Paris Hilton rebounds with Cristiano Ronaldo

Just 24 hours after breaking up with Doug Reinhardt, Paris Hilton continues her quest to unleash an itchy apocalypse upon the world by hooking up with Portuguese soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo last night. The Sun reports:

“She was clearly flying under the radar with her sister. She had a couple of cocktails and she was fiddling with her phone throughout the entire meal.”
The pair then headed to MyHouse at 11.20pm and Paris made a beeline for Ronaldo’s table. The Portuguese star left the club with Paris at 3am and drove to Nicky’s pad in West Hollywood. He was spotted leaving at 5am, sporting trademark grin.

I’m going to have to call bullshit on this story because here’s topless photos from last August of Ronaldo’s ex Nereida Gallardo who is an insane calibre of woman. Hooking up with Paris would be like going from Megan Fox to sticking your penis in a blender that can talk and has a lazy eye. Who does that?