Paris Hilton loves looking like a boy

April 6th, 2006 // 85 Comments

paris-hilton-small-boobs.jpgIn a recent interview with Elle magazine, Paris Hilton says she doesn’t understand why women want bigger breasts, explaining:

“I like being flat. I think it


  1. CheekyChops

    I’m already visualizing the duct tape over Paris’s mouth.

  2. fanie

    How is THAT flat-chested? She’s a B-Cup. The term “flat-chested” should only be used for AA-cups or even sometimes A-cups. But definitely not B-Cups. Those are a handful, which basically cancels the whole “flat” thing, if you’re able to grop them properly.

  3. Blaze

    whore

  4. WickedBitch

    It’s a shame that she and Nicole Richie aren’t friends anymore. “No-Bosom” buddies is more like it, really. They think just alike: http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/12/19/nicole_richie_hates_breasts_ea.html

  5. boredmilf

    Wow – I hate those glasses

  6. cloud nine

    Actually, she’s quite well-endowed for a praying mantis.
    “No-bosom buddies” – good one, #6!

  7. bigtuna299

    what a crack whore!!! Just think when her 15 minutes are up she can clean toilet pipes with those arms

  8. SeenIt

    Now we know who stole Harry Caray’s sun glasses.

  9. Chrystal03

    Her arm looks like a chicken bone after I eat all the meat off of it…

  10. DivaG81

    Unfortunately, I don’t think Paris is limited to 15 minutes of fame in the public eye because 1) She’s really wealthy and unless she gives all her money away, wealth keeps you famous if you want to be famous and 2) she comes from a pretty famous family that’s not going out of the public’s radar any time soon. And for those reasons, I hate her skank ass even more. And she doesn’t have a good body, SHE’S JUST SKINNY! (I’ve seen better boobs on men).

  11. PocketRocket

    Her gully hole has to be an STD breeding ground!

    Skank!

  12. Miss_Marple

    #11 Best damn giggle of the day, thank you.

  13. sweetcheeks

    You know, a “kumquat” is just a fruit, but it seems like an apropos moniker for Paris. Doesn’t it? Cum-cwat.

  14. Charlaurz McHall

    Oh my god, Paris Hilton makes me laugh! You think that was funny? Check this out…unbelievable!
    http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/no_fing_way.html
    I sooooo hope it is true!

  15. SuperSpence

    This is an outrage!! Every woman should obsess over the size of her breasts and wonder constantly if they are big enough, firm enough, high enough, round enough, mine enough. We’ve got a lot of problems in this world and we’re not going to solve any of them with flat-chested women. You name me one thing a woman with small breasts has ever done. Just one thing. Yeah, I knew it. Nothing. Only women with gigantic hooters have anything to offer society.

    I’m very disappointed in Paris Hilton for saying she’s happy with small breasts. Previously, based on her public comments and demeanor, I’d assumed Miss Hilton to be a sensible and virtuous citizen of our great and ancient republic. Now…I don’t know what to think. She’s warping the minds of young girls, fooling them into believing they can be small-breasted and still have a life worth living.

    Paris Hilton is worse than Osama Bin Laden. At least he appreciates the value of a dame with a nice big rack. You think any of those 72 virgins Osama is looking forward to in Heaven are members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee? No way.

    So, just to sum up:

    Tiny Titties < Surgically-enhanced maracas
    Paris Hilton < Osama Bin Laden.

  16. Tetsuo

    I hate to say it, but you know what? Yes, she’s a skanky whore, but I still think she’s got nice titties. Nothing wrong with small boobs. Granted, I’m scared of what I could catch just from looking at them, but still.

  17. sweetcheeks

    It’s true, Spence. The only thing that makes life worth living as a female are your breasts. I’m constantly on the brink of suicide.

  18. sweetcheeks

    Can Herpes be passed through breast-milk?

  19. some girl

    Doesn’t she seem rather large chested for such a skinny everything else. Like maybe, just maybe, not her own. All of my anorexic friends are totally flat chested. Just saying.

  20. ESQ

    Fucking Paris Hilton is like throwing a toothpick in the Lincoln Tunnel. ZING! She is a whore!

  21. krisdylee

    being one of the small-breasted women in the world, i do agree, it’s great to have small titties…. but for fuck’s sake paris, i’d be more concerned with that grappling hook of a nose you got going on there… yoiks…

  22. PirateWench

    Sounds like Paris is trying to convince herself, because everyone else knows that big boobs are awesome.

