In her interview with Elle magazine, Paris Hilton reveals she’s the most awesomest girl on the planet and so talented she makes Mozart look like horse shit. She says:
“I
 |
Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
 Lady Gaga Reveals Her Eating Disorder – Huffington Post | |
| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
Jennifer Lopez Smacks Marc Anthony On Camera (VIDEO) |
Kissing Connection: Justin Bieber's Past & Present Loves (VIDEO) |
Kristen Stewart's Movie Roles Through the Years (PHOTOS) |
Adam Levine Signs 'Glee' Guy to New Label, Poses For Terry Richardson (PHOTOS) |
Camila Alves Flashes Engagement Ring, Talks Wedding Plans (PHOTOS) |
'Madly in Love' Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Hang Tight in Los Angeles |
scarlett138 | April 10, 2006 at 7:46 pm
HAH! someone’s full of shit, as usual
TaiTai | April 10, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Wow! I never realized she was so talented at other things besides exposing herself and getting drunk and contracting social diseases! Now I understand why guys want to sleep with her. Thanks for clearing that up, Paris.
bloodyvictim | April 10, 2006 at 7:48 pm
An additional plus is that not only can you have sex with her vagina, but there are multiple herpes lacerations to choose from as well! Yay! Three cheers for the Herp!
DivaG81 | April 10, 2006 at 7:51 pm
I am a singer, and I sing a lot of Mozart, and somehow I think Paris might fall a little short in the vocal department…or in being great at anything that doesn’t include getting naked and acting stupid. But then again, Mozart never had herpes so I guess she beats him at something after all.
little_miss_perfect | April 10, 2006 at 7:51 pm
“The envelope, please.”
“And the award for International Miss Congeniality 2006 goes to……(drumroll)……..Paris Hilton’s vagina!!!”
“Unfortunately, Paris’s vagina could not be here to accept this award, so Lindsay Lohan’s will be accepting it on Paris’s behalf.”
little_miss_perfect | April 10, 2006 at 7:52 pm
Um, #4, Mozart didn’t sing….he was a composer….no words.
eXtasyStef | April 10, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Please, it’s hard enough listening to Paris. If her nethers start speaking…
Stepheroo | April 10, 2006 at 7:56 pm
Her ego is so big you could use it as a pool float. Maybe she should hook up with K-Fed once he blows all of Brtittney’s $$$. Neither of them are picky about sex partners and they both think they can sing. Sounds like a match made in Hell.
OOOH, I just had the image of what their kid might look like. Do you think Listerine would work as an eyewash? I keep seeing a baby in a fedora with a horrable herpes rash…ugh!
always answer b | April 10, 2006 at 7:58 pm
When the worldwide boycott of this bitch starts, someone pleae sign me up.
Wild Rose | April 10, 2006 at 8:00 pm
#6–DivaG81 probably meant she sings a lot of Mozart–as in “The Magic Flute”, etc.
Wow, Paris is sooo multi-talented, it’s a real shame she cheapens herself with her daily antics. What an inflated ego!
educatedguess | April 10, 2006 at 8:09 pm
Thanks #10, but I don’t think you were harsh enough on retarded little #6. Mozart’s Magic Flute is one of the greatest Operas ever written, and I’m pretty sure that most, if not all of the Queen of the Night’s arias have words…please someone, take “little_miss_perfect” to lincon center…
Oh, and Paris Hilton is a desease ridden whore who doesn’t deserve this much attention.
mamacita | April 10, 2006 at 8:10 pm
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to punch her in the throat as much as I do at this moment. I mean, I always want to punch her in the throat, just not THIS much. What a dumb bitch.
Trotter | April 10, 2006 at 8:13 pm
If she’s greater than Mozart, and Mozart died of Mercury poisoning in efforts to cure his syphilis, what will Paris die of?
ablet | April 10, 2006 at 8:21 pm
Is Paris Hilton attractive? Not really. Is she a badass who can apparently do everything? If she says so! Now I don’t feel guilty having her picture plastered all over my room.
Pearly | April 10, 2006 at 8:23 pm
#13 Zovirax poisoning? I can only hope although I was thinking she deserves something bloodier.
delirium | April 10, 2006 at 8:30 pm
Um.. yeah… #6, perhaps you’re not aware that composers often compose music with “words” like operas for example (re #s 10 and 11). Or I guess you haven’t heard what is probably his most widely recognizable piece, “Requiem.” Yeah… it has words. Easier and cheaper than going to the Lincoln Center, just rent Amadeus.
Anyway, I definitely have a hard time imagining Paris stretching that perpetually monotone, oh-so-blase voice into anything that resembles “singing”.
chilichz | April 10, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Paris Hilton and her crack-whore mother and sister annoy me more than a persistent toenail fungus. take away her fake contact lenses,hair extensions,and capped teeth and you got a transsexual Chewbacca-looking clown prostitute. Screw the illegal immigration issues..somebody find a way to deport her and her syphillis to Osama Bin Laden’s bedroom.
