Paris Hilton pleads no contest

January 22nd, 2007 // 69 Comments

  1. mobilus

    First! (in line for a belly rub)

  2. BarbadoSlim

    No hard time?

    Well I guess it’s back to whoring and spreading disease then.

  3. bigsteamyone

    nice nips , looks like she has a gut too ! , could she be knocked up ?

  4. Mason


  5. mrs.t

    She thought she was agreeing not to participate in a celibacy contest.

  6. Breezy

    I wouldn’t call that a gut, but if she’s gonna wear a dress that tight, she needs to suck it in a little!

  7. BarbadoSlim

    Ugh, that gut is the result of swallowing many a gallon of cum.

  8. LL

    I agree with #6, or maybe she just needs it in a darker color (though that one is sorta flattering) that doesn’t show every bulge, whether large or small. She sorta looks like a preppy hooker. Obvious nips, obviously no underwear, but everything’s covered. I guess that’s as close as she gets to dressing normally.

  9. Tracy

    See, just BEING AROUND Britney makes you pregnant. She’s dangerous, man, I tell ya!

  10. Doodlebug

    Actually, isn’t anyone else relieved to see that even Paris Hilton has a bit of tummy fat?

  11. wedgeone

    Wrong, Fish!! Dead WRONG!

    She pled no contest to “alcohol related reckless driving, a reduction of an original charge of driving under the influence.”
    It’s not a DUI. That’s why she got no jail time.

    Have faith, fellow Fishers. She make another mistake and will get caught, and the probation violation will mean extra time behind bars, where she’ll die from public underexposure. And we’ll all rejoice!!

  12. wedgeone

    She’ll … not “she”. Sorry for the error.

  13. wedgeone

    And is it just me, or does the guy reaching for her arm look like a serial rapist or something worse.

    “Here, honey, look what I can do with my scarf ….”

  14. schack

    i don’t think she’s pregnant; i think there’s not enough cocaine in the world to keep her metabolism running at warp-speed forever. eventually you build a tolerance, and eventually, unless you take more and more, you will gain the weight you lost.

  15. Paris pleads no contest to being a monkey-ass.

    naomi campbell’s daffy image-rehab plan

  16. BarbadoSlim

    @12 …I eagerly await the day she’s placed in LA County lock-up, I’m hoping she’ll get beat down by a gang of cholas within minutes of her arrival.

    It’ll be like Caged Heat only with a lot more herpes.

  17. wedgeone

    Making her some bull dyke’s bitch won’t work. She’d enjoy that too much, plus the bull dyke will contract every venerial disease running through her pustulant flesh, starting an epidemic throughout the prison system. And the taxpayers will have to foot the bill for the futile treatment program.

    String her up by her weave!!

  18. Courtney

    Seriously though, when is someone going to explain to me why she’s even mildly interesting?

  19. TJH

    If it weren’t for her daddy’s money she’d be bussing tables at a Morrison’s Cafeteria.

  20. Sheva

    Nice color and ever the attention whore, she still preems for the camera.

    How far along is she and how many guys are lined up as suspects in knocking her up?

  21. Lowlands

    Look,she bought my Camry.Great car for driving incognito drunk around.Hey sista have you tried those fabulous backseats already?

  22. whackjob

    hey, wait a minute, I bussed tables at a Morrison’s cafeteria and turned out ok, except maybe for the three DUIs, two failed marriages, that whole misunderstanding leading to the restraining orders, repossession of my trailer from the park, and an intense inability to let go of my stylish mullet…


  23. whackjob

    say, how many times do you think she’s heard the words (as the bone sinks to the hilt) “whose little whore are you? That’s right, you’re daddy’s little whore. Look at you, look at you…”

  24. Lowlands

    (21)It’s sistah.Ok troll?

  25. There’s a nipple in her pocket!

  26. krisdylee

    Just another vapid, self-indulgent twat that I would like to kick in the esophagus.

  27. Was she switched at birth? The lack of class just never stops.

  28. Denimpetal

    oh God, wierdly I never thought I could get bored of Paris Hilton. Whilst despising her is a lot of fun, reading this bullshit every day makes me wanna shoot her.
    The reason I’m up so late is my chronic insomnia, and I finally think I’ve found a cure. I will leave a trail of coke (hansel and gretel style) leading to my house. I will tell her she can have more if she reads (ha ha) her book to me.
    Problem solved


    I think that’s water-weight, girl’s probably got her period.

  30. anothershityear

    i like the little belly.
    it looks womanly.

  31. tundrababe

    It’s abnormal for a woman to have a concave stomach. She looks fine.

  32. No, TH, she’s just happy to see you. Actually she’s just happy to be momentarily erect.

  33. Uh, why are people still following Paris?? I can think of several others to follow, but why her?

    And why are all these stories on this site still about Paris? I’m just sayin’…

  34. kathleen170

    Just because she’s not anorexic doesn’t mean she’s fat or pregnant. She looks fine.

  35. danigirl

    shes fuckin ugly…ugly….ugly…ugly….oh and if she is going to give birth….we should push her down a flight of stairs….we dont need anymore people looking like her…or being a part of her…or being 10 feet from her…

  36. sigmanu


  37. The-Guslet

    “My dress matches my tinted contacts. That’s hot!”

  38. The-Guslet

    “My dress matches my tinted contacts *inane giggle* *vapid grin* That’s hot!”

  39. Dumptruck

    Who goes to court looking like a smurf?

  40. Science Teacher

    she looks like some dopey tennis player. Paris Sharapova. God help tennis.

  41. Must say she looks very nice in that dress.

  42. I’d still hit it.


  43. lol…. I love Paris sometimes…

    Glad to see she’s putting on a few pounds.

  44. jrzmommy

    “This is me being demure…….with nipples to the wind.”

  45. cole007

    All I have to say is the booze is catching up with you, Paris. Give Jessica Biel’s trainer a call. That’s how my beer belly started looking one winter and before you know it …

    fat pants. Elisha Cuthbert anyone?

  46. Paris is a vapid idiot. On the chain of fools, she’s just a link above from Britney and Lindsay.

  47. RichPort

    #19 – Actually if not for her Daddy’s money, she’d be fucking everything that walked, be a festering coke head and alcoholic, and engage in being a living human specimen of a STD petrie dish… oh wait…

    And someone please, PLEASE, tell her tits to stop looking at me.

  48. whatRwordsworth

    Her tits actually look kinda nice in that dress. I bet that $1500 really hurts.

    Whose hand is on her ass in the 1st pic? If it’s the guy with his back to the camera, his right arm would have to be much longer than the left.

  49. 86

    Her face looks like an arrowhead.

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