Paris Hilton: Kim Kardashian isn’t fat

April 16th, 2008 // 177 Comments

Paris Hilton, who, sadly, has no ass of her own, trashed Kim Kardashian’s gargantuan back porch on Monday. Here’s what Paris had to say while shocking the world with her uncanny metaphorical skills. InTouch reports:

“I would not want [Kim's butt] – it’s gross!” Paris told a Las Vegas radio show on April 14. “It reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.”

But then Paris inexplicably pulled a 180 last night and apologized to her arch-rival:

“I was just joking around and I made a stupid joke,” Paris tells In Touch exclusively. “I felt really bad afterward, so I contacted Kim and apologized. It was a silly thing to say. Kim’s hot!” Kim accepts the apology, telling In Touch, “Paris and I have been friends since we were kids and I’m glad she made the effort to say she’s sorry.”

I figured, of all people, Paris Hilton would have the fortitude to stand by her convictions. I mean, it’s not everyday she whips out a pearl like Kim’s ass “reminds me of cottage cheese inside a big trash bag.” I’m surprised after such a mental output, Paris didn’t immediately collapse and require mouth-to-mouth. Of course, if Benji were in the can, she would’ve died because DJ’s don’t get hazard pay. I know from my days hosting a radio show at a shooting range. It was called “WHAT? HUH? MAN DOWN! in the Morning.”

NOTE: Obligatory ass shot here. Let it never be said I’m not a bastion of traditional journalistic standards.

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  1. Anonymous

    This skank continues to nauseate me.

    Actually, Paris Hilton was almost correct. Kardashaskank IS cottage cheese in a garbage bag.

  2. jeff

    I think it’s gross that the guy in photo #4 is giving head to the pap that is taking Kim’s photo. Yuuuuck!

  3. I’d take Paris’ ass over Kim’s anyday! Even with the herpes!

    So, the spammer posters (like #1) can’t even put together a sentence correctly. No wonder they are posting spam for like $2/hr. Shit, even Paris can talk/type better than those morons.

  4. slan

    Parisite-no-ass-Milton doesn’t have the right to comment

  5. roastbeef

    she’s the only human being on earth that wears that much orange eyeshadow

  6. Poonmoon

    I don’t like Kimmy chunkass, but I fucking HATE Paris. Lookit you filthy little skeleton assed whoreweasel we can insult Kim, we the people who you and Kim have whored yourself out to for the worthless trappings of fame, but you Paris, the vilest celebrity to ever walk the face of the earth can insult no one, not even Hitler, because standing next to him people would still say;
    “Wow what a fucking bitch.”

  7. Kurt

    It does not look like Kim is wearing her girdle with butt pads today because her huge ass looks flat and wider!

  8. Anonymous

    Hey #1, Du Qiang, you’re going to be reported…….

  9. Harro

    Harro

  10. Arligt

    numb3;
    Yeah, that poor guy is evidently not capable of escaping the cheese-lump heading towards him fast enough. But we all knew from the beginning that this would by time get real nasty. This killer-mozarella has set her way on her victims for good now, god dammit!

    Okey, I have no sense of humor. And by the way; sorry Paris. Your clever little line has lost all the tingling thrill now when I have exposed it to my little wannabe-funny swedish humor. I guess all I wanted to contribute with was the statement that this happy fella lacks in coordination.

  11. tp

    Kim’s not fat, you’d be suprised at how small she actually is in real life.

  12. FromOutOfNoWhere

    Oh yeah, damn Kim is hot, I would ride that tail all night long. But I wouldn’t touch Paris with a 50 foot pole

  13. Paris Hilton

    Like, I didn’t mean to say Kim is fat. I meant to say Kim is obese.

  14. Dick Bush

    PIC ONE: CHER REDUX

    0o____o0

  15. Mandy

    I’d take a curvy ass with a little bit of cellulite over a flat boy-body twelve year-old ass any day, any time. And I know 90% of the guys I talk to think Paris Hilton is a disgusting back of useless flesh!

  16. Aerialgreen

    Labios de mamadora

  17. Erik

    Who cares what the faggot commenters on this site say – I’d fuck Kim anytime, anywhere. God damn she’s the hottest thing around these days.

