Paris Hilton probably has herpes

March 9th, 2006 // 88 Comments

paris-drunk.JPGIf you happened to just scan over the E! Online story about Paris Hilton’s latest restraining order, you might have missed this particularly interesting tidbit:

Quintana testified last month that his relationship with Hilton turned nasty after she overheard him informing her beau, Stavros Niarchos, that she might have a sexually transmitted disease.

“I wanted him to be aware of it–that she had herpes. To make sure he didn’t catch anything. He informed me that he was [aware],” Quintana said.

He said Hilton interrupted his conversation with Niarchos and became “furious.”

“She said, ‘This is between the three of us; if this gets out you’re a f—ing dead man,’” Quintana said. He claimed that after the exchange, he began receiving suspicious phone calls and started to believe his life was in “imminent danger.”

So, if you happen to find yourselves on the dance floor with the heiress and she invites you back to her hotel room to participate in some “carnal loving” (the actual words she’ll use), ask yourself this: Is a night with Paris worth a lifelong itch in your groin? Be careful out there, boys and girls. And raccoons. And dogs. And every other living thing that Paris Hilton would probably have sex with.



  1. Binky

    In other news today – the sky is blue.

  2. MP$40

    Finallly someone else realized this other than myself. I first read what Quintana said when his testimony first came out and it didn’t dawn on me until I read it again and I thought, wow….she has herpes and no one knows about it. I was surprised it took this long for people to catch on. Yuck…she’s so gross and over exposed.

  3. FRIDA


  4. playahater101

    HaHa! Now everyone knows she has herpes. And I’m sure no one is really surprised. It’s nice to know she will be plagued with blisters on her crotch for the rest of her life.

  5. Craig & "em"

    I think this story would have been more accurate if the headline was…”Herpes Probably Has Paris Hilton”

    The Herpes was quoted saying…”I’m really scared…how much longer do I have to live?”

  6. playahater101

    I bet there’s a whole bunch of people she’s slept with freaking out right now. Maybe that’s the reason that designer gave her the clothes she modeled. Tainted clothes. Maybe she should start to put some panties on under her skirts. I could go on all day long with this one.

  7. Wombat

    Bloody hell, tell us something a little more earth shattering about this pea-brain blonde like…NEWS FLASH…Paris Hilton to graduate from Harvard with degree in quantum physics. Now that would shock the shit out of the rest of the world.

  8. tits_on_snack

    I feel sorry for the poor little herpes virus.

  9. Tania

    That picture that was posted on here a while back where she was wearing underwear (the one where she peed with all the guys circled around her) makes sense now! She must have been having a flare up (is that what they call it when it’s not dormant?) She only goes commando now when it’s not flaring up!

    Ha Ha this dirty bitch gets what she deserves!!! I’ve never been so happy to hear that someone has herpes!!!

  10. jstar

    I like that Paris’ rep denied the allegations of herpes and drug problems but let the alcohol problem and “erratic behavior” claims slide.

  11. bella1218

    #5…perfect. haha!

  12. Astriastar

    How about the post from December where she was digging in her swimsuit bottoms at the beach? Now the puzzle pieces are starting to come together….

  13. playahater101

    This is the rest of the story

    Quintana further alleged Hilton “has a drug and alcohol problem, some rather shady associates and is known for erratic behavior.”

    Hilton spokesman Elliot Mintz denied Quintana’s allegations, telling Court TV: “She doesn’t have herpes. She doesn’t have a drug problem,” and claiming Quintana was simply trying to humiliate his client in order to gain media attention.

    Undaunted, Quintana called the restraining order a “victory for the little guy.”

    With the matter resolved to both parties’ apparent satisfaction, Hilton’s legal team can turn its attention to the next court date on her calendar.

    He also let the “shady associates” comment go, too. She has herpes. Anyone can guess that.

  14. Escribo

    Herpes…This is like saying Richard Simmons is gay.

  15. Hey, I heard that Tara Reid likes to Drink.

  16. Sheva

    Well I guess that should put the lid back on all those vicious Paris is a ho comments.

    Okay, maybe not. Ho it up Paris, ho it up. Just keep that critter off me.

    Before or after Rick Solomon? Hmmm

  17. julema

    She’s lucky not having HIV.
    And there’s surely a lot of stars who got the same disease!

  18. Georgia

    Like everyone else I assume Paris, Tara Reid, Lindsay Hohan, Kimberly Stewart, and the Olsen Twins are all living sacks of disease.

  19. #5. Damn, that has to win the award for best comment of the week.

  20. boredatwurk

    I can’t stop laughing! You people are so clever!

    In other news today – the sky is blue.
    I think this story would have been more accurate if the headline was…”Herpes Probably Has Paris Hilton”
    The Herpes was quoted saying…”I’m really scared…how much longer do I have to live?”

    actually made me laugh out loud.

  21. SuperSpence

    People who don’t think this story is shocking are idiots. Of course this story is shocking. One of the most shocking stories in the last century or so. How could any of us suspect, even for a moment, that Paris Hilton has only one sexually transmitted disease?

  22. badattitood

    Paris and her herpes are kinda old news, but…..To whoever the guy is that gave her herpes, I would like to say “well done and thank you very much, sir”. You may have herpes and are most likely an unspeakable man-whore but you have given a great gift to a Parisite-weary public. We all owe this guy a beer.

