reports Paris Hilton was released from jail early this morning after serving less than five days of her already reduced 23 day sentence (her original sentence was 45 days). She’s been fitted with an ankle bracelet and put under house arrest for the next 40 days. She was apparently released from jail due to medical reasons, although the LA County Sheriff’s department has refused to release details about the “medical issue” due to confidentiality. After the 40 days are up, the LA County Sheriff’s department says she will have “fulfilled her debt to society.”
Of course. We were fucking morons to think Paris might actually serve out her sentence. Tomorrow they’ll probably take off the ankle bracelet and issue a full apology. Then give her some sort of medal and make her President of the United States of America.
NOTE: Since when is being rich and famous considered a medical condition? Weird.
ROckstar_Devil | June 7, 2007 at 11:48 am
FIrst!!!
mrs.t | June 7, 2007 at 11:49 am
Lookout for the Versace “Paris” ankle bracelet Fall2007.
Morticia | June 7, 2007 at 11:49 am
Stupid spoiled whore.
mia | June 7, 2007 at 11:49 am
Knew it…
Angry Ferret Jones | June 7, 2007 at 11:49 am
THRID!
BigJim | June 7, 2007 at 11:49 am
Another whore-iffic example of the US justice system.
Matt | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
YAY!!!!!
filz | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
weird ass country.
12-STEP | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
This is such fucking bullshit!!! I am so sick and tired of the fucking rich being able to get away with anything they want. We all know that if it was any of us we’d be doing the whole 45 days. I am so livid it’s not even funny! Liberty and justice for all MY ASS!!!
Angry Ferret Jones | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
Really, Fish? She’s out?
Welcome to ‘three hours ago.’ Also in Fish news: OJ Simpson may have killed his ex-wife. Watch tomorrow’s posts for more info.
Tits_McGhee | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
Yeah, herpes can really take over an entire species if you don’t tame the wild beast.
yeah | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
ooooh now where are the silverman haters? come defend your precious paris. she was probably spreading her gonorrhea juices all over so they let her go.
Sunflower | June 7, 2007 at 11:50 am
A medical problem?! Oh, sure it was! What a joke! Funny how this wasn’t mentioned BEFORE she went to jail. Hmm.. why doesn’t EVERY person in jail use this excuse?
Ah, yes. God Bless the litigious nation of America and the scum lawyers who help people like Paris Hilton. No, this wasn’t TOOO planned!
coach_d | June 7, 2007 at 11:51 am
No worry… she will fuck up again, and soon.
flamz | June 7, 2007 at 11:51 am
weird-ass country.
mia | June 7, 2007 at 11:51 am
She should have been sentenced to be photographed in humiliating situations.
RichPort | June 7, 2007 at 11:51 am
I guess Nello’s doesn’t deliver $1000 kobe steaks to the joint. Naturally, I blame the fucking French.
CursedClem | June 7, 2007 at 11:51 am
Medical reasons? Yea, she is a cunt. She should at least be on community service, cleaning streets in full view.
ph7 | June 7, 2007 at 11:52 am
So much for that letter to her ‘fans’ saying she wanted to prove she could serve her time like anyone else.
Three days in, she having a breakdown, calls in her psychiatrist and lawyer, who give a doctors note to please excuse Paris, she finds jail unpleasant.
ROckstar_Devil | June 7, 2007 at 11:52 am
yeah i think, very soon, ankle bracelets are gonna be the new craze among stupid celebs like paris, lindsay, and all those other dumb shits. actually, thinking of it, i might get one as well :D. just in case my gf turns into a lunatic like paris, and tries to run me over :)
ParisisaHO | June 7, 2007 at 11:53 am
Wtf? Fuck paris and her bullshit. I normally never comment but if they didn’t intend on keeping her in there the full time, why even fucking sentence her to the full time? I’m 90% sure this was another media stunt to get her to look like the “good girl” again. Fucking bitch.
Jirwen | June 7, 2007 at 11:53 am
It doesn’t matter, the fact that the whole country hates her right now for being a stupid spoiled bitch (not that she wasn’t before) is punishment enough for this attention whore please love me, like me,… cunt.
At every party she attends people are gonna talk about her and hate her up front… hehe if judicial justice is not served, then divine justice will have to do.
bungoone | June 7, 2007 at 11:53 am
well, there could have been an STD epidemic people. it’s the safe thing to do.
hotyute | June 7, 2007 at 11:53 am
she didn’t even get the plunger stuck up her bum!!!