    Paris who?

  18. Aerialgreen

    Labios hechos para chupar verga

  19. dude

    Hairy ass iranian Ho.
    Oh maybe she’s a HIHO: A Hairy Iranian Huge Ass

    Regarding today’s posts, I’m imagining a child with:

    Rob Lowe’s Chin
    Debbie Gibson’s Nose
    Kim Lardassian’s Ass
    Paris Hilton’s feet
    all stuffed into Britney Spear’s boots and for the cherry on the sundae,

    Randal’s personality.

    Behold your antichrist.

  20. Chris

    #16

    Paris Herpes underweight.

    Kim Kardaskank overweight.

    Eva Longoria hot!

  21. Will

    #12

    You are so right. Kim is small in height but fat!

  22. Aerialgreen

    @ 18: Erik, granted, she is more than fuckable, doggie style by the way, but only if there is no talking and she takes the fucking tranny/clown make up off her face.

  23. Josh

    @@16

    I don’t want a fat chick with a big ass and big thighs with cellulite like Kim and implants.

    I don’t want an underweight chick like Paris.

    I want a chick that maintains her weight and exercises unlike Kim and Paris.

  24. Smitty

    Paris is just pissed because someone who was pissed on is still incredibly cleaner and more doable then herself or as I like to call her, gigantor the dick inhaling manbeast. Kim stepping out of a Golden shower and Paris a regular shower and I’d still have to say Kim wins hands down on the who’s cleaner contest.

  25. nipolian

    This is hard to believe, but the last post proved that there is only a small degree of seperation between Heidi Montag and Amazonian deforestation. Amazing.

  26. Dee

    It was nice of Fish to include an ass shot for all the latents.

  27. Fred

    /23

    Can you imagine doing her doggie style and spanking her cellulite ass and watching it jiggle!

    Yikes Kim’s a major turn off!

  28. Gia

    Yeah Paris is mad because a fat chick is considered hot by some people.

  29. amused

    It’s a little bit of a challenge to tell the difference between gay guys criticizing Kim and bitter women using male names to criticize Kim. They always dominate the first part of a thread about her because the hetero guys have to finish rubbing one out first.

  30. Grace

    Speaking of Amazonian deforestation, how much wax do you think they use every day on Kim’s buttcrack?

  31. yepitsme

    I want Kim to sit on my face and suffocate me with her hot round ass

  32. Hi Kim Kardaskank!

    #30 (A.K.A Kim)

    lol!

    Kim enough already!

    Go eat some fried oreos!

  33. Hi Kim Kardaskank!

    #30 (A.K.A Kim)

    lol!

    Kim enough already!

    Go eat some fried oreos!

  34. Hi Kim Kardaskank!

    #30 (A.K.A Kim)

    lol!

    Kim enough already!

    Go eat some fried oreos!

  35. Yo Yo Kim Kardaskank

    ##30

    lol!

    The only men that beat off to Kim are creeps lol!

    And of course Gays like Kim because she puts on so much make up like a drag queen.

    And Kim I know this is you because you hang out with ghetto men and they talk the way you are posting these comments lol!

  36. funny

    Gawd, of course Kim Kardashian is not fat, her body is a fucking perfect dream, this just proves my point even more: it’s jealous chicks with bodies like Paris Hilton’s and fat chicks who say Kim is fat. You know, Paris, the assless, curveless stick, says Kim’s ass is gross and that she’s fat and that curvy means fat. LMAO, that’s what she wishes so her disgusting curvless and flat body wouldn’t be so not hot. It’s chicks with no ass and no curves who say big butts are gross and that chicks with some waist to hips ratio are fat. Their boyfriends secretly jerk off to Kim. And so does Benji. I bet he has a stash of sexy Kim Kardashian pictures on his computer and jerks off to her daily, and Paris found out, that’s why she said that about Kim. Or she simply heard her boyfriend say Kim was hot, like all the jealous haters on here, that’s why she hates her. BTW, Paris is lame, and no wonder why she and Kim aren’t friends anymore: Kim has way too much class for a cheap no-class jealous bitch like Paris Hilton. Hilton is the trash, actually.

