Paris Hilton is dropping over $280 grand on a diamond-encrusted dash for her pink Bentley, The Sun reports:
Paris got one of her guys to phone Bentley in Crewe, where the vehicle was made, to ask if it would be possible to give it a little more sparkle.
“When the man said she wanted to stud the dashboard with a couple of hundred grand’s worth of diamonds, we were stunned. We’re used to dealing with the stars so we expect the odd extravagance, but this is something else.”
You know what I love about this story? There’s only one probable way for it to end:
Paris Hilton Crushed by Diamonds in Head-On Collision
Los Angeles – Hotel heiress Paris Hilton died in a head-on collision this morning when her diamond-encrusted dashboard failed to act as any sort of safety device whatsoever.
Rescue workers believe Hilton would’ve survived if her car were made of “normal vehicle components and not fucking diamonds like a goddamn moron-mobile.”
The ghost of Charles Darwin also appeared at the scene to deliver a thumbs up before informing bystanders to “intelligently design” themselves in the anus.
A boy can dream, can’t he?
adf | March 4, 2009 at 2:58 pm
1st
p0nk | March 4, 2009 at 2:59 pm
another fine example of how “down to earth” paris is.
CaptainMorgan | March 4, 2009 at 2:59 pm
They had no issue with installing the dildo/vibrator accessory in the driver’s seat bottom, so this should be pretty simple.
Bedazzle!
she | March 4, 2009 at 3:00 pm
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JimB | March 4, 2009 at 3:00 pm
I’m expecting her to file a police report on a stolen dashboard pretty soon!
Yo Yo | March 4, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Fifth! Paris sucks cocks … a lot ..
Pathetic Worm | March 4, 2009 at 3:02 pm
I want to intelligently design my dick in her abcess-encrusted anus.
.
Max Planck | March 4, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Pimp my ride.
Chris Brown | March 4, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I would hit her
Evil | March 4, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I hope she crushes her face against it and heals up pretty.
p0nk | March 4, 2009 at 3:13 pm
xrist this site has become a complete cesspool of idiots. It’s just not worth wading through the crap of the racists, spammers, binky’s 9/11 drivel, and the celeb worshipping morons like mimi, to find the rare nugget of brilliance.
time for a break.
bakinmycake | March 4, 2009 at 3:13 pm
say what you want but this is one girl who has done the most with the least….
Sigh | March 4, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Not only is this tacky, but it is disgusting that she squanders an amount of money in one day that most people don’t even make in 2-3 years. Paris Hilton is such a dumb and tacky ditz.
pOnk | March 4, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Sorry Sorry I need a xanex. Just just omg I’m losing it totally
RichPort's Ghost | March 4, 2009 at 3:18 pm
I guess her Valtrex prescription wouldn’t cover an entire dashboard.
Kelley | March 4, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Wow, this silly and useless celebustard who “didn’t know that people had to work for their money” (as she once said in an interview just a few short years back) spends millions on material SHIT while I have worked with soldiers and vets who’ve seen people starve in their own country due to civil war, and have to go through garbage at the end of the day in hopes of finding something to eat, and this useless cooze just lives to be photographed, because there are no brains involved whatsover. She is so over-exposed that she’s the neighbourhood bike, everyone’s had a ride. Enough already of her !!
Chris Brown | March 4, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Its ok pOnk I will just give you a good wack
Gack | March 4, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Maybe the bitch would like to pay off my $298,000 mortgage as long as she’s throwing that kind of money around.
Richard Dawkins | March 4, 2009 at 3:26 pm
I found your Darwin joke rather amusing and stupendous. He would have surely given his approval by way of a thumbs up. Good job, lad. Cheerio and all that then. Ta ta.
Giddy | March 4, 2009 at 3:26 pm
THIS must be what she did with the charitable monies she was going to give to create a shelter/halfway house for women after she got out of jail. Remember that?
Randal | March 4, 2009 at 3:41 pm
That is one slick ride Paris has gotten herself. Those rims are sick! It takes a big attitude to drive a car like that and Paris oozes in it. You take those diamonds out of the rough Paris and show them to the world!
Randal
feckless | March 4, 2009 at 3:48 pm
Next to her, Jessica Simpson is a genius.
feckless | March 4, 2009 at 3:56 pm
@19. Doubtful that Charles Darwin would give a thumbs up. Thumbs up started as a sign meaning male fertility. I am sure – even though I don’t have my lab coat on – that herpes discourages fertility.More likely he would have given the Limp Dick hand signal showing that he agrees with Fish’ assessment.
dada moats | March 4, 2009 at 3:57 pm
that’s pretty fuck’in funny there fishman
perez hilton | March 4, 2009 at 3:58 pm
I want diamonds installed in my face.
Lisa | March 4, 2009 at 4:00 pm
What a waste. How many families in her state are losing their homes, going hungry, and so forth. She wastes 280K on her dashboard?????? Hello way to help the people Paris you spoiled brat!!!!!