Superevil | June 7, 2007 at 11:54 am
Are you serious? I hope somebody kills this bitch. So much for being treated “just like everyone else”
The only thing I can hope for is she violates this and her skank ass gets thrown right back in.
Yea flamz we get it now fuck off.
Spindoc | June 7, 2007 at 11:54 am
Somebody please enlighten me…
Which medical problem is it that lets you go out every night to clubs, drinking and partying until 5am?
Angry Ferret Jones | June 7, 2007 at 11:54 am
She is dead to me.
Unless she wants to blow me. But I’ll only let her do it once. OK, twice.
Paris – call me. Seriously.
hotyute | June 7, 2007 at 11:54 am
she didn’t even get plunger violated!!! It’s a sad, sad day indeed.
haroof | June 7, 2007 at 11:54 am
So damn pathetic.
I knew she’d never do her time.
hotyute | June 7, 2007 at 11:56 am
sigs again, she really didn’t get the plunger…I am really realy sad people.
Drunkman | June 7, 2007 at 11:56 am
There really is no justice. It’s gonna be sooooo hard serving out her sentence in a 10,000 square foot house!!! What a fucking whore. At least this will destroy all the sympathy created by Silverman’s joke.
Poroleishon | June 7, 2007 at 11:56 am
Already???? mmmm so much for the legal system in the United States huh?
NoBullet | June 7, 2007 at 11:56 am
Boo-urns
Chris Brennan | June 7, 2007 at 11:57 am
Does anyone have Paris’ time of birth???
Sunflower | June 7, 2007 at 11:57 am
#14, yes she probably will, but unfortunately, she’ll get away with it just like she did with this. Gee… 45 days in jail or in her cushy, LA mansion with servants, chefs, etc.? Hmm… REAL tough decision there. If any ONE of us responding got caught driving on a suspended license we’d be in the cell, not in our house with family and friends.
sweetnsnooty | June 7, 2007 at 11:59 am
piss on her
Elle Kay | June 7, 2007 at 11:59 am
Oh. My. God.
If i hear them say that she was in for 5 days one more time, i’m going to jab something into an eye. Sunday night to Extreamly early thursday morning does not 5 days make, you ignorant slut. I hope her medical condition is that she’s got aids, cancer and a brain tumor that will all kill her before the end of this sentence… is she dead yet. Dumb Cunt!
All Hail Sarah Silverman!!
www.voteyoda.com | June 7, 2007 at 11:59 am
Maybe fish sticks and spam and bologna sandwiches are not to her liking.
Kevin
Paul Bartnek | June 7, 2007 at 12:00 pm
like we knew this wouldn’t happen?? stupid fucking spoiled whore
Two Utes | June 7, 2007 at 12:00 pm
now everyone will hate this bitch even more
Lou | June 7, 2007 at 12:01 pm
Whoa WTF!!! The Center of Disease Control was about to announce the herpes spread went down after a couple of days. Put Paris back in JAIL you fools!!!!!!!
YouRang | June 7, 2007 at 12:02 pm
Maybe God will do the right thing and have her run over by a drunk driver like 4 or 500 times.
Aerialgreen | June 7, 2007 at 12:03 pm
Fuck it, the bitch is out of jail (you can practically check it out anywhere you get your online news).
A glorified upset stomach got her out? wow I bet the word has been spread around other detention centers for a massive diarrhea bail-out strategy.
copyofblueboy | June 7, 2007 at 12:04 pm
They let her out because they didn’t want the other prisoners to get herpes.
Bitch is made of teflon
noooo | June 7, 2007 at 12:04 pm
REALLY?
We totally didn’t know anything about that ….
thanks for the hours late, I mean, breaking news.
imanelectriccar | June 7, 2007 at 12:04 pm
Stupid Spoiled WHORE.
I’m betting her “medical reason” was her known Herpes outbreaks and the prison simply could not keep up with her strict Valtrex regimin.
tatianalensky | June 7, 2007 at 12:05 pm
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahah
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaa
funny.
no, wait.
sad.
no wait.
cunt.
yes. thats the word I was looking for.
Pekpek | June 7, 2007 at 12:05 pm
it’s just Paris. big deal. you people just want someone rich to suffer regardless. that’s why you haters are here every single day. crime or no crime, you just wish ill will on anybody with more cash than yourself. get a life!
ksenia | June 7, 2007 at 12:05 pm
Can’t stop laughing…!
climber | June 7, 2007 at 12:06 pm
released home for a medical problem? it’d be one thing if she was released to a hospital.
if she’s healthy enough to sit at home, she’s healthy enough to sit in jail. wtf….