In tomorrow’s issue of Blender, Paris Hilton says she cries whenever she listens to her album because it’s so good.
“People go crazy. They love it. Everyone’s like, ‘Who is this?’ I don’t tell. Because I don’t want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it. I think when people don’t know it’s me, they won’t judge it. But if they know it’s me, then they’ll be like, ‘Ugh.’ They won’t even dance.” Of her album, she says, “I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it’s so good.”
I’m sure I’ll cry when I listen to her album too. As will every other living creature on the planet that has ears. Because if my six years of medical school has taught me anything it’s that bleeding from the ears is the number one cause of crying. Number two if you count seeing my grandpa naked.
I think Paris Hilton is the most talentless, useless person ever to grace this Earth!! The fact that she’s so dillusional about her so-called “talent” and her “looks” is pathetic! Paris looks like a cooked prawn!!! She’s feral! If she wasn’t famous, people would not look twice at her. Once u chisel off that make-up, she’s fugly!! And as for her fat-ass, cocaine bloated billionaire pal Brandon Davis… he needs to get over himself and get into rehab! I think little sluts like Paris should be wiped off the Earth before she infects everyone with her wretched disease!!!
This woman is the ultimate in hype without substance. She could patient that.
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Ask the Science Guy
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PARIS HILTON IS EVEN HOTTER THAN ANN COULTER
I have a friend who works at AOL and he drives a heavy duty pickup truck to work everyday. One of his co-workers told him he was stupid for using a jumbo pickup truck as daily transportation. THIS IS SO FUNNY! My friend replied, “You see I transport loads of fresh air from the valley up to the business park, so you aught to thank me for all the fresh air”. His co-worker just stood there silent with her jaw hanging open like a fool. Think about that the next time you criticize a jumbo truck. WE TRANSPORT FRESH AIR in the back of our truck. You can’t see it, but it’s there. I LOVE BIG FAT TRUCKS!
Blender magazine….hmmmmm I’d like to chuck this skank into a blender, feet first. Set it to Grate and record my new ringtone, car horn, wake-up alarm, fire-alarm, Windows Startup greeting, Aroma therapy CD, etc..
Hahahahaha…Scienceguy you…hehe, you, doode, we don’t get nearly enough jumbo pick-up truck humor around here, ‘kudos to you sir.
She’s moved to tears, I move my bowels.
Same difference.
Imagine hundreds of starving talented bands/musicians in LA, that didn’t have the chance to be signed by a big label because they’re not partying heirs. Paris became ‘famous’ because she was born a Hilton, not because of her cheap Britney-ish voice.
Why, oh please WHY would I buy the CD of an untalented rich and bragging bitch who cries to HER OWN CD when my cat sings better than her? She’s a pure marketing product.
Skank! Look at that pose. She’s at her worst state ever. She’s a joke.
I forgot to mention that every untalented bitch these days has to justify her lack of talent by ordering the writing of a song in her album about jealousy and how she doesn’t care about haters. Paris did, Hohan did, and Hilary Duff did (but I admit she’s less skanky though). Do the math.
This chick is the ultimate manifestation of “the lights are on, but nobody’s home”. That and she changes hairstyles more than she changes her underwear, when she wears them. Why didn’t her helicopter crash in Germany?? Life ain’t fair I tell you. I would have donated half of my failing liver to research on the effects of over consumption of alcohol to watch this herpes whore running out of a fiery crash screaming “THAT’S HOT!!! THAT’S HOT!!!”
#59 – this is hilarious!
Go Paris!
This, combined with K-fed on stage is the sign of the end of the world….Goodbye music industry. I miss the days of GOOD music….
The Go-Go’s called, they want their clothes back.
Did she just say that out loud?
Ok, you know what would be tootilly kewl and might cause the apocalypse? (or at least the apocalyso facto?)
