I must’ve missed the memo, because clearly everybody in Hollywood has decided to go black. Pais Hilton attended the O2 Wireless Festival looking like a thin version of Britney Spears. Wait, did I say thin? I meant bug-like. Like a bug. She looks like a bug. You could stand next to her wearing a ladybug costume and people would wonder what the bug was doing standing next to a giant tomato.
NOTE: She doesn’t really look like a bug, but I couldn’t resist the giant sunglasses combined with her natural mantis-like form.
yuckyfresh | June 23, 2006 at 6:18 pm
that’s freaky!
yuckyfresh | June 23, 2006 at 6:19 pm
and yucky.
djcamerin | June 23, 2006 at 6:22 pm
I can’t stand the bitch really, but somehow I find the black hair almost an improvement.
For the record, I’m a complete newbie here – been lurking/reading for awhile but I love the site – most of you guys are hilarious…some not so much.
snark | June 23, 2006 at 6:23 pm
That looks terrible. I’m beginning to tire of her.
BarbadoSlim | June 23, 2006 at 6:23 pm
In the wild, the praying mantis will copulate with its mates and then devour them. Paris Hilton copulates with its mates and then infect them with deadly venereal diseases, thus, the circle of life, is complete.
imabeeatch | June 23, 2006 at 6:28 pm
What a cockroach
The Girl | June 23, 2006 at 6:28 pm
You guys are merciless. You say that Paris and Sienna are too skinny (which I happen to agree with). You say that Reese and Kelly Clarkson are too fat. Seriously, is there a girl who’s just right? What does that even look like?
lurkinggirl | June 23, 2006 at 6:32 pm
Umm….yeah, that is a wig. Probably that same skanky wig she was wearing under the baseball cap the other day.
LilRach | June 23, 2006 at 6:33 pm
She kinda looks less skanky.
Is it just me or is this the first time this woman has worn jeans? I’m so used to seeing her in short minis. What a transformation.
#7 for the record no girl is just right on the superficial – come on get with the program!
Musa_ acuminata | June 23, 2006 at 6:34 pm
Brit Brit or Itch Itch? YOU decide.
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 6:38 pm
They must be wearing some of Jessica Simpson’s new wigs.
She looks like a hairy spider.
Musa_ acuminata | June 23, 2006 at 6:39 pm
@7 Nice screen name. What’s the matter, was The Twat already taken?*
*That on is in honor of Biatcho, you hateful, hateful woman.
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 6:43 pm
She looks a bit like Edna Mode.
VanillaSalTyBaLLs | June 23, 2006 at 6:47 pm
I’d hit it …… with one of those crazy monster trucks…
idntgiva_hOoT! | June 23, 2006 at 6:51 pm
#7 Who gives a crap! This is why its the “superficial”.
matt2585 | June 23, 2006 at 6:51 pm
Actually, I believe The Superficial has deemed at least two girls to be perfect: Allesandra Ambrosio and Jessica Alba.
I agree with both selections and wish they’d spend a lot more time posting pics of those two and a lot less time with the attention-hungry whores they seem especially infatuated with lately. Some fewer tired, snide comments about the same old hags and some more beautiful women would make my day brighter.
More Allesandra! More Alba!
Yoda a Green Schlong Has | June 23, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Why is SF displaying their thoroughly homosexual filter message, again?
“Your comment has been received and is awaiting approval. Due to recent issues with commenters, we’ve put in a system to filter out inappropriate commenters. Once approved, you shouldn’t see this message ever again.”
matt2585 | June 23, 2006 at 6:53 pm
Every magazine seems infatuated with Top 50 beautiful women lists. The Superficial should do the same.
And Natalie Portman is also on the list, when she doesn’t look like a boy. And even then, she seems to make the writers horny.
I spend too much time reading this site.
biatcho | June 23, 2006 at 6:53 pm
#12 I am no more hateful than anyone else on here. Some of us just articulate it a bit better. I have a really shining personality : )
fack all y’all’s
Jacq | June 23, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Something tells me that #7 thinks that she’s skinny and everyone says she’s fat.
Take me, for example, not too thin not too thick. Juuuust right. And I really know how to fuck. That, coincidentally, is how I stay soooo thin and popular.
I wish that she’d wear the wig backwards. You know, over her face.
Jacq | June 23, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Something tells me that #7 thinks that she’s skinny and everyone says she’s fat.
Take me, for example, not too thin not too thick. Juuuust right. And I really know how to fuck. That, coincidentally, is how I stay soooo thin and popular.
I wish that she’d wear the wig backwards. You know, over her face.
LoneWolf | June 23, 2006 at 6:57 pm
I know a guy who had sex with Paris. Next morning his cock starts turning black, so he goes to the doctor, who tells him he’ll have to amputate. He says, forget that, I’m getting a second opinion. Goes to another doc, who says it won’t have to be amputated. My friend says, thank God, and the doc says, yeah, no need, it’s gonna fall off on its own.
Thanks, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal, and don’t forget to tip your waitress.
Jacq | June 23, 2006 at 6:57 pm
#19 – Fahk you too, Biatcho, you queah! I heart you. It’s after 5 on Friday I got nuttin’ but love now.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 6:57 pm
Thats a wig… but that black hair makes them look like hags.
