Paris Hilton is…I don’t even know

April 4th, 2009 // 51 Comments

She’s always been skinny, but Paris Hilton looks ridiculous here. There’s like six too many angles on her body. She has the knees and elbows of a 90-year-old woman and, judging by her outfit, the senility of one as well. Did she actually look in the mirror and think to herself, “This is something I want people to see me in”? You could put together a better outfit with some glue and glitter.

Photos: Fame
superficial

  1. manbo

    i found my teddy ruxpin today in my attic!!!

  2. hmm

    i hate the faces she pulls and how she tries to act sweet. who the hell is she anyway. get a nose job!

  3. i found my detachable penis lying there

  4. SOS

    her boyfriend is way too hot

  5. britney's weave

    “This is something [I want people to see me] in.”

    that’s really all that matters.

  6. lina

    she looks good! you don’t know what you are writing!

  7. smarg

    A vapid no-talent whore seeking attention.

    Why do we give it to her?

  8. lina

    she looks good! you don’t know what you are writing! “writer”

  9. ok lina, you can stfu now.. kthanx

  10. azalea

    CHICKEN LEGS!!

  11. SOS

    “kthanx” oh god, you did not just say that.

  12. Monkey's Bone

    Fugly little troll

  13. Rhialto

    What is this? Is she wearing a disco-ball?

  14. Galtacticus

    We don’t know these people folks! It just happens to be they’re coincidental posted here!

  15. douchey

    lately all i’ve seen her in is sparkly short dresses and ankle boots. FLATTERING

  16. Kahil Gibran

    Did she hurt her back?

  17. Why does homeboy always look like hes holding her hostage…

  18. ikkyff

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!
    obviously stevie wonder dressed her.

  19. Nero

    At least that corset brings some shape in her body!

  20. BRANDONMWITTE@AOL.COM

    PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS & MYSELF.

    PARIS HILTON’S CRIMINAL FATHER RICK HILTON GOT INVOLVED IN THE FEDERAL CRIMES IN MAY 2008 WHEN HE BRIBED SOMEONE AT THE ASSOCIATED PRESS TO BLOCK PARIS HILTON’S “SAVING THE DRUNK ELEPHANTS IN INDIA” STORY IN A DIRECT & BLATANT ATTEMPT TO TRY & SHIELD PARIS HILTON FROM FEDERAL PROSECUTION.

    FOR MORE INFORMATION, GOOGLE MY NAME (BRANDON M. WITTE) WITH THE NAMES: PARIS HILTON, RICK HILTON, & NICKY HILTON.

    THE WEB SITES PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM & NICKY HILTON ASKMEN.COM CONTAIN ALLEGATIONS OF HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIME COMMITTED BY PARIS HILTON & RICK HILTON AGAINST ME GOING BACK TO MAY 2008.

    THIS INFORMATION CAN ALSO BE FOUND AT: BRITNEY SPEARS ASKMEN.COM, ANGELINA JOLIE ASKMEN.COM, JENNIFER ANISTON ASKMEN.COM, MEG RYAN ASKMEN.COM, JULIA ROBERTS ASKMEN.COM, MEG RYAN ASKMEN.COM, KIM KARDASHIAN ASKMEN.COM, NICOLE RICHIE ASKMEN.COM, & EVA LONGORIA ASKMEN.COM.

    THIS IS WHY PARIS HILTON’S CHILDHOOD FRIENDS KIM KARDASHIAN & NICOLE RICHIE NO LONGER SPEAK TO PARIS HILTON.

    THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY DISGUSTED WITH HER HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 32

  21. Galtacticus

    That mouth shot in pic 4 is nearly perfect.But still not yet.

  22. boo

    Brandon, are you freaking INSANE? Give it up already!

  23. Rhialto

    Somebody didn’t read the regulations here! No spam! It will be removed!

  24. Wonder whos the lucky celeb will be stalk by “Brandom M. Witte”. probably off his medz today…

  25. Buzz "Scrotum" Sacks

    I heard a rumor – I can’t remember where – that Paris Hilton is currently evading Federal prosecution for heinous crimes. I wonder if anyone else has heard this rumor?

    BTW, her outfit like it was put together with some glue and glitter.

  26. Sauron

    I’m a bit bored today! Any spammers here??

  27. catapostrophe

    Writer, you’re missing a question mark.

  28. Lindalou

    BRANDON M. WITTE they are using your IP address to track and kidnap you. They want to erase every trace of you. Including you.

  29. kels

    Wow, I think Brandon Witte needs a hobby.

  30. ishi-san

    I’m afraid this is his hobby!

  31. Angry Face

    So whats your point Brandon? Im confussed.

  32. violet

    DELETE THAT SHIT!!!

  33. mikeock

    when did this site become a restroom wall at the bus terminal? Fuck off Brandon Witte

  34. ishi-san

    No it would be interesting if Brandon had actually something to tell. But all he does is making you look up non-existent sites. If at least this had the purpose of giving us viruses or something….. I’m confused too!

  35. Brandon is just upset that Paris gave him super herpes that warped him into a giant crab. You know silly stuff.

  36. neodammerung

    meanwhile in Paris’ crotch:

    Huge herpes lesion: Mr Valtrex! We missed you. Do you like what I’ve done with the place?

    Valtrex: It ends tonight.

    Huge herpes lesion: I know it does! I’ve seen it. That’s why the rest of the lesions are going to sit back and watch the show. Because we already know that I am the one that beats you!

  37. catapostrophe

    Writer, thanks for adding that question mark. Now you just need to lose that period, and you’ll have yourself a proper sentence. Hooray!

  38. If the 1920s had been set in the future this is what it would have looked like.

  39. line

    “writer”
    you suck!!!

  40. SATAN

    does she not realize that it looks like she has a head on top of her head

  41. SATAN

    it honestly looks like she’s growing an extra skull on the top of her head

  42. RichPort's Ghost

    I’d hit that bony bitch. In the face. With my chubby little fist.

  43. kelsey

    “This outfit is missing something….ah yes, fingerless sports gloves, COMPLETE”

  44. greenfairy

    Looks like she’s been getting into Lady Gaga’s wardrobe…the crap she threw away…

  45. Paris Has Herpes

    Paris Hilton’s fans = retarded whores

  46. rekk

    Paris Hilton’s fans = Brandon Witte

  47. Rhialto

    Since when does she have an extended skull?

  48. Amaranth

    am I the only one who thinks she is fugly? I don’t understand why the media likes to cover her when she has nothing other then her parent’s money.

  49. Missystar

    Yechhh…look at her fuckin’ knees. All the skin is scraped off. Why am I not surprised.

  50. chupacabra

    I’m looking forward to the day he marries her, then divorces her for cheating, and gets HALF. That will ROCK.

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