Paris Hilton reportedly has huge portraits of herself covering her home, and when guests arrived to her birthday party they were asked to sign a giant poster of her face. A reporter from the London Mirror says:
“Upon entry, guests were handed silver pens and told to write gushing messages on a gigantic portrait of the ever-modest party hostess.” Hanging in the living room was an enormous picture of Hilton, and when guests entered the dining room – yet another “gargantuan” portrait of the heiress. Revelers were treated to fortune cookies, and the message inside each of them was the same: “Happy Birthday Paris.”
Nothing Paris Hilton does could surprise me anymore. She could have a giant amusement park in her living room called Paris Hilton Land and it’d make sense. Every night she probably kisses a lifesize cardboard cutout of herself before crawling into a giant scultpure of her head and falling asleep.
okiedoke | March 8, 2007 at 1:15 pm
First!
okiedoke | March 8, 2007 at 1:16 pm
First!
HughJorganthethird | March 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm
I heard the entire party was sponsored by Valtrex.
danielle | March 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm
Jerk!
..I mean 2nd!
crestlin | March 8, 2007 at 1:18 pm
LMAO! self centered biaaach. die.
danielle | March 8, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Damn…6th
F-Sucker | March 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm
I’d like her to crawl ON my head.
I’d wax that self-indulgent diseased ass.
Lowlands | March 8, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Allright then,now i’m going to start for sure with the taxadministration.
Bugman4045 | March 8, 2007 at 1:22 pm
Still no cure for Herpes!
Mr.Eps | March 8, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Will someone kill her already?
GooniesNeverSayDie | March 8, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Most annoying comments on The Superficial:
1. “First” (or anything denoting your place in line. Lame and by far the dumbest tradition on this otherwise perfect website)
2. “I’d still hit that.” or any other derivation of the notion that although the person in question is featured on the Superficial, you would still have sex with said person. People who say this are the least likely to not be having any real sex in their lives.
3. Anything related to Paris Hilton. Just so boring at this point. Nobody has any original jokes about her anymore because they have all been told already. It doesnt help that she does the same things over and over, also.
4. Moral or holier than thou rants that call out people for making fun of others. Why do you come to this site in the first place?
I have to admit that I am still partial to Britney posts, simply because at least she is trying to keep it fresh. One day she borrows a bikini, the next day she shaves her head, the next day she tries to kill herself. That is pretty cool, at least.
Jiimbo | March 8, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Can we cut a hole where her mouth is and hump it? Wait, that is wht have sex with Paris is like in real life. Never mind.
HerpesHilton | March 8, 2007 at 1:36 pm
Can you smell the herpes?
volcanoesmeltme | March 8, 2007 at 1:36 pm
also annoying #11 are people who feel the need regulate commenting of other people, it is the Superficial for christ’s sake. say what you want to say, but don’t take it so seriously as if there is proper ettiquette to making fun of a young starlett’s snatch or whatever else happens to be up for banter.
F-Sucker | March 8, 2007 at 1:36 pm
#11
Next most annoying comment:
People complaining about annoying comments.
And people complaining about people complaining about annoying comments after that.
schack | March 8, 2007 at 1:37 pm
i have a mole on my inner thigh with four, count them, FOUR, hairs growing out of it.
which is more hair than paris has growing out of her head, once you unclip the hair-extensions.
i wonder if she knows those extensions used to belong to real people, or if she thinks that hair just grows on hair bushes.
fritobandito | March 8, 2007 at 1:42 pm
WHORE!
fritobandito | March 8, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Sorry, I meant STUPID WHORE!
fritobandito | March 8, 2007 at 1:44 pm
I’d punch that. And thats not my way of saying I’d hit that, I really would punch her.
guymorgan | March 8, 2007 at 1:51 pm
AIDS/HERPES JOKE GOES HERE
PhillyGossip.com | March 8, 2007 at 2:02 pm
This bitch continues to amaze. She has the world wrapped around her smelly vagina finger
FlameThem.COM | March 8, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Paris, seriously, you are annoying as all sh!t, but you make for good copy.
LL | March 8, 2007 at 2:08 pm
What this story doesn’t say is that Paris soon had all the giant portraits removed after Hitler moustaches, missing teeth and gigantic male genitalia adjacent to her mouth suddenly appeared on them. I myself drew Cisco Adler’s misshapen balls dangling just above her gaping mouth. I think I captured them well (the balls and Paris’ mouth). I’d like to see Picasso do any better. Especially now that he’s dead. Take that, Picasso!
jakebarnes | March 8, 2007 at 2:10 pm
On one of those boring ParisExposed videos, her boyfriend even said that the most likely person to jack off to the naked video he was making of Paris would be Paris herself. That cracked me up.