No one | March 4, 2009 at 4:01 pm
Glad to see that Paris is making a difference in the world, especially to those who need it.
What happened to that women’s shelter she was going to open, after spending time in the slammer? You know, that “life changing” experience…
Valerie | March 4, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I agree–tacky, and I HATE pink, especially on a fucking car. Nasty!
Darth | March 4, 2009 at 4:18 pm
A typical girly colored car but she can always hand me the keys for a test drive.After that we can talk about the details.
havoc | March 4, 2009 at 4:20 pm
Hopefully the dumb bitch will face plant into it while rear ending Kim Kardashian in a Beverly Hills intersection. Only to pry the cars apart to find Lindsey Lohan sandwiched bewteen holding Sam’s penis…..
Upon hearing the news, Britney Spears committs suicide and Rhiana beats the shit outta Stevie Wonder.
.
Karla with a K.O. | March 4, 2009 at 4:26 pm
This makes me so angry. I can barely afford to go to college & have money for rent & food. What a stupid fucking twat. HEY YOU STUPID BITCH- if you’re going to squander money on retarded shiny bullshit, then why not toss a few grand to people who can’t afford, say, FOOD! Goddamnmotherfuckingshit makes me want to kill.
Sauron | March 4, 2009 at 4:30 pm
I’m not sure if i will fit behind the steering wheel.Where’s the sliding sunroof?
Jackie | March 4, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Mercendes just annouced that they will also be installing an airbag made of stileto spiked heels free of charge.
Jackie | March 4, 2009 at 4:33 pm
Mercendes just annouced that they will also be installing an airbag made of stileto spiked heels free of charge.
Smart&Cute2Boot | March 4, 2009 at 4:33 pm
And this is why the terrorists hate us.
jt | March 4, 2009 at 4:34 pm
glad to see this human yeast infection is following through on her post-prison promise to lead a more productive and meaningful life.
ktb | March 4, 2009 at 4:37 pm
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU WHINERS!
Paris Hilton is not a charity!
#13 Yes, dumb and tacky, but it’s HER life.
#18 If you were that rich would you give your money away to a shit head like yourself just because you asked?
#26 People are losing their homes because they actually thought that a $300 payment on a $300,000 mortgage made sense.
#31 Become a dollarmenuaire…or, try ramen noodles. Worked for lots of other students.
Paris doesn’t owe one thing to any of you!
debagger | March 4, 2009 at 4:46 pm
#37 No she doesn’t. But she is a hypocrite — an ugly one at that. So do we really think she could be spending that money more wisely? No (primarily because she has Down’s). Do we hope that someone steals it and beats her head in with it? Yes.
Vince Lombardi | March 4, 2009 at 4:47 pm
Glad to see going to jail has helped Paris and ktb get some perspective.
beagle | March 4, 2009 at 4:53 pm
#26 Rank on Nadya Suleman who blew $100K+ on IVF and God knows how much more on I-wanna-look-like-Angeline-Jolie-plastic surgery while collecting welfare, food stamps and disability. And denying the surgery and the welfare. Meanwhile mom owes $28,00 at the bank and will lose her house – the one Nadya lives in with her 6 kids (3 disabled). I’m praying for natural selection to kick in any second. now That or a bullet or CPS.
ROUGH DADDY | March 4, 2009 at 5:29 pm
hahah That’s why I love Paris, shes oblivious to her surrondings…
Mortgage_Krisis | March 4, 2009 at 5:29 pm
I just lost my house. She gets diamond dash. neat.
me | March 4, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Does she realize that not only does the entire fuckin’ planet despise her, but if she died the planet would be a better place? Whip those children in West Africa double time! Paris Hilton needs a diamond dashboard!!! Fucking die paris.
Just die.
havoc | March 4, 2009 at 5:47 pm
$280,000 could fix a lot of wonk-eyes….
.
grobpilot | March 4, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Like most of Hollywood and other celebrity-wanna-be’s, if she died today, in two weeks most likely no one would think of her again.
norton | March 4, 2009 at 6:06 pm
LMAO. What a moron.
Steal the car for what….. 20 minutes, rip the dash out, leave the car.
Danklin24 | March 4, 2009 at 6:10 pm
Pretty ironic that the SUN wrote this article because thats whats going to KILL her. You see Paris, diamonds are pretty but they’re also sparkly. When the sun hits them they’ll fucking blind you!! Put some Armor All on your dash and see how annoying it is on a sunny day. Better hope no one coming in the other direction, you wouldnt want to kill anyone because you’re a fucking rich bitch moron that got blinded, would you?
el ces | March 4, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Maybe it’ll look good.
Paris is setting a new trend.
Jenny | March 4, 2009 at 6:27 pm
LOL thanks fish, needed the laugh
stoplookingatme | March 4, 2009 at 6:45 pm
When I think of the crippling student loan debt that’s waiting for me at the end of grad school, this story makes…{ugh}. Maybe she’ll be taken out by a carload of angsty, unemployed PhDs hopped up on “mood stabilizers” in that future car wreck the ‘fish predicted. ;)