  23. lohans8ball

    Thats ALL she has???

  24. It probably burns her when the crabs nibble at the herpes sores.

  25. cissysanders

    seriously – I applaud the guy for warning her greasy beau of her horrific disease, (not to mention making it official public knowledge) however, if he is going to go as far as to have a restraining order against her, he should definitely take her out of his photo album – must less be it the FIRST picture on there!

  26. lohans8ball

    I bet the guy who gave her herpes is the skinny dude that shot that Buffalo 69 movie or whatever. It was the guy who was selling his sperm online. Vincent Gallo thats his name I think. He shot a clip of Paris spinning around on a stool or something in her underwear and Im pretty sure thats when the herpes attacked her vagina. It couldve been him or the other 78 guys that sprayed her down with their man seed. Yeah I think Vincent Gallo was the cleanest out of all of them actually.. so yeah nevermind about him. I need to continue my research on the other 78..

  27. Miss Skyline

    Can we get some new news please? I wouldn’t be surprised if she had AIDS at this point, sadly.

  28. azcoyote

    Now that this is public knowledge, anyone want to bet with me when this bitch kills herself?

    Not like she can just go and get a new nose and cheeks and all will be well in Hilton Rich Bitch La-La Land. (you should see the before shots)

    Herpes. The gift that keeps on giving….

    I predict, a pill overdose in under 90 days… But hey, I am morbid like that when it comes to skanky billionair daughters…

    Then again, having her clam all over the internet never embarrased her so maybe she is so rich she is above being humilliated by a non-curable STD…

  29. missscoobie

    Paris has gono sphly herpal aids.
    And fleas.
    My dog gave them to her. I had the dog put down.

  30. maggixial

    her cooch is probably numb if she can’t even feel that camel toe.

  31. tess

    You don’t have to be a psychic to guess that this ho carries some life-threatening STD’s inside her pants. I pity those fools who dare to date her….

  32. Jerk616

    Why do all you people hate sherpas?

  33. Captain Awesome

    “We call it The Three Stooges Syndrome”

    Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!

  34. azcoyote

    #34 – LOL
    Damn sherpas carrying those heavy STDs all up and down Mt. Everest… The nerve. I don’t thing Tinsing Norgay would have the balls to jam his sherpa rod into Hilton. And that man has seen many a crevasse…

    Anwyay, I only hate Sharpeis with Herpes..
    Sherpeis… Maybe that is what Hasselhof has? Those aren’t dogs. They are Sherpeis growing out of his junk.

  35. BarbadoSlim

    Ah, nasty lady herpes, the gift that keeps on givin’.

    Oh and #30, I’ll take that bet, put me down for within the next nine months, car accident while coked up with Lindsay Lohan both decapitated as they slam and slip under a Kenworth semi truck transporting a full load of codfish on the PCH.

  36. speechless

    #26— i broke out in laughter and my skin was crawling at the same time… i think we better watch out how much we read about PH ’cause what she’s got may be transmitted by computer screens..

  37. azcoyote

    Damn, Slim. You are good! I think you may have a good track with that one…

    Anyone else care to take a stab at how Paris Hilton kicks the bucket? I must Nostradomus of the PH death-fest…

    In that Nostradomus kind of way here are some Paris Hilton anagrams that seem to tell the future (or present)..

    Ha! I list porn – Video Anyone?
    Thin! Or I slap – Ritchie vs. Hilton in thinfest.
    Rail thin p.o.s – Less surface area for nasty bumps…
    A hip nostril – Coke Habit Anyone?
    ROI shit plan – Couldn’t be worth the time…
    Nail this pro – Her best promo ad…
    I sit on Ralph – How she got herpes?
    Loin pit rash – What Ralph told her those bumps were.

  38. BoardBetty

    Paris having herpes isn’t shocking in the least especially considering that at least 1 out of 4 people have it.

    What’s shocking is that this information hasn’t come out sooner. Geez, does she make every lover sign non-disclosure agreements?

  39. Paris Hilton has an STD? Next, you’re going to tell me that the earth is round.

  40. Grphdesi23


  41. QuiQuiLove

    She’s a walking petri dish-I’m sure CSI would have a field day trying to figure out the cause of death

  42. hafaball

    Everything living? Try everything animate and inanimate object….she raped my rocking chair….and that was my grandma’s rocking chair..

  43. Pez_D_Spencer

    Christ, now she’s gonna be pitching Valtrex.

  44. Kimmie

    Gack……. what a tramp. Some how or another, I bet she ends up broke. Stealing from her would be the best thing that could happen to her money.

    I wonder how many men, women, cats, dogs and sheep are scratching themselves and and thinking about their 20 minutes in the Hilton Motel?

  45. Hoing…it’s not just a job, it’s a way of life.

  46. gogoboots

    Damn she just confirmed it to everyone in the know: Paris has herpes. She must not leave her room when she has a herpes attack. She shouldn’t feel too bad though, everyone has a little herpes. It comes with being human sluts.

  47. VinSlayer

    #45 – Please do not give this attention starved slut any ideas. If she does an ad for Valtrex it’s all your fault. You know she couldn’t have been smart enough to think of doing the ad on her own. For shame….

  48. Kelly

    She is as fake platic as she has herpess.

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