Tits_McGhee | March 8, 2007 at 2:11 pm
She probably has a shrine of her in her house with blessed semen in a platinum dish beside it to cleanse your hands before kneeling to pray to her Glamour Shot.
ponk | March 8, 2007 at 2:22 pm
a giant poster of paris hilton’s face…what i wouldn’t give for a bottle of white-out…
blondi | March 8, 2007 at 2:30 pm
#16 – hair bushes – I lol’d. Hilarious!
Spindoc | March 8, 2007 at 2:42 pm
Is she posing Every second of every day? Why don’t we EVER see any candid shots of her? Come on Paparazzi, I KNOW you can get some shots of her picking her nose or getting her hair stuck in her car door. We’re counting on you.
Oh, and as for Paris. She just looks like she smells of Tan Accelerator, Bleach, and Neosporin.
schack | March 8, 2007 at 2:43 pm
i love blondi.
neosporin? why not vicks vapor rub?
fame is funny | March 8, 2007 at 2:50 pm
Everyone that comes to her house also signs her REAL face. With semen.
ElatedPornStar | March 8, 2007 at 3:37 pm
#30: What a tease.
icess64 | March 8, 2007 at 3:45 pm
#7…you made me throw up in my mouth a little.
And I’m a nursing student. It’s hard to gross me out. But we are talking about Paris, so the vomit is ready and waiting…
TashaVin` | March 8, 2007 at 4:19 pm
Wasn’t it normal back when…. to have paintings of yourself in your home??
my opinion | March 8, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Yes #34, it was common to have paintings of yourself in your home if you were a King of England or France. Paris is just a narcissist.
WTF? | March 8, 2007 at 5:34 pm
-Lookin just a *liiittle* bit more like mom every day. -Sucks for her.
imrankarim | March 8, 2007 at 6:02 pm
typical
imran karim
licklick | March 8, 2007 at 6:08 pm
The scum guests were illiterate so all Paris got were some scrawled “X”s. Which didn’t bother her ’cause she can’t read anyway.
wink | March 8, 2007 at 10:55 pm
she looks JUST like her mother in these photographs
Stink | March 9, 2007 at 12:28 am
The only this I would gush on this twit’s portrait is a regurgitated tuna hoagie I ate a few hours ago, which ironically smells just like Paris’s baloney muffin.
Stink | March 9, 2007 at 12:32 am
‘The only thing’, not ‘The only this’. Celebrity revulsion makes me stupider than normal.
flauccinaucinihilipilifcation | March 9, 2007 at 12:46 am
Ohhh…how i wish it were like the Picture of Dorian Grey…..
WTFiswrongwithUppl | March 9, 2007 at 12:56 am
Mission accomplished. She already gave everyone in Hollywood the herps. What more is there for her to do?
Hasn’t anyone asked her where she got them from? That would be a great headline!
doogleberg | March 9, 2007 at 7:24 am
I’m hoping she’ll die of ego poisoning.
MrSemprini | March 9, 2007 at 7:30 am
Could some scientist out there please perfect head transplants so I can get my wife’s head on Paris’ body? I mean, if something isn’t done soon, PH is going to ruin that body. There oughta be a law!
wedgeone | March 9, 2007 at 7:40 am
#44 – You’d better hope that science first invents a way to rid her body of the herpes and scads of other STD’s running in her veins. Or else your wife will be extremely pissed.
Paris has already ruined her body. How did you miss that?
Questions: when an artist paints a portrait of Paris, does he include the wonky eye? How about painting her with her REAL eye color & not with the colored contacts? Does said artist get fired if the portrait has a feature that she doesn’t like, even though it plainly exists on her? Like fake hair, coke dust under the nostrils, and the aforementioned wonky eye?
Chemicakitty | March 9, 2007 at 10:22 am
Wonkytastic!
Kait | March 9, 2007 at 11:25 am
“Nothing Paris Hilton does could surprise me anymore” Couldn’t have said it better myself, fish-man.
Kait | March 9, 2007 at 11:26 am
11…So true, so true, so very true.
iNick | March 11, 2007 at 7:11 pm
She renades JT’s “Im bringin sexxy back”, Paris’ version: “Im Bringin HERPES back” (and it’s not a song either)
paris | March 11, 2007 at 10:07 pm
not nice! dont tzalk about me like that =(
anyways, my fan sn is parisxxislove if anyone has anything nice to say.=*