Paris Hilton must’ve had a recital

February 20th, 2009 // 122 Comments

Paris Hilton made a conscious decision to go out clubbing last night dressed like a ballerina. I don’t know about you, but when I think about beauty, balance and poise, I think about Paris Hilton. At least until I see a picture of her not even walking straight thanks to a flare-up. Then I think about crying and maybe using condoms in the future. – - Ha ha ha, kidding. I just cry.

superficial

  1. Rihanna

    First you busted-face cunts

  2. Candy O

    Amy Winehouse Dances Under the Stars For Us: Rejoice!

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  3. Chris Brown

    #1 – did I say you could talk? Did I? DID I? Imma go Canadian seal on your face, bitch.

  4. Jayger

    What a life…. when all you have to do is shop, party and fuck anything that moves.

  5. *sob* Candy O *sob* *sob*

    I spent all that time on this composition and the stars didn’t post right. I really wanna cry I try so hard

  6. SnAp

    Don’t you ever think her life’s theme song is “Beautiful Dirty Rich” by Lady GaGa?

    Er, minus the whole “Beautiful” part?

  7. Brooke

    Sweet lip injections.

  8. Is it me or is she just NOT aging well??

  9. buttface

    She’s almost TOO beautiful.

  10. Dude Love

    She has some nasty looking legs and feet. Are you sure Paris isn’t a tranny?

  11. Kelley

    Oh my, one of the first unflattering pictures I’ve seen of Paris Hilton … Big Bird with skin instead of feathers !! Big Bird is cuter ! :)

  12. iSay

    Anus lips.

  13. hmna

    @2: The first time I saw your Amy Winehouse portrait, I thought it was Howard Stern. No hate, just saying.

  14. BigJim

    When I first read this I thought it said she must have had a “rectal.”

    Then I realized that’s old news.

  15. Dr Kevorkian

    Jeebus – Look at her face! It looks like she had a stroke! Of course, with her, how would you ever know if her speech or cognitive abilities were impaired…

  16. Randal

    Damn, Paris is so adorable in that dress! There’s just so much style in this girl that it’s no wonder she donates so many clothes to great charities. You just never see her in the same outfit twice. Always a style leader.

    Randal

  17. I can’t tell what’s more disturbing: Paris Hilton in her outfit or the goddamned bloody seal ad that makes me throw up every time I’m trying to read an article.

  18. Deacon Jones

    Hmm. She looks like the trannies I beat to sometimes.

  19. Grandpa

    I think @16 is really Paris Hilton!!

  20. Jayger

    you’re right FRIST, she’s not aging well… she’ll have those sagging Phyllis Diller jowls before you know it

  21. Mr Hobbes

    I want to see the bloody seal thing. It doesn’t come up on my computer.

  22. Guy

    She’s starting to look old, poor Paris…

  23. That’s what I was thinking FRIST!!!, a harbinger of cosmetic surgery to come.

  24. Terrence Howard

    It would be funny if a large black man knocked her out with a right hook and sodomized her until her anus looked like ground beef. She would wake up shitting out burger patties

  25. Well, we’ve seen how well plastic surgery has worked for her so far..HA!!
    (wonk eye, hook nose, asslips)

  26. p0nk

    KILL IT WITH FIRE!

  27. Anybody remember Gumby’s horse, Pokey?

  28. sin

    Damn. She is looking more and more like a tranny every day.

  29. Ew

    God, she gets more and more hideous every day. She looks like a dying praying mantis.

  30. Mikey

    Well, since she never wears the same outfit twice, we won’t have to worry about seeing her in it ever again!

  31. mailman

    god she looks like a tramp baked in a marinade of whore, sprinkled with freshly grated herps

  32. Does Fish have a worse hangover than me? What’s with the slow-coming stories??

  33. CandyO

    2. Candy O -

    I am f-ing pissed that this asshole keeps stealing my name.

    CANDYO is leaving this stupid website.

    Any other CANDYO’s who posts is that asshole.

  34. Berlin Philharmonic Orchestra Conductor

    Dear CandyO, we would love to dedicate this lulabye to you it’s called: Watch your Ass from the door on your way out in C Sharp, by Hukuld Ghivafuk.

  35. Fati

    She is so sad. Eventually she’ll die of drug overdose because nobody will be able to look at her without vomiting and she won’t be allowed to go outside her house. Sad, sad story.

  36. M

    webbed feet!? Paris Hilton is a DUCK. and not a cute one.

  37. :::::::: Paris will always be SKINNY, always :::::::: http://www.ThisIsWhyYoureSkinny.com

  38. Exterminator

    Possibly the worst human being of all time… (With certain exceptions)

    http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/stars/paris-hilton.html

  39. i love how in the 6th picture theres a “public parking” sign pointing right at her whore face. What the fuck is wrong with it? She looks fucking gross!!

  40. lisatlantic

    What in the hell is wrong with her face? Paris was never gorgeous but she was at least moderately attractive… now she looks like a 40 year old cokehead.

  41. lola

    Everytime I see that retarded picture I start laughing! Paris is getting old folks

  42. ishi-san

    what happened to her face???? did she recently have some new operations??

  43. g_girl

    OMG, look at her face in the 2nd pic!! HAHAHAHA!!!! nasty.

  44. farty mcshitface

    she was always fugly but man, she is looking REALLY old. if she had any muscle on that bony frame, she’d look like the crypt keeper / madonna.

  45. havoc

    LOL….she’s wasted.

    Kinda like the seal….

    .

  46. Jesssss

    oh my god that fucking bloody seal. What the fuck.

  47. boo

    Does this woman, who lives to shop, not own ONE outfit that is classy or attractive? I don’t understand clothing designers that give her free stuff. Is she really the person you want associated with your line?

  48. sarah

    hahahahaha @Jesssss – I was thinking the same thing!

    Way to spoil my appetite for Carpaccio tonight…

    RANDAL! Glad to have you back, man. I thought you may have had an accident, you know, following Paris around and laying in puddles for her while she stabbed stilettos into your back to walk across. Something tells me you might actually enjoy that.

  49. Good Witch

    Her face and body appear to be melting!

  50. Jamie's Uterus

    Why can’t this twat go out with Chris Brown next? Maybe he’ll beat the shit out of her! We can only dream………..

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