Paris Hilton had a shitty week

December 21st, 2008 // 31 Comments

So, remember when Paris Hilton’s house was broken into while she was at Christina Aguilera’s birthday party? Two fun facts about that: 1. TMZ reports Paris left the front door unlocked while relying solely on her chihuahua for security. And 2. Surprise! She wasn’t even invited to Christina’s party in the first place, according to Page Six:

Hilton and Flickinger were at LA restaurant Saam Thursday night in the private dining area when Christina Aguilera, who was celebrating her 28th birthday, walked in. “Christina was with hubby Jordan Bratman, Nicole Richie and Joel and Benji Madden,” our spy said. “Paris wasn’t invited and left shortly before they arrived so she wouldn’t have to see Benji or be asked to leave the private area for Christina.”

Didn’t Paris just say something about having great karma? Then again, when your vagina technically qualifies as a landfill, I guess getting robbed and becoming a social pariah still warrants a smiley face in your diary for the day:

“<3 At least nobody died from my genitals! Yay!! :D”

Photos: Pacific Coast News, WENN
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Comments (31)

  1. jaime | December 21, 2008 at 2:45 pm

    i fart like a man.

    Reply
  2. FedEx | December 21, 2008 at 2:47 pm

    She looks like a fool.

    Reply
  3. viva la vistroy | December 21, 2008 at 2:51 pm

    Ouch – I actually feel a tiny tiny bit bad for her, sorry everyone, maybe its the holidays and the general feeling of good cheer that make me unable to laugh at her.

    HAPPY HOLIDAYS :D

    Reply
  4. F-Obama | December 21, 2008 at 3:20 pm

    WTF? Is she opening a new Indian Casino? Damn, Paris, if you want me to bang you, I need to see that outfit hit the floor FAST! Don’t even try and be sexy getting it off.

    Reply
  5. PostmortemG | December 21, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    The Navajo owned Fire Rock Casino just opened last month in Church Rock, New Mexico. Given the area’s infamous amount of drunks [ There was actually a documentary about the nearby city of Gallup on 20/20 concerning alcoholism years ago; Gallup was officially dubbed 'Drunk Town U.$.A.' ] and the politically incorrect humor of classic Westerns that mock Native Americans, I’d say Fire Water Casino is much more fitting. Paris Hilton is good for a laugh.

    Reply
  6. dork | December 21, 2008 at 3:56 pm

    27 is a tough age for anyone… to be 20 again and star as herself in Zoolander… those were the days…

    Reply
  7. vagina landfill | December 21, 2008 at 4:00 pm

    Yeah, I bet she has rancid pussy farts

    Reply
  8. Tinkerbell | December 21, 2008 at 4:11 pm

    Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

    (translation: rápido llame a la policía)

    Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof Woof

    (translation: Yo no soy una ramera pequeña)

    Reply
  9. Britney | December 21, 2008 at 4:30 pm

    An unknown man entered Paris’s front door. What else is new?

    http://starcasm.net/archives/2247

    Reply
  10. Loch Ness | December 21, 2008 at 4:37 pm

    The more we see, and read about, Kim Kardashaskank the better this ignorant slut looks. She makes Paris look talented, educated and brimming with substance.

    Reply
  11. What have you done? | December 21, 2008 at 5:01 pm

    How do we know her vagina hasn’t killed anyone this week? I suspect her vagina devours any person unfortunate enough to get near it.

    Reply
  12. Janie | December 21, 2008 at 5:03 pm

    Are the rumours true that she has Herpes – or is it just a lie?

    Reply
  13. Fernanado Narcos | December 21, 2008 at 5:48 pm

    Goddammit,leave Paris alone!

    Mean shit like this will drive her away from us,and I really wanna wear her as a party hat on New Year’s Eve ( I figure her vagina’s about a size 8).

    Reply
  14. Sport | December 21, 2008 at 6:03 pm

    waste of flesh.

    Reply
  15. jonny monstikio | December 21, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Yeah…..riiight. They snatched $2,000,000.00 worth of jewelry that was just lying around with the doors open. And I am the Prince of Persia! It’s all a big insurance scam. She probably lost $25,000.00 , TOPS! She probably arranged the whole thing in the first place. What a skank. The rich get richer.

    Reply
  16. boo | December 21, 2008 at 7:43 pm

    Gawd, I hate those idiotic headbands. NOBODY looks good in them but Paris looks especially stupid.

    Reply
  17. scabbeus | December 21, 2008 at 8:48 pm

    If you blur your vision while looking at the picture – she looks like a cock with a cock ring.

    She just seems kind of stenchy to me. Her mother is such an idiot it is quite possible she failed to tutor Paris on the wonders of feminine hygiene.

    Reply
  18. sara | December 21, 2008 at 8:54 pm

    goddammit, she’s the most glamorous hippie ever.

    Reply
  19. lindary | December 21, 2008 at 9:07 pm

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

    Reply
  20. lindary | December 21, 2008 at 9:08 pm

    She is my favorite. Just saw her on milllionaire personals site “”"” W e a l t h y D a t e r . c o m”"”"”" last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that site.Is she single again now?

    Reply
  21. gerard Vandenberg | December 21, 2008 at 11:50 pm

    A panic situation?
    ……….IT LOOKS LIKE IT, folks!!

    Reply
  22. ME | December 22, 2008 at 12:16 am

    no one mentioned the BBF winner Britney behind her in some pix. She is the one with the bitch face in most pix …the tag a long, sad that you need a show to help make friends ..you think ms. spears would be so desperate?

    Reply
  23. Jeff W. | December 22, 2008 at 7:46 am

    I’m rooting for the robber! This pleases me for some reason. Perhaps because I despise people who walk around with an undeserved sense of entitlement.

    Reply
  24. kak | December 22, 2008 at 8:49 am

    Why would the restaurant tell her to leave the private area because Christina Aguiwhateverhernameis came in? Sounds to me like she’s just reliving a skankier high school life.

    Reply
  25. Sprmcandy | December 22, 2008 at 9:20 am

    Filthy nasty cuntress.

    Reply
  26. RichPort's Ghost | December 22, 2008 at 10:20 am

    She really is like a chameleon… but only because her wonky eye allows her to see two things at once.

    Reply
  27. el ces | December 22, 2008 at 3:08 pm

    Lets read between the lines here. It doesn’t matter if she was invited or not, you don’t turn away Paris Hilton. She is more famous than they are.

    Chris and the others were probably late, and Paris bailed after a bit.

    Reply
  28. TRUTH | December 22, 2008 at 10:00 pm

    PARIS HILTON IS GUILTY OF FEDERAL CRIMES AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND BRANDON M. WITTE, A 32 YEAR OLD MAN FROM ARLINGTON, TEXAS. GOOGLE HIS NAME WITH : PARIS HILTON, RICK HILTON (HER FATHER,) AND NICKY HILTON. ALSO, GO TO PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND NICKY HILTON ASKMEN.COM FOR MORE PROOF OF THE FEDERAL CRIMES.

    Reply
  29. REALITY | December 22, 2008 at 10:03 pm

    PARIS HILTON AND RICK HILTON ARE GUILTY OF FEDERAL CRIMES AGAINST BRANDON M. WITTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  30. PARIS IS GOING TO PRISON | December 22, 2008 at 10:04 pm

    FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS AND BRANDON M. WITTE. GO TO PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND NICKY HILTON ASKMEN.COM FOR MORE INFORMATION.

    Reply
  31. PARIS IS GOING TO PRISON | December 22, 2008 at 10:06 pm

    GO TO PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND NICKY HILTON ASKMEN.COM AND READ ALL COMMENTS!

    Reply

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