MeganHarris | April 10, 2006 at 8:42 pm
I have to admit, I heard 1 song from her album, and I do think she has a good voice, as far a a pop star is concerned….
Listen to “Screwed”, it not THAT bad:
http://uslessthings.blogspot.com/2006/03/paris-hilton-songs.html
Chris'sMom | April 10, 2006 at 8:46 pm
So many things to comment about on this one.
What’s with the color of her hair in this pic? Is it just a bad photo job?
I could only imagine what Paris is singing about. Maybe how many guys she has slept with…and given herpes to. I don’t think she could fit all of those names on one album. Perhaps a compilation is in the works.
I have drawn my own thoery that Paris Hilton’s vagina has actually been used so much that it has collapsed into itself thus turning into a black whole. Only this black whole has a colony of man eating herpes that feed off all the man meat her vag sucks in. Like a big ugly vacuum effect.
Oh and by the way #1 if by full of shit you mean diseases and sperm then you are correct.
heifferzzz | April 10, 2006 at 8:52 pm
Here’s another outstanding quote from Paris, ‘My acting coach told me that I have a similar style of acting to Charlize Theron, so we may end up vying for the same parts.’ Puh-hahahaha!! She needs to be locked away! Clearly her syphillis has advanced to the mentally insane stage, or is that gonorrhea? Meh, BOTH!
Chris'sMom | April 10, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Wow…#19 I agree. She does have a good voice. I think I would prefer listening to that instead of Britney Spears. But could you imagine how that flock of preteen girl fans would turn out. Sad. Either way really. Paris teaches them to not latch on to anybody, but to get STD’s and be stick skinny. Or Britney teaches them to latch onto anything you can somewhat call a man and produce child after child. Turning themselves into fat trashy looking people while doing it.
Please note, before I get all kinds of backlash, I am not suggesting in any way that having more that one child, having children while young, or having children in general makes you trashy. It does make you fat for a while but you work it off. That is if you don’t continue to stuff your face with cheetos.
suzy | April 10, 2006 at 9:03 pm
“I
thatsnothot | April 10, 2006 at 9:04 pm
#18- i listened to her song and i’m honestly not too impressed. i thought it would have been better since nowadays anyone can be a singer as long as you have money and good back-up singers. not surprisingly, it doesn’t even sound like her singing..
robsss | April 10, 2006 at 9:05 pm
I’d like to 2nd #17′s motion!
If I ever have a daughter, It’s going to happen right after Paris dies. I can’t stand to think that my poor children might actually have to set eyes on such a heinous and grossly disturbing human being(if you can call her human).
The pop culture phenomena this immature “paris” girl is leaving in her wake is disturbing at the least. For your sake. For your children’s sake. Stay away from the skank!
Cause that’s exactly what this world needs, all the prissy little teenage girls trying to act like Paris Hilton and have sex with anything that moves. And by anything that moves, I mean ANYTHING.
Pez_D_Spencer | April 10, 2006 at 9:06 pm
I supsect Ms. Hilton has a lot of experience with The Magic Flute. Or the skin flute, whichever.
And she doesn’t look at pilled-up in that picture.
downshine | April 10, 2006 at 9:06 pm
franz ferdinand is the shit
heifferzzz | April 10, 2006 at 9:07 pm
hehe! wait in that ‘caught up in the rapture’ song of hers, the rapper calls her a GOLD-DIGGER!! …so what is it you were saying again ms hilton?! dumb infested cunt!
LaPrincesse | April 10, 2006 at 9:08 pm
“I write books.”
Certainly nothing of consequence.
Trotter | April 10, 2006 at 9:13 pm
#15 – Zovirax – that hurts. And it hurts so good. I was thinking she’d end up exploding from a massive yeast buildup, but you took the cake.
Grphdesi23 | April 10, 2006 at 9:14 pm
I heard K-Fed has been hired as her music producer/choreographer.
ablet | April 10, 2006 at 9:16 pm
Whoever posted that song and said it is anything beyond complete shit is an idiot and represents everything I hate about the world.
There is nothing good about that song. No, seriously, her voice is just fine, but that doesn’t mean she should ever be allowed to open her mouth for anything except a blow job.
xAgonyxScenex | April 10, 2006 at 9:43 pm
shes ugly and untalented. she wouldnt be anywhere if it wasnt for the sex tape
Mr. Fritz | April 10, 2006 at 9:44 pm
Anyone can sing better than Britney. I like the title of her song “Screwed”. It is fitting because she’s a walking poster for STD prevention.
PapaHotNuts | April 10, 2006 at 9:45 pm
A couple of years ago, I actually wanted to get a little pussy from Paris Hilton. Then I finally saw it, I knew that there was no way to a get a little pussy from Paris, only a huge pussy, bigger than a catcher’s mitt, but you can only fit five fingers in a catcher’s mitt, and they don’t tend to turn black and rot off when you put them in the glove.