    Tip to Paris: Even small breasts will sag without a bra. Hold ‘em up once in a while, or you’ll be tripping on them by the time you’re 40. …If you make it to 40.

  23. ethicka

    # 20… in her case, Nature will obviously make an exception in the affirmative. Her child, if she can still concieve, will be lucky to be born without choking on 20 other guys spunk.

    This is sorta an old news clip. She talked about her boobs and breast enhancement in Rolling Stone two years ago. Still, the “Zing” made my day. Yay for being Superficial.

  24. sweetcheeks

    #25 — choking on spunk!! Delicious.

  25. PapaHotNuts

    She is a stork-faced, titless baboon child.

    Besides herpes, syphlilus, and gonorrhea, her vagina spreads absolute fear. I hope the water she is standing in is a huge vat of penicillen and it cleanses her monkey enough that it no longer contributes to the demise of all mankind.

    The only difference between this hooker and a bucket of shit is the bucket.

  26. vavavoom

    those are implants, she got them a few monthes ago

  27. no amount of breasts could make this stick attractive anyways.

  28. SuperSonicsGirl

    Dearest Paris, I know it’s very hard to understand the difference between like and hate. But let me help you. Usually when people LIKE something they don’t fuck with it. When people HATE something, they change it. You HATED being flat Paris, that’s why you got a boob job. I hope this helps.

    http://www.goodplasticsurgery.com/

  29. Baroness

    #4 I agree. Those look like full Bs to me, same as Mischa Barton has – and people who say they are “flat-chested” clearly do not get out much.

    Flat-chested is AA-cups, meaning there’s not much there.

  30. thatsmyname

    She’s totally not flat chested. Those are respectable sized boobs.

  31. dimestoredetective

    The good money says that as soon as Paris ages a bit those fake breasts will magically appear. There is nothing like a massive set of perfectly round hooters to take a guy’s eyes off a woman’s face.

  32. sweetcheeks

    How could I have missed Paris’ boob job? Good find, SuperSonicsGirl.

    I guess I was always distracted by the vacuous stink-hole that is her vagina.

  33. Cheekymunkeh

    I hope her enhanced itty bitty titties self implode and the saline creates a toxic reaction with the 47 382 147 STD’s ravaging her fugly body and she dies. Simple.

  34. Italian Stallion

    I can’t believe how skinny Elton John looks in that picture, pretty crazy.

  35. Italian Stallion

    Did she mistake her Ecstacy with Trim Spa?

  36. I don’t understand what she means about not having to wear bras. A lot of busty celebrities don’t wear bras either. And they manage to be slightly less skanky. Which is really, really easy. Less skanky than Paris is like being less dead than, um, some dead guy.

  37. imabeeatch

    I can’t stand to look at the anorexicnoassSTDinfestedskankwhoremonger. I think I will go gouge out my own eyes with a spoon now.

  38. normella

    After not wearing a bra for another ten years, those little babies are going to be saggarriffic.

    And I think she’s pretty flat-chested. If she’s a full B, then Nicole Richie weighs over 8 ounces.

  39. DevastatorX

    Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!Herpes in the water!

    Get out NoW!!!!

    And the reason she dosen’t like underwear is because she dosen’t want to inhibit the parasites who live on her cooch from moving on. Zing! She has herpes! And she’s a whore!

  40. Blaze

    Does she has herpies mean anything to anyone?

    She is nothing but a homewrecking, std carrying, nasty insecure be-otch.

    No but really what do you think about her..

  41. EvilFiend

    im glad she likes being “fat”, but how does she feel about being a big o’ whore with a rat nose and goblin-shaped head?

  42. Paris

    mmm… I mean…
    “I like being a moron. I think it

  43. Poor girl. Judging from the grimace on her face, she’s really finding it difficult to stand with her legs closer than three yards apart.

  44. DrDanny

    Stop it! She’s beautiful! She can’t help it if she’s stupid.

  45. dimestoredetective

    So what if she has herpes. Just wrap that rascal. On the other hand, how cool would it be to impregnate her? So cool.

  46. SpiderMomma

    #15

    You mean “cum-Twat” right?

  47. A Nobody

    I always knew she had a penis. She’s a freak show.

  48. sunny_sandals

    Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that all her friends were getting boob jobs before they’d even finished puberty?? There’s something wrong with that.

  49. trophywife

    aw man… what a pansy… i have big purty 36Ds and i never have to wear a bra. ;)

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