So apparently Paris Hilton’s medical condition was purely psychological and she was released from prison because she was in danger of having a nervous breakdown. TMZ reports:
Psychiatrist Charles Sophy visited Hilton in jail yesterday and the day before. We’re told after Sophy’s visit yesterday, word was passed to the Sheriff that Hilton’s mental state was fragile and she was at risk. The reason for releasing her had nothing to do with a rash or other physical issues. It was purely in her head.
So the big medical reason that got Paris Hilton released was that she wasn’t happy in prison. Which, I always thought, was sort of the whole point. Was she expecting to ride on unicorns and dance under waterfalls? It’s fucking prison. I’m pretty sure the inmates who get daily anal rapings are pretty upset too, but nobody’s letting them go home. The moral of the story is: if you’re ever put in prison just put on a frowny face and they’ll let you go. Oh, and make sure you’re Paris Hilton. That last part’s pretty important.
HoboChic | June 7, 2007 at 1:19 pm
What? Jail is uplifting. One only need watch Shawshank Redemption to know that.
15piecesofflare | June 7, 2007 at 1:19 pm
tried?
Master WooWoo | June 7, 2007 at 1:19 pm
FIRST, YEAH!!!!!!!
Nahemahl | June 7, 2007 at 1:19 pm
there is no justice in this country whatsoever.
HoboChic | June 7, 2007 at 1:20 pm
oh, and btw, i only posted that to ruin the whole you-know-what game. i’m a real buzz kill.
15piecesofflare | June 7, 2007 at 1:21 pm
Is that spooge on her glasses?
ROckstar_Devil | June 7, 2007 at 1:21 pm
isnt there mental hospital for such kinda people? especially ones, who are to be removed from prison for such a reason
annabella414 | June 7, 2007 at 1:21 pm
LOL- Hobochic…. right on!
woodhorse | June 7, 2007 at 1:21 pm
What about MY psychological problems that resulted from her early release? No, I don’t have any money. OK, FINE, fuck you then.
Sharktattoo | June 7, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Why can’t she be run over by a bus or something?
gina | June 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
If is was mental then they should have moved her to a psycho ward not released which was specifically AGAINST the judges orders!!
http://www.innerdrama.com/
tinkerbelle | June 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
they should do a study on her brain. while she’s alive.
Nahemahl | June 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I thought for sure her medical condition was cock withdrawal.
And by cock, I mean coke -
Or both, whichever you fancy…
Bern | June 7, 2007 at 1:23 pm
I faked a seizure to get out of Orleans Parish Central lockup one time — there’s no shame in any stunt that gets one out from behind bars.
Seriously.
You trying being confined in a room with a speedball-addicted drifter for 8 hours … because that is exactly what I do every night after work .. also, jail kinda sucks.
whitegold | June 7, 2007 at 1:25 pm
What a fucking joke!!! Do you think anyone is happy in jail? Don’t you think that most everyone in their is on the verge of a breakdown? Isn’t that practically the point, to push people to the breaking point to set them straight. Isn’t that what they actually do in solitary confinement, try to get you close to snapping.
But Paris isn’t happy in jail, after only a few days, and they let her out cuz she doesn’t like it in there. So if this is the way the justice system works, shouldn’t every single prisoner in jail be allowed out for similar mental health issues.
This tells me a few things: (a) The legal system is a joke in the way it treats celebrities differently than everyone else; (b) Paris is a fucking pussy. She was alreay being put in a special needs cell, much more comfortable and relaxing than other cells. And all she had to do was chill out for 23 days, read some books, work out, sleep, eat, and get her 1 hour a day to walk in the yard, watch tv, make phone calls. And she couldn’t put up with that without this BS claim of almost having a breakdown. Pathetic!
iburl | June 7, 2007 at 1:25 pm
You have to act REALLY sad and whiney, it also helps if you can be skinny, blonde, rich and give blowjobs to the jail psychiatrist.
Randle Patrick McMurphy | June 7, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Good for her! I have only admiration for anybody who can successfully fake a mental illness to get out of punishment. Way to go, Paris!
I bet she’s happy now! Probably reading this very site and laughing hysterically.
Willy | June 7, 2007 at 1:26 pm
Well, I’m okay with it, as long as they keep Joe Francis in jail.
Nahemahl | June 7, 2007 at 1:27 pm
I guess her prison memoir is gonna be a million dollar pamphlet deal now.
kidzooo | June 7, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Often, when people refer to having a nervous breakdown, they’re describing severe depression. Signs and symptoms of severe depression include:
* Agitation or restlessness
* Difficulty or inability to stop crying
* Sleeping difficulties
* Dramatic appetite changes
* Indecision”
Those sound like pretty damn normal reactions to being put in prison. But she didn’t even have a nervous breakdown, she was just in danger of having one.
Kamiki | June 7, 2007 at 1:28 pm
She is still a wonky eyed, hook nosed whore whose misfortune everyone laughed at at MTV awards, which was just a joyous occasion.
