Paris Hilton no longer wants a baby ASAP, apocalypse officially delayed

September 5th, 2008 // 58 Comments

Paris Hilton is no longer desperately seeking impregnation. Ho. Ly. Shit! *pops open champagne* WHOOPEEEEE! Hollyscoop reports:

“You know right now I’m just focusing on my business. A lot of traveling around the world. There’s no time for a baby right now.
Paris added, “I would love to one day, but for right now it wouldn’t be right to have a kid because I don’t have the time. My schedule is so crazy, I am going to London next month for a couple of weeks to do my BFF show in London, so I have a lot of work cut out for me.”

You know who you don’t hear saying he wants a baby on the ASAP and we can thank for this turn of events? Benji Madden. Of course, he’s probably too busy scrubbing his testicles with a Brillo pad, but still.

Photos: Splash News

  1. mimi


  2. Spanky

    Can she even have one legally with all of her diseases?? I mean seriously. The baby would come out with almost all of the know STD’s ever discovered.

  3. mimi

    FIRST losers!

  4. katia

    she looks so gorgeous there! i think she must have recovered from her stds by now.

  5. Spanky

    Scrubbing your nut sack with a brillo pads rules. It feels so good in a very naughty way.

  6. fish da whore

    everyone posting after me sucks mudholes

  7. jaime

    give me a call, paris, i’ll give you all the sperm you want!

    ps: everyone who’s post is number 6 sucks worse than mudholes

  8. jaime


  9. havoc

    I would not hit that.


  10. Sarah Palin

    Thank God!

    Her baby would have been a total retard.

  11. rough daddy

    I happen to like paris, shes independant and will bang you on site.

  12. I guess her reality check finally came in the mail..

  13. Mike

    Her hands look older than my grandmother’s.Yuck!

  14. ElectricBlueChick

    Does anyone else see that her dress is on backwards? Her zipper is right up at the top at the front of her dress?
    She can’t put her clothes on properly after a quick romp in the sack with some random? She thinks she could have a kid too?

  15. She appears to have stolen Madonna’s hands.

  16. Ted from LA

    How would one impregnate her? It seems to me like it would be dropping your dick into a bucket.

  17. grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    fuck this whore, but really don’t because death by herpes is no way to go, also benji madden has been there so you may as well just fuck him and death by burning penis is even worse, but back to the point… fuck this bitch who can’t even match her fucking hair extension to the hair growing out of her whore head and word #13 her fucking hands are hideous.

  18. grosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    You are So awesome for noticing that! Normally I try never to look at the medusa whore, but I checked and there is no fucking way that dress is on the right way. Ahahahahahahaha that is the funniest shit ever, I guess her personal assistants who wipe her ass and pop her herpes sores and do everything else for her useless ass were busy and fuck she can’t dress herself so this pathetic shit happens. Even my little niece can fucking figure out what side is the front and what side is the back.

    She truly is the dumbest bitch alive.

  19. do not want

    #15 Or Veingelina’s. Hands are one of the first signs of aging. I hope her face ends up like her hands in a few years, you get the face you deserve so she should be looking like my bulldog’s ass anyday now.

  20. arp

    Her dress isn’t on backwards. Look at the picture of her back. Duh.

  21. timmy the dying boy

    #13 & #15:

    Right. Those hands would only look right if they were attached to Skeletor. Mind you, that’s actually not that large a leap.

  22. Kim W.

    i DO hate when people bring up politics on a post that has nothing to do with politics, but i do have to say one thing, and it’s neither good or bad for any political party: Doesn’t Paris look like a young Cindy McCain in this pic?

  23. Randal

    There is nothing wrong with wanting to focus on yourself and Paris, you’re doing the right thing. Having a child come into your life at this point, will take you out of the clothing and music industry for awhile, which you do not need. Your clothing line is selling off the racks and your music continues to be remixed and become hits in the clubs.

    Wait awhile, settle down and then think of becoming a mother.


  24. grossssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

    Look at the back of her, what are you nuts??? The fumes of deadly asstransmitted diseases would come right through my computer screen.

    No thanks.

  25. Uh-huh,

    I still find her sexy – herpes and all.