K-Fed/Paris duet single!
they dont know who it is because it sounds like somebody put gwen stefani and 80s madonna in a blender, and overproduced it to death. it doesnt sound like anyone. it could have been made by a robot. that would be way cooler anyway. cunt.
The worst move she ever made was doing that Simple Life show. Before that when I just saw pictures of her partying it up with her dumbass sister I just thought they were bored, idle rich people with no class and no purpose whatsoever in life. After watching her on the Simple Life now I KNOW that’s true. She has to be one of the dumbest human beings on the planet. I’d like to see her and Jessica Simpson go at to see who in fact is the dumbest person alive. It would be too close to call.
The Go-Gos were never that skeletal….
@63..How dare you sir/madam, you’ve gone too far!!
NEVER SPEAK OF THE GO GO’s unless they address you first!
I think she is crying because she is hypnotized by her own dress.
And I guess I would cry too if I thought I just killed a zebra…and if I had no talent but masked my no-talent issues with lots of random sex and STDs.
oh and drinking and drugs and anorexia and plastic surgery….you know….the popular things nowadays.
I’m sure I’m going to cry when I hear it because it’s “like…gonna be like…so good”
I ve listened to her album! And you know what? I cried too! And as I sat there sobbing I thought of the exact same think i think she s thinking…pure, hollow, absolute nothing. Long live the idle long blonde bimbo for she is fun!
Someone should put a hit out on her. Howcome she doesn’t get stalked by insane people with barbed wire?
This outfit is proof that stars are, indeed, blind.
There are so many talented singers in the world and this girl gets a record deal. Money can certianly buy fame.
I said it a long time ago.. probably on one of these post about 8 months ago.
the album will be good, and it will sell.
What bothers me is when I was walking through the mall, I saw this huge poster of her in a music store window.
It wasn’t just the fact that HER picture was in a MUSIC store, but the fact that she was looking in two directions simultaneously.
Does MeganHarris cry when she reads her own posts?
I cried this morning on the toilet after passing beer-sloppy hot wings. An experience I would imagine is quite similar to listening to this album.
Beware ladies, if this CD is your collection not only are guys not going to fuck you, they will probably punch you before they leave. I’d piss on your CD player too, but I’m funny like that.
I’m just wondering what will be on her album cover…her face or her vag? Both are almost equally recognizable at this point.
Gee, can your phone record mp3s and make ringtones? Paris’s can.
I can’t believe somebody said she looks hot in that pic, it makes her look oddly pregnant…which I hope isn’t true because I saw Ghostbusters 2 and I’m pretty sure that’s what’s going to happen when Paris has a baby.
Since when did 2 nose jobs + color contacts (check it her eyes are naturally brown) – tits = sexy ??
Am I missing something?
Oh and one more thing
SHE HAS A FUCKING LAZY EYE people!!!
gross!
What a TOTAL Moron
#74 LMAO.. best call of this post, bravo!
#83 I’m missing it too! LOL
BUT
I like her legs minus the fake tan and her boots are hot. Does she workout or just not eat?
Hey she even has a song dedicated to her!
http://www.outputrecordings.com/video/mu/
move ur body-body
the rol;e model of all bitches strikes again with a not even a penny worth albun man if i see won in store oer that price rate i’ll sue the place
For God’s sake, have any of you even LISTENED to it? Do that, and forget it’s Paris for a minute. It’s actually got some darn good tracks. Jealousy, Turn You On, the album-version of Screwed and Turn It Up are all kiiiller… and just because I am a huge fan or good rnb doesn’t mean I idolize Paris Hilton.
#9
mr. angry ferret, sir
i bow before thee.
your site is some funny shit. insightful, too.
buns
OMG UR JOS JELLOS PRIS HILTON IS AND A AMAZONG SINGER!!! Bu PPL NEET TO GET ALIFE !! sHE NOTGONG ANNYWERE!! I luf her by!!!
Just kidding! HAHAHAHAHA!!! Die, Paris, die!!
yeah, suuuuure…she sucks