She is a low life cum filled whore, no amount of money in her bank balance can alter that.
kidzooo | June 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
And I knew it was bullshitt when Paris said this before going to jail:
“I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence.”
dashofsunshine | June 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
you have GOT to be shitting me. she was only in there two days!!! what the hell…did they expect it to be a cakewalk for her?? its prison!! she’s paris hilton!! she’s used to people practically wiping her own ass for her…gahhhh
ER | June 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Another site has pics of her house and it’s fug! Lucite furniture and a bed and dresser covered in mirrors. That would be torture to me!
woodhorse | June 7, 2007 at 1:29 pm
I take it from the Triumphant Grin and Huge Yellow Hat that her psychiatrist suddenly cured her. Well, he’ll be rich now.
woodhorse | June 7, 2007 at 1:30 pm
and her little dog, too.
iburl | June 7, 2007 at 1:30 pm
Remember, she has to be confined to her home for 40 days! you try living in a gigantic air-conditioned mansion with all the best audio/video/computer equipment available in the world, millions of dollars and the entire spectrum of L.A. food delivery available to you. Poor thing.
woodhorse | June 7, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Thank you #21, but that’s not enough to make me feel better. Nice of you to try, though.
hollyj | June 7, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Shawskank Redemption
Spindoc | June 7, 2007 at 1:34 pm
So she was released because JAIL WASN”T FUN?!?!?!?!?
Funny, I thought Jail was supposed to be unplesant.
John | June 7, 2007 at 1:35 pm
Yea jail sucks and people would use any excuse to get out of it but thats not the point, whats the world comming to.. people who can walk in and out of jails as they like? Some areas of America are so corrupt, i’m so glad my country isnt like this.
For all you people who are supporting that paris shouldnt be in jail etc should be ashamed of yourselves… if they let one person do it they have to let another, and then another, and soon there will b murderers, manslaughterers, thieves, h-addicts, junkies… all sorts of criminals walking in and out of jail lol
some of americas laws are so funny its rediculous, like that judge charging the korean dry cleaners for 60 million, and now this hahahah this is what happends when white people have power
meghan | June 7, 2007 at 1:38 pm
You know who I feel bad for? Paris’s Zoo of animals at her home. Could you imagine being locked up with her for 40 days?
And since when did she already spend 5 days of her 45 day sentence?
veromango | June 7, 2007 at 1:38 pm
Hmmm… so next year when I’m driving drunk in Cali and accidentally run her pancake ass over, then I can cry and whine and make it seem like I’m having a nervous breakdown in order to get sent home. Yay for the justice system!!!
flavio | June 7, 2007 at 1:39 pm
#13 – i think she is used to regular suppositories of coke covered cocks. its a hard habit to break.
twostep | June 7, 2007 at 1:39 pm
it’s bullshit, I think she should accidentally get hit by a car and suffer. She did the crime, she should do the time. What the hell are there laws for?!?!?! Why do celebs get treated differently than everyone else. This is just ludicrous. Maybe she did the warden and the governor of the state, and the doctor!
Jenn | June 7, 2007 at 1:41 pm
I really do like reading your site for time to time, but would you do me one favor and please don’t stop taking Jesus’ name in vain your rantings. I hope you have a nice day.
Thank you,
Jennifer
Angry Ferret Jones | June 7, 2007 at 1:41 pm
I killed a guy in Reno just to watch him die. But then they had to let me out once I found out that Greg, the Yellow Wiggle, was leaving.
I couldn’t handle it.
Spindoc | June 7, 2007 at 1:41 pm
On the bright side, now instead of us all calling her a vacuous herpes riddled idiotic skank we can call her a….
CRAZY vacuous herpes riddled idiotic skank.
Doomhammer | June 7, 2007 at 1:41 pm
Its called WITHDRAWLS people. No drugs for two days after binging for years? She was probably about to die…..
Angry Ferret Jones | June 7, 2007 at 1:45 pm
Paris, Martha Stewart thinks you are a weak little bitch. And when Martha thinks you are a little bitch, trust me, you ARE a little bitch.
Martha is fucking hard core, and I would love to watch her shank you.
Kevinpalooza | June 7, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Mental condition = Lifelong retardation &…
HERPES OUTBREAK HERPES OUTBREAK HERPES OUTBREAK
ihateparis | June 7, 2007 at 1:47 pm
god damn i hate that bitch. gets off because of who she is. probably paid her way out
Jesus Fucking Christ | June 7, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Jenn – sorry, it won’t ever happen again.
Paris Hilton | June 7, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Ha
Paris Hilton | June 7, 2007 at 1:49 pm
HaHa
Paris Hilton | June 7, 2007 at 1:49 pm
HaHaHa
Paris Hilton | June 7, 2007 at 1:49 pm
HaHaHaHa
melodiaD | June 7, 2007 at 1:50 pm
The judicial system in this country is a total waste! This is a joke… why even pay taxes?
what a slap on the face of all the citizens that live by the law… wtf.
bungoone | June 7, 2007 at 1:50 pm
36, that really cracked me up. i’m in tears, really.
Voz | June 7, 2007 at 1:50 pm
Having read up on Paris last week (it was a slow afternoon), I actually do believe that she’s borderline crazy, mostly due to her mother (all the drugs can’t have helped). Not that I’m implying that she’s not responsible for her own actions, but I wouldn’t be surprised to see her pull a Britney sooner or later.