Paris Hilton is apparently losing her mind. She arrived alone at Les Deux a week ago Friday and met up with her sister Nicky, but as she was leaving she started chanting “Firecrotch” to herself. A source says:
“But as Paris was about to leave, she started saying ‘firecrotch’ to herself – but loudly – so everyone around her could hear. And she wasn’t saying it to anybody – she was all by herself. She was practically chanting it!”
To be fair, randomly chanting your archenemy’s nickname to yourself isn’t weird at all. And neither is secretly photographing them and cutting out their eyes. Or gluing the eyeless photos to dolls and putting on a private puppet show for yourself. No, if that were weird I’d probably have a pretty serious problem on my hands.
sk8trgurl69 | April 16, 2007 at 3:43 pm
fuckers
BigJim | April 16, 2007 at 3:44 pm
She was talking about her own crotch being on fire because she got a tainted batch of Valtrex.
sk8trgurl69 | April 16, 2007 at 3:44 pm
pls fuckers.
crackmeup | April 16, 2007 at 3:44 pm
crazy heifer
BigJim | April 16, 2007 at 3:45 pm
By the way, regarding the latest school shooting: I wish those murder-suicide folks would try pulling that stunt in reverse order for a change.
honeycombs_big_yeahyeahyeah! | April 16, 2007 at 3:47 pm
The hamster on a wheel, aka her brain, must have got his paw stuck in a spoke.
pookiedoo | April 16, 2007 at 3:48 pm
She was repeating it so that she could remember to call Lindsay that next time she saw her. Girl makes Britney look like fucking Einstein.
HollyJ | April 16, 2007 at 3:49 pm
5 -I missed the details, but I thought the person that went on the rampage was some escaped convict from a local prison…? I need to check up on some CNN.
Was at the doctor’s office this morning, but the bastards had 700 CLUB playing on the waiting room television. I almost went into a rage and took out three geriatrics, a coat rack, and the lesbian secretary with one of those cheap plastic chairs.
No real news on 700 CLUB. Just Robertson and his fucking alien ears.
No_Angel | April 16, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Stupid is as stupid does. Nobody does stupid better than Hollyweird.
HerpesHilton | April 16, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Her cootch was feeling all warm and stingy. Sounds like another flare-up to me.
heyheyhey | April 16, 2007 at 4:01 pm
8–wow, no that happened in 2006. but at least you got the school right!
neonpoppy | April 16, 2007 at 4:07 pm
I’ve just realised that Paris Hilton doesn’t realise that her and Lohan fall into the same category of human* for most people on this planet. She actually thinks that she is a superior being.
* term “human” used as default until verification provided.
HollyJ | April 16, 2007 at 4:11 pm
OIC 11! I must’ve caught the blurb about 2006 and thought it was referring to the thingy today.
Maybe this is just Nature’s new form of Darwinism. Kinda nature’s way of cleaning out the system. Can’t outrun a bullet? Not fit! Choose a school with gun-toting angry young males? Not fit! Fuck Paris’s lesions? Not fit!
Jimbo | April 16, 2007 at 4:19 pm
WHat is with the little perv in the lower left hand corner. I bet he has a trench coat on and is yanking on his dick as Paris waks by
herbiefrog | April 16, 2007 at 4:20 pm
paris has been watching too many…
episodes of heroes : )
no [it's not you]
that’s got to be hard to take…
…so fight it
god its gone all quiet
FRIST!!! | April 16, 2007 at 4:26 pm
They’re ALL firecrotches, dammit!!!!
MissP | April 16, 2007 at 4:29 pm
14 – Yeah he’s all I could focus on too! wtf
wedgeone | April 16, 2007 at 5:05 pm
This news is the best you can do at the end of the day, Fish? Naked pics of Kate Moss being auctioned, Marc Anthony & JLo suing the National Enquirer, and Richard Gere being burned in effigy in India aren’t newsworthy to you?
What do I waste my time coming here?
Someone tell me where Richport, jrz, and AFJ are hanging out, please.
WTFiswrongwithUppl | April 16, 2007 at 5:11 pm
I wish her head was removable, I’d put a pretty one on.
bellasera | April 16, 2007 at 5:14 pm
not that i actually believe this bullshit, but it’s still funny.
lambman | April 16, 2007 at 5:22 pm
Did somebody just make this story up and trick a newspaper into publishing it online? Seriously?
NicotineEyePatch | April 16, 2007 at 6:12 pm
21 – or, did she just decide to chant that to herself in public to get people talking because nobody cares about her fake titty-balls anymore?
Kitty | April 16, 2007 at 6:13 pm
Hehehehe, pretty funny post! Sounds totally made up but genious!
Truthseeker013 | April 16, 2007 at 6:54 pm
Uhhhh…
Esteemed AuthorPerson, you had one too many words in that post.
Feel free to edit the word “apparently”…
Truthseeker013 | April 16, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Another thought, as I walk out the door (no celebrations!)…
Maybe she’s decided to give in to her passions. Think of how much the sex tape would bring in…
wedgeone | April 16, 2007 at 7:51 pm
God damn it. I found Richport, jrz, and AFJ. They were defecating on my mom. It would almost be bearable except my mom was having multiple orgasms. And my dad was sitting there with this dazed look, saying “what’s an orgasm?” over and over again.
katiechen | April 16, 2007 at 8:38 pm
Oh my. Paris…AGAIN?
