks Kevin and Paris.
evelyn | February 15, 2006 at 6:03 pm
oh man.
i just downloaded her music.
its GOD awful.
popozao is exponentially better.
Oh Darling | February 15, 2006 at 6:08 pm
Personally, Im just glad no one has come to defend her yet. She has/does/will suck at anything that requires talent.
playahater101 | February 15, 2006 at 6:09 pm
We can all only hope that her and KFed decide to tour together. And hopefully fall in love. Then he’ll sump Brit for Paris. And she’ll dump him for Brit. And then the world will explode.
playahater101 | February 15, 2006 at 6:10 pm
*typo, should be DUMB not SUMP. What’s a SUMP anyways??
playahater101 | February 15, 2006 at 6:11 pm
*typo AGAIN, should be DUMP not DUMB. I gotta put this whiskey down!!!
HollyJ | February 15, 2006 at 6:15 pm
a sump is, appropriately enough, a hollow in which liquids collect … I think we can consider Paris and Brit BOTH to be sumps ..