Paris Hilton is religious and awesome

May 2nd, 2006 // 53 Comments

philton-breakup.jpgParis Hilton was interviewed for a cover story in Out magazine, and in it she talked about being deeply religious, saying:

“I’m Catholic. Of course, they’re not going to run pictures of me in church,” she said. In the interview, which was filmed for an episode of “The Simple Life,” Hilton said of “Jealousy,” her song about Nicole Richie: “I brought her on the show, and all of a sudden she became this different person.”

I don’t really care about her falling out with Nicole Richie, but there’s a reason there aren’t any pictures of Paris Hilton in church. Although it has less to do with the paparazzi and more to do with her being unable to step into one without bursting into flames.

Source

superficial

  1. You see?? Paris is a nice girl! All those horrid lesbians that comment on this site that make fun of her are going to burn in HELL!

    This is actually great news.

  2. HairPie

    The Pope just announced he is switching to Greek Orthodox and wants a pass though her pearly gates.

  3. Vas Deferens

    Oh great. Now she is going to give herpes to Jesus, too.

  4. BarbadoSlim

    First of all, the “Hilton” name is not “imposing,” it’s a fucking hotel chain. Second the article bolis down to this, she’s a spoiled uneducated skank that hasn’t proven to have any other talent than being, a spoiled uneducated skank.

  5. carmachu

    Of course no one takes your picture when you say you go to church. For one, you dont go, and two, if you did go, no one is dumb enough to be near you when the lightning bolt strikes you for trying to enter…..

  6. Evil Willow

    Megan Harris is fired.

  7. watcher

    bringing nicole on the show was the best thing for her – at least she’s kinda thin now.

  8. chilichz

    If Paris entering a church would result in her bursting in to flames (That’s HOT)..I’m all for it. That skankalacious douche-bag has done NOTHING to warrant all the attention she is getting, not to mention all the business she is giving pharmaceutical companies by her spreading her legs, her STD’s, and puffer fish bubble eye!

  9. TaftHartley

    MeganHarris I know who you are. If you don’t want me to expose you, stop posting immediately.

    I am watching you…..

    Jeff

  10. DannyJames

    first, whats the deal with posting first? its so fuckin lame, for real.

    secondly, why did paris suddenly bring up nicole? they were talkin about church i though.

  11. Wow, what a dumbshit. She gives interviews to regular magazines and talks about how much she likes to party…then she gives an interview to a GAY magazine and talks about how deeply she adears to a religeon that doesn’t accept them into it’s ranks. LOL!!!! Next she is going to donate a receipi to a cook books for Diabetics called “Paris’ old fasioned sugar cookies” what a dumb bitch.

  12. radio4play

    Christ! When will I be first!

    #25 funny

    tcltc still

  13. Jacq

    Akapee – Your long posts, including the one in the Lindsay thread are fucking annoying. I do not like you.

    If Paris is such a devout Catholic, when does she have time to get into trouble? When does she finish her Hail Marys or get out of the confessional?

  14. Charlaurz McHall

    Could this have anything to do with the possibility of her playing Mother Teresa in a movie of her life? I am sceptical of Paris’ catholic beliefs…not sure why?!
    http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/05/paris_does_it_i.html

  15. LittleWatson

    #23…how does Paris being Catholic but not getting photographed in church make her a nice girl?

  16. bigfatmomma

    forgive me father for i have sinned… i can just imagine how that would go!

    where did edna go? i wanted to see what she would say about this

  17. Jacq

    MeganHarris is the new Edna Bambrick.

  18. Oooooooh i’m soooo scared TaftHartley! You’re going to expose me! Uh, let me save you the trouble, I’m Megan Harris.

  19. WTF

    BigJim I’ve lost all respect for you now…wait I never had any.

    LAST!!!!!!!!!!!!! (tool)

  20. guys, back off paris.
    all she wants to do is get down on her knees before her savior and do whatever it is she can to please him…

  21. EntertainmentWhore

    Jeff/Megan: enough already. Get a room.

  22. cat

    @22

    wit
    -5

    innovation
    -5

    annoyance factor
    +100

  23. BigJim

    White
    Trash
    Fag:

    You opinion means so much to me. Isn’t it time for you to pick up your mom and sister from the Mustang Ranch?

  24. WTF

    damn, i almost shit myself i was laughing so hard at that one BigJim.

    righto..my good man…(SLAP!)

  25. Barbara

    I can’t believe she has the nerve to say she is a Christian. I could just imagine the things she says in confession.

  26. I can’t stand to look at pictures of this woman. I’m sorry if thats mean. But she looks more and more like a man-woman every day.

  27. Iambananas

    What is tcltc????????

  28. Iambananas

    Stupid girl, stupid girls, stupid girls
    Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
    Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

    Go to Fred Segal, you’ll find them there
    Laughing loud so all the little people stare
    Looking for a daddy to pay for the champagne
    (Drop a name)
    What happened to the dreams of a girl president
    She’s dancing in the video next to 50 Cent
    They travel in packs of two or three
    With their itsy bitsy doggies and their teeny-weeny tees
    Where, oh where, have the smart people gone?
    Oh where, oh where could they be?

    Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
    Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
    Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
    Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

    (Break it down now)
    Disease’s growing, it’s epidemic
    I’m scared that there ain’t a cure
    The world believes it and I’m going crazy
    I cannot take any more
    I’m so glad that I’ll never fit in
    That will never be me
    Outcasts and girls with ambition
    That’s what I wanna see
    Disasters all around
    World despaired
    Their only concern
    Will they **** up my hair

    Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
    Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
    Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
    Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

    [Interlude]
    Oh my god you guys, I totally had more than 300 calories
    That was so not sexy, no
    Good one, can I borrow that?
    [Vomits]
    I WILL BE SKINNY

    (Do ya thing, do ya thing, do ya thing)
    (I like this, like this, like this)
    Pretty will you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
    Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!
    Pretty would you **** me girl, silly as a lucky girl
    Pull my head and suck it girl, stupid girl!

    Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
    Push up my bra like that, stupid girl!

    Maybe if I act like that, that guy will call me back
    Porno Paparazzi girl, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl
    Baby if I act like that, flipping my blond hair back
    Push up my bra like that, I don’t wanna be a stupid girl

  29. Mr. Fritz

    #35, I agree with you, someone likes to play with the copy and paste option on their computer. If I wanted to read a magazine article praising this bitch, I would pick up a copy of Seventeen. It’s simple, she’s a “stupid spoiled whore” and I wish she was electrocuted. Also, we already saw the lyrics to that stupid song on the Lindsey Lohan story. Think of something original to post.

  30. Paris Hilton will just say whatever she needs to get her face in the newspapers. She knows she’s running out of steam…

  31. Binky

    Well – there’ll always be Paris, I suppose. But now that she owns the site – I think she should lay off the stories a bit.
    This is getting to be like Oprah’s ‘O’ Magazine. (‘Hummmm…who’s on the cover this week. Oh , yeah. Right. I get it.’)
    BTWUII

  32. TrannyGranny

    Jacq: Are you from AZ? I thought you were a Canadaling, but I just read that stefani post (cause I don’t want to work any more). Just curious.

    in other news *points flamethrower at Meghan Harris, lambananas and akapee* Ohh, wait, no marshmallows, be right back!

  33. Charlaurz McHall

    Paris is a Catholic, huh? well that probably explains why the Pope is going to relax the Church’s stance on contraception… check it out here
    http://celebrityreligion.typepad.com/celebrity_religion/2006/04/britney_pregnan.html

  34. sweetcheeks

    If I wanted to read what was written on askmen.com, I’d fucking GO to askmen.com. For the love of God quit that. Everybody hates it.

  35. krisdylee

    I’m gonna hunt that fucky-face Akapee down like a dirty dog. Fuck off with the literary posts, you stupid fuckwad.

    BigJim, I’d let you come first….

  36. CruisingForCock

    31 Please don’t expose meganharris. I don’t want to see her hairy tiny penis.

  37. ImCurly

    #3, BigJim- you are hysterical !! Paris religious ……… right, and the fool on the corner in Times Square is selling REAL Rolex’s for only $15.00 …. haaaaa !!!!!

  38. HollyJ

    AKAPEE (22) MUST DIE

  39. christee

    if paris is religious, then herpes must be the new communion slice. “give a girl a greek shipping heir, she’s happy for a day; teach her to spread herpes and well, she’s fucking paris.” amen.

  40. CancerNipples

    Hah, if she is a real Catholic and believes in the Catholic doctorine and principles and whatever the fuck, she is going STRAIGHT to hell. This is hilarious.

    I like how she “comes out” about her religion, and then in the same interview trashed Nicole…what an idiot. I really hope she dies before repenting. Hell, I just want her to die.

    She was probably just trying to justify why her crappy-ass cheap jewelry line produced Christian cross pendants and earrings. I would bet my virgin butthole that she hasn’t even been confirmed.

  41. flirty_girl15

    Awww catholic….*cough* my arse

  42. Faye Valentine

    $10 says she cant even read above a 4th grade level.

  43. Tha-Flash

    All I can say is HYPOCRIT.

    Oh and religion is getting old now, it’s dying… People are waking up.

  44. BarbadoSlim

    I’ll just add this *E*, to your all caps word there #65.

    no charge, carry on.

  45. memichelle77

    “I brought her on the show, and all of a sudden she became this different person.”

    Yeah, she became a person who was funnier than you and didn’t annoy us nearly as much. I would check the direction of the jealousy arrow, par-par.

  46. Queen Eva

    LAMBANANAS:

    TCLTC stands for: Tom Cruise Loves The Cock, and the first two letters are lately being substituted with other celebrities initials.

    There is some Superficial lingo for ya! :-)

    Please stop posting “Stupid Girls.”

    Note to Akapee: Try posting your own comments, instead of AskMen.Com’s.

  47. Jacq

    #54 – I’m in San Antonio, TX – that’s why I’m so crazy. We kill ‘em and grill ‘em ’round these parts.

    #64 – If you’re going to YELL at someone in CAPS, at least SPELL IT RIGHT. Hypocrite. RETARD!

  48. playahater101

    I’m sure after her late Saturday night rituals of club hopping, herpes spreading, and bathroom blowjobs, Paris gets up bright and early to attend church. Her skin probably starts burning when she touches Holy Water.

  49. Pearly

    #33 I agree! She picks OUT magazine to talk about how religeous she is? Asshat!

  50. gogoboots

    My ass she’s catholic, most catholic girls do not have herpes. I seriously think she would burst into flames if she set foot into ANY church. I’m not sure how this is related to Nicole either…in fact maybe she’s suffering from religious guilt over their “falling out”.

Leave A Comment