Paris Hilton writes books. And Oprah is a young, poor, white girl from Russia. And the Saints will win the SuperBowl next year. And Paltrow’s baby will be the baddest motherfucker on the streets of Compton. And I love my ex-wife.
Somebody else make some more shit up. It’s fun and everyone here is hilarious. I actually mean that.
Leslie | April 10, 2006 at 9:49 pm
I have a question… like, when she says this stuff, is she actually serious? Or is she saying it b/c she knows it pisses people off? I’d really love to know.
Italian Stallion | April 10, 2006 at 9:52 pm
Ok, Ryan Seacrest kisses women….the Orioles are gonna win the world series….Tom Cruise is a Christian….Jessica Simpson knows something…..Michael Jackson never touched those Children…Oh, and George Bush loves black people……..
BarbadoSlim | April 10, 2006 at 10:00 pm
Oh my God this festering skank is fouling up my monitor, I have to get a HazMat team here STAT!
Italian Stallion | April 10, 2006 at 10:08 pm
I forgot one more, Paris Hilton can sing…..ok i’m done…..sorry
mamacita | April 10, 2006 at 10:08 pm
@36
Michael Jackson didn’t molest those children. He made love to them. OK, OK, I know that’s horribly wrong, but I saw it on a t-shirt. Offensive, yes, but still funny.
mamacita | April 10, 2006 at 10:10 pm
Kanye West is a modest man………..Mission Impossible:3 will be an awesome movie………….Pancakes are yucky………….Egg salad smells grrrrrreat…………and Teri Hatcher looks very dewy and fresh-faced
beeotch | April 10, 2006 at 10:10 pm
#34 and #36, you guys are awesome! She is a mess. I wish her parents would file for bankruptcy , so she can finally become the piece of white trash she has always aspired to be…I can see her already, with her prescription for Valtrex and Zovirax all crumpled in her hand waiting in the long clinic line. Well, as my Grandpa used to say money doesn’t buy class…
ps Tom Cruise is still loving the cock.
Trotter | April 10, 2006 at 10:16 pm
Paris Sings the Blues.
Its her next big hit. Its inspired by the bruises she gets all over her disgusting, anemic body while being punished fucked by the kitchen staff at the Hilton New Orleans Riverside. She’s got a book and movie deal and a line of crotchless panties coming out too. She’s amazing.
pepper brooks | April 10, 2006 at 10:24 pm
I LOVE THE SUPERFICIAL, OSHKOSH, PAPAHOTNUTS, AND TOM CRUISE’S COCK-LOVING, WITHERED, PSYCHOTIC LITTLE MUG!!
k this is my first post ever and I’m REALLY excited. Paris Ho-town’s hair is apparently E-Z cheese. Obviously the abundance of taco cheese is spilling out of her hair follicles. E-Z cheese rox my sox, TOM CRUISE LOVES THE COX!!
gogoboots | April 10, 2006 at 10:27 pm
ACK, she actually believes that she is the shit?! She’s been grossly misinformed to confuse having a huge vagina with talent, with being an artiste, model, writer, etc. What causes me much anxiety is that she gets paid TOO MUCH to have such little brains, talent, grace, intelligence, etc…it makes me believe that this world is unfair and awards icky fake blonde chicks like this everyday in order to spite me….SIGH!
Chris'sMom | April 10, 2006 at 10:29 pm
sorry I meant to say I agreed with #18. Not agreeing with myself.
Cheekymunkeh | April 10, 2006 at 10:31 pm
She has a single entitled *Screwed*…why…oh why…
ahoyhoy | April 10, 2006 at 10:33 pm
lil-miss-perfect, #6, better be like 12 years old or something NOT to have heard of “Operas.”
i’m deeply saddened.
for future reference, lil’-miss, when someone refers to vast experience with something YOU OBVIOUSLY KNOW NOTHING ABOUT, always defer! defer!
you can google it later, rather than write an irretrievable and unfortunate post bearing your name.
pepper brooks | April 10, 2006 at 10:34 pm
oh and keanu reeves is a talented actor who does not in any way resemble an iguana.
(am I allowed to join in on my first post?)
delirium | April 10, 2006 at 10:36 pm
Hmm.. if there’s one thing I’ve learned from all these posts it’s that there’s little that Americans (I assume most of the posters are American?) hate more than promiscuity in a woman and being filthy, stinking rich. And yet she still gets book deals, movie deals, and album deals… and people buy it. Americans are a strange bunch.
jennyjenjen | April 10, 2006 at 10:38 pm
#6 Mozart composed OPERAS. Why does everyone insist on being snotty, trying to point out everyone’s grammar errors, knowledge etc. and then come off as looking like fools. You aren’t proving to be brainiacs guys..