Paris Hilton is topless, possibly constipated

Paris Hilton poses topless for the latest issue of 944 Magazine. I can’t tell if she’s trying to be sexy in these pictures, or really has to go to the bathroom. It’s like “Ooh, yeah, I’m Paris Hilton and I’ve got to piss like a race horse. Isn’t that hot?” I dunno, I guess – sort of. But you know what’s really hot? Drinking anti-freeze. I mean, wow, e to the rotic. And, hey, I’ve got some right here. You go first, sexy girl. Mmm, yum yum!

Photos: 944 Magazine, Splash News