When will she stop appearing in the news?
I mean no one wanna see her face. I thought she would have passed on already with all the diseases she got.
Wouldnt you?
crazyotto | April 16, 2007 at 8:49 pm
hey….I got yous’ a fire-crotch right here……..baddabing
krazihottkelli | April 16, 2007 at 9:13 pm
Paris, call me…I really want to see that pinapple trick,,,sweet pinapple juice to cool down a fire-crotch. Hell ya.
sympathee | April 16, 2007 at 11:29 pm
How is firecrotch an insult? I guess when you are as dumb as paris, coming up with a word longer than four letters is an accomplishment.
FRIST!!! | April 16, 2007 at 11:43 pm
She forgot to take her valtrex
FRIST!!! | April 16, 2007 at 11:44 pm
Or her xanax…oh, wait that’s me
Stickman | April 17, 2007 at 4:39 am
That’s one hell of a natty beret/tie combo her no-chin chum’s wearing.
Is it me or has he even combined it with a shocking pink coat lining? Guy’s got style. Or a brain tumour. It’s almost definitely style though.
Adrianus Smith | April 17, 2007 at 5:31 am
Anybody else noticed how nobody seems to waste their time posting about Paris Hilton? Sure, daddy’s money can buy your way into the Hollywood spotlight but it can’t seem to generate any REAL interest in ol’ Firecrotch.
She probably said that to herself as a mantra to her made-up voodoo god as protection from virtuous thoughts.
Maybe she said that to herself because the syphilis was making her crotch burn from scratching it too much from all the itching.
About the Virginia Tech shootings, that scares the hell outta me! I’m supposed to study Mechanical Engineering next year! I feel sorry for all the innocent bystanders but once again George Dubya Bush showed his lack of respect for human life by making use of this chance to speak out about his respect for firearm laws in the States. What a turd!!! Isn’t it weird that there is so little information available about the shooter and that the cops seem to have so little info available for the answers to the press. Me thinks they are covering something up! That’s the problem with the States, they put money before people in today’s society. Dark forces are pulling the strings behind the scenes these days. }>:-(
F-Sucker | April 17, 2007 at 5:40 am
Maybe she was just horny.
woodhorse | April 17, 2007 at 5:52 am
#26 Hi Wally! you rule.
Lowlands | April 17, 2007 at 6:05 am
Is it just me or does Paris look better lately?That firecrotch-religion is doing her good.Keep the good work up Paris,before bedtime some chanting and during the day a couple of times seems really to work out for you.
Lowlands | April 17, 2007 at 6:09 am
She lives already in the holy city of the firecrotches,Los Angeles.It’s as holy as Mekka for the Muslims.
Lowlands | April 17, 2007 at 6:19 am
Don’t forget to bend over 3 times a day in the direction of LA Paris.Mustn’t be too difficult for you when you’re outside LA.
Lowlands | April 17, 2007 at 6:29 am
For my babydolls which are living in the LA-area,it might be also good for you to bend over on regular base outside LA.
Adrianus Smith | April 17, 2007 at 6:51 am
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!!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!!
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This is regarding the shooting at Virginia Tech:
Did you listen to the video of the student with a cellphone on the campus? Now they’re saying he only had one gun. Bullshit!!! Anyone who has fired a pistol (or two) knows he had more than one firearm! What is the American Government hiding? Witnesses even reported the guy had two pistols! What’s the deal? Did the Bush family make a deal with this guy too? Where’s the freedom of information in the states? They’re hiding somtehing! Someone please tell me what!
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!!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!! COVER-UP !!!
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spred da wurd!
Bugman4045 | April 17, 2007 at 7:58 am
Just as toxoplasmosis changes the behavior of the host it infects, Paris’ STDs are making her crazy so that she will be in a position to spread more disease. I think it is coincidence that Lohan has the same nickname. I think Paris was simply expressing the burning in her vaj that she now feels compelled to pass along.
BTW, I am in Blacksburg. #41 STFU
wedgeone | April 17, 2007 at 8:10 am
#26 & #36 – Yawn. Snore.
Talking to yourself again, you bore? Do you scream out your own name when your cum runs down your fingers, Wally? Or does your cat usually have to lick it out of its fur?
Hippo | April 17, 2007 at 9:04 am
I think you’ve got Paris all wrong. She’s probably into Transcendental Meditation, and “firecrotch” is her mantra.
Superfish | April 17, 2007 at 9:45 am
I dont mean to wish death on anybody, but if only if only Paris Hilton was one of those unlucky students as Virginia Tech…of course, that’s just a fantasy.
krazihottkelli | April 17, 2007 at 9:54 am
we agree #45, so sad.
krazihottkelli | April 17, 2007 at 10:45 am
God, it’s so beautiful outside, I should go to the beach..
Deez | April 17, 2007 at 11:48 am
Lindsay Lohan = Firecrotch?
that ho.
Blog Lurker Guy Man Dude | April 17, 2007 at 12:23 pm
Paris was probably trying out her new found voodoo powers.
Blog Lurker Guy Man Dude | April 17, 2007 at 12:36 pm
or maybe, if she believed that if she chanted firecrotch three times really hard, then a magical genie would pop out of her vagina and grant her a wish.