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 6:58 pm
I guess anything worth saying, is worth saying twice, right, Jacq? ;-)
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 6:59 pm
That WOULD be sweet if she turned the wig around. Cousin It!
Jasmine | June 23, 2006 at 7:01 pm
I think she looks better than Britney with the black hair.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:02 pm
Plus… you don’t need no chocolate aka jane’s eyre keeps logging in under different names, doing what she is accusing ME of doing! INTERSTING!
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:03 pm
I don’t mind spending some time
Just hanging here with you
Cuz I don’t find too many guys
That treat me like you do
Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride
But when I walk their talk is suicide
Some people never get beyond their stupid pride
But you can see the real me inside
And I’m satisfied, oh no, ohh
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine
I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby i’m perfect for you
My love, ohh oh
I could be your confidante
Just one of your girlfriends
But I know that love’s what you want
If tomorrow the world ends
Why shouldn’t we be with the one we really love?
Now tell me who have you been dreaming of
At night at home? oh no, ohh
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine
I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby i’m perfect for you
Excuse me for feeling
This moment is critical
Might be me feeling
It could get physical, oh no, no no
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine
I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby I’m perfect for you
Baby I’m perfect for you
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
bigponie | June 23, 2006 at 7:05 pm
third picture, I just want to get a pair or pliers and pull that herpes tongue right out.
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 7:06 pm
What the hell are you talking about, stupid? I’m not logging in under different names. Guess you’re so obsessed with me that you’re starting to see me everywhere. Don’t talk to me, you stupid retard.
LilRach | June 23, 2006 at 7:08 pm
Bananas – shit i thought you’d done a disappearing act on us!
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:08 pm
Okay, ghetto retard slum jane’s eyre… you just admitted to it. You are stupider than I thought.
QUESTION TO YOU: Highest level of education?
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Nope, I have been EXTREMELY busy! I can’t tell you how because you won’t believe me, just make fun of it and it’ll ruin the magic of it for me, so never mind where I was.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:10 pm
And if you don’t want me to talk to you, don’t reply to me. That would be the ADULT THING to do… it would be the smart thing to do. Gee, when I don’t like someone I just don’t talk to them, but your PEA BRAIN can’t take not talking to me, the object of you affection.
krisdylee | June 23, 2006 at 7:11 pm
I am feeling a bit worried that this might be the thread that stays all weekend long….
Why can’t Whitney OD or Tommy suck some penis for Christ’s sake…
krisdylee | June 23, 2006 at 7:12 pm
Or better yet, Tommy OD by sucking too many penii.
Jacq | June 23, 2006 at 7:13 pm
#25 – Shit! I haven’t had a double-post in I don’t know how long, never would have noticed it. Well, at least not until I come back to read all of the funny stuff that I post and laaaaaugh! I think that COOB is starting to slip into the Homer-like dementia from the Flaming Homer episode where he sees Moe’s face everywhere.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:15 pm
Double-post are pretty hard to do unless you’re stupid. You can’t do a post until after a minute has passed. There are a bunch of retards here.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:15 pm
jane’s eyre lives in the slums and wont disclose her highest level of education.
jane's eyre | June 23, 2006 at 7:17 pm
#38
Ha ha, that’s a good episode. I heart Homer. I think I need some cough syrup now.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:21 pm
Young man,
there’s no need to feel down.
I said, young man,
pick yourself off the ground.
I said, young man,
’cause you’re in a new town
there’s no need to be unhappy.
Young man,
there’s a place you can go.
I said, young man,
when you’re short on your dough.
You can stay there,
and I’m sure you will find
many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
It’s fun to stay at the y-m-c-a.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:22 pm
I suckle young male goats. Just thought you’d like to know.
PaisleyMoon | June 23, 2006 at 7:22 pm
Did Paris Hilton kill Megan Harris?
bigponie | June 23, 2006 at 7:22 pm
don’t feed the troll any more bananas Jane, and just hope “it” goes back into the jungle into the hands of a silverback.
bigponie | June 23, 2006 at 7:25 pm
Iambananas,
there’s no need to feel down.
I said, Iambananas,
pick yourself off the ground.
I said, Iambananas,
’cause you’re in a new town
there’s no need to be unhappy.
Iambananas,
there’s a place you can go.
I said, Iambananas,
when you’re short on your dough.
You can stay there,
and I’m sure you will find
many ways to have a good time.
It’s fun to stay at the j-u-n-g-l-e.
It’s fun to stay at the j-u-n-g-l-e.
Iambananas | June 23, 2006 at 7:28 pm
And I’m highly edumacated. Did I mention the goats?
LoneWolf | June 23, 2006 at 7:38 pm
It’s martini time!
That means at long last I get to take off these Grecian-Formula-stained headphones and head for that crystal clear liquid that takes me so far away from all my problems and so far away from all my pain!
And so, I bid you a fond arrevi-diverci, and, as we used to say back in oooooooolllllllld Mexico City…..
AMF!!
WorldWideWendy | June 23, 2006 at 7:39 pm
Pooing in a german farm made her hair turn black.It happens all the time.Look it up on the web.It’s science.
WorldWideWendy | June 23, 2006 at 7:43 pm
Banana’s- go down, go way down,all the way….there you go….better huh?
Told you, now smile for the camera’s.