  37. I think the Fish dude has the hots for Kim K. it seems to come up with Kim post late in the day and leaves them up all night.

    Is Sambo the Ass Pirate really the Fish Dude??

  38. Trent

    #37 Funny (A.K.A Kim)

    How about the chicks that maintain their figure and exercise? You failed to mention this group of females lol! You only mention the underweight chicks or fat chicks like Kim lol!

    You keep on posting the same message Kim. You must have this standard comment saved to your computer lol!

    If you/Kim was so hot then why does she need to wear a girdle with butt pads?

    If you/Kim was so hot then why does she have to cover her hedious big rear end with a sarong when she wears a swim suit lol!

    Kim is cute but fat; end of story.

    Now Kim go eat some junk food and feel better.

  39. I love how jealous chicks hate Kim

    She even makes Paris Hilton jealous, to the point she embarrasses herself in public like that out of pure jealousy. Wow, Kim Kardashian is even more amazing than I thought. Not only is she the hottest woman in the world, the most hated by females and the most wanted by men, now even celebrities are showing her extreme jealousy towards her. Just, wow. Kim’s hotness is worth every penny of all that jealousy.

  40. I love how jealous chicks hate Kim

    She even makes Paris Hilton jealous, to the point she embarrasses herself in public like that out of pure jealousy. Wow, Kim Kardashian is even more amazing than I thought. Not only is she the hottest woman in the world, the most hated by females and the most wanted by men, now even celebrities are showing thier extreme jealousy towards her. Just, wow. Kim’s hotness is worth every penny of all that jealousy.

  41. JJ

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

    KIM IS NOT WEARING HER GIRDLE WITH BUTT PADS CUZ HER HUGE BUTT LOOKS WIDE AND FLAT LOL!

  42. yaykim

    seriously, Kim is rediculously hot….give me a little something to grab on to and Im a happy man(and im not even black)…..i bet her p*ssy is sweet as candy

  43. Josh

    She’s not fat, but she’s disgusting.

    She’s a hood rat slut. I asked this before, who wants a woman who’s been used up by a bunch of wannabe thugs?

  44. Tim

    41—-Paris Herpes is jealous of everyone. When Paris appeared on Saturday Night Live, she asked the writers to write a skit that would allow her to call a lot of female celebrities fat. The writers said no way.

    Kim is attractive but fat and some guys like fat women and the fat chicks look up to Kim.

  45. Harry

    @43

    I love fat chicks too because they are so grateful that I do not call them fat but curvy!

    Kim is a sexy fat chick and she does porn too!

  46. Wendy

    I hate the potato sack dress style but on fat chicks I guess it works because it hides their huge butt and they don’t have to wear a girdle.

  47. Jake

    #37

    I heard that Paris and Kim are not friends anymore because Kim needs a friend that likes to eat and Paris obviously eats less than 1,000 calories a day and Kim eats 3,000 calories a day. This is why we always see Kim with fat or obese friends.

  48. Auntie Kryst

    I’m kind of stumped on how to turn this story into insulting Keem as a thieving gypsy whorebot.. Where the hell did D. Richards go?

  49. the mental hater is out already, beware!

    #39

    Trent? gender issues? mental issues? both? do you actually think anyone here believes you exercise? I mean, you belong in a psychiatric hospital, you have jealousy issues, you’re obsessed with Kim Kardashian to an unhealthy extreme, you have anger issues, you have no self-esteem, you are retarded, you have no life, you have gender issues, you have mental issues, you spend all day sitting in front of your freakin computer on TheSuperficial.com probably because you have no life because no one wants you in the real world, and neither does anyone on the internet. How the fuck can you claim you’re healthy and that you exercise when you are 24/7 sitting in front of your computer? It wouldn’t hurt you to get out a little, you know… try to get a life. And, BTW, did you catch your boyfriend jerking off to Kim Kardashian last night again?

  50. #50 (A.K.A Kim or a Fat Chick)

    39

    I think most of us have desk jobs and go on this site for amusement.

    If pretending that people are jealous of fat Kim make you happy then so be it.

    And if fantasizing about creeps jerking off to Kim float your boat then so be it.

    Kim is nice looking but fat.

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