  26. cyelsm

    Thank God who needs another anorexic barbie doll walking around anyway.

  27. HolyHell

    Of course, he’s probably too busy scrubbing his testicles with a Brillo pad, but still.

    Now that’s funny!! Made my day….

  28. obammy

    Obammy daddy would knock her up and leave her. She’s a slut loser just like Obammy mama right?

  29. JPrichardson

    I missed the post where Paris lost her ass.

  30. One Shrute Buck

    Anybody watch the office?
    When Michael comes into the office and tells Pam to get him an application to adopt a Chinese baby. She tells him the application costs $10,000 and could take 6-9 months.
    He then asks her to find a cheaper, quicker baby because he probably won’t even want a baby in 6 months.
    You probably won’t.
    Well, I guess Paris lost her interest too.

  31. Gina

    i love paris!

  32. Gina

    i love paris!
    and i don’t get the brillo pad thing.

  33. veggie cake

    no babies yet Paris .. please!!! do another fashion show with that cutie Kira Plastinina …

  34. veggie cake

    no babies yet Paris .. please!!! do another fashion show with that cutie Kira Plastinina …

  35. rusty

    I’d tap that skinny ass.

  36. FEET, LENGHT, HANDS, TITS, isn’t able of getting pregnant.
    need to say more?

  37. anca

    she’s wearing the same outfit that kim kardashian wore like 2 weeks ago.. LOL i wonder if she knows:D I would love to see some catfight “this is MY outfit! no! it’s mine!” :))))))))))))))))))))

  38. Christine

    Well, thank God this stupid bitch didn’t actually get knocked up when she was going through her “I-want-a-baby-ASAP” phase. Poor thing would probably be banished to wherever this dumb whore is keeping her dogs these days.

  39. InTheKnow


    Once again, what is the color of the sky in your word…or are you just a PR poster? They are most certainly NOT selling off the racks. As a matter of fact, the local Macy’s, here, will not sell any of her lines as they are overpriced in view of the overall lack of quality in workmanship. I happen to know one of the buyers. She’s looked at as more of an overpriced WalMart lable.

    She doesn’t design anything she endorses, either.

  40. devilsrain

    The Wonk eye is almost open the whole way!

  41. uppity obammies

    Obammy daddy would knock her up. He loves to knock up whores and abandon his jug-eared crack-addict chillun.

  42. immmers

    Yep, either that dress is on backwards or it’s really badly designed. Or her praying-mantis body looks fugly in anything.

    And I deeply hope that her wide range of mutant STDs renders her forever infertile, so she won’t have a baby to show off to the cameras for four minutes before sticking it in a closet and forgetting about it. No baby deserves this evil skank as a mom! Hell, many criminals don’t deserve this evil skank as a mom.

    As for those ugly veiny hands, I cannot wait to see that spread to the rest of her body. You know she’s going to get everything lifted and spend bazillions trying to look young, dancing on tables and hitting on hot men who won’t even glance at her, looking even more pathetic than she does now. Ah, Paris at forty — what a lovely idea.

  43. Paris can’t have kids anyhow because in order to get preggers a dude has to shoot a load into her herpes infected cooch without a condom, thereby condemning himself to a life of giant blisters.

    PS: Da Man practices safe sex only with non-herpes infected babes!

  44. Tazina

    When Paris gets fixed up she looks just fine. Pretty girl. And she has the sense not to get sperminated just because it would be “cool” to have a baby.

  45. Roddenberry

    What an useless piece of body and brain . And bad DNA to transmit

  46. TLsss

    How busy could her life possibly be unless you mean the nonstop parties and drinking. But then again thank god she isn’t producing. Would terribly feel bad for the poor kid.

  47. TLsss

    How busy could her life possibly be unless you mean the nonstop parties and drinking. But then again thank god she isn’t producing. Would terribly feel bad for the poor kid.

  48. gunworth

    ahahahahahaa maybe she can produce mutations to stds so that it contributes to the discovery of cures and watnot….. lol and then finally proven herself useful.

  49. Chenush

    @17 @18
    Go fuck yourself.
    Im sure you are so perfect.
    fuck you.

  50. Truth doctor

    Good god, she looks 40 in some of those!

Leave A Comment