After spending all that time with Britney Spears and her two kids, Paris Hilton says she’s ready to start having children of her own. She tells Life & Style Weekly:
“It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30. I look after animals, so I’d have a lot to give my kids.” In fact, looking after kiddies has become so appealing to Hilton that she recently cut short a night out with Spears, announcing to friends, “We’re going home to the babies. We miss them.”
Are there laws against this? There have to be laws against this. She “looks after animals” the way a three year old looks after animals. Being a serial baby rapist makes you more qualified to raise children than this clown.
Celetina | December 6, 2006 at 8:02 am
The Britney Spears/K-Fed custody battle just became a hundred times more terrible. I think it might actually be in those children’s best interest if we just skip the intermediate step and feed them to lions.
VeryLiberating.com | December 6, 2006 at 8:02 am
Oh my dear god. She should not be allowed within 20 feet of children, let alone have one come out of her vagina!
http://www.veryliberating.com
FecalPellets | December 6, 2006 at 8:02 am
Apparently no one cares.
First!
FecalPellets | December 6, 2006 at 8:03 am
Damn, gotta get T1
chinadoll724 | December 6, 2006 at 8:04 am
Guys, give her some credit . . .At least she realizes that any baby she has is pretty much the same as a chihuahua. She’ll feed it, hold it, play with it, and teach it to bark.
Panic_Button | December 6, 2006 at 8:08 am
Dear God, she doesn’t strike me as a suitable or even adequate parent…
Just give the woman one of those “real life” crying dolls, she’ll never know the difference!
NipsyHustle | December 6, 2006 at 8:08 am
why do i feel like paris’s children will turn out to be hookers by the time they are pre-k?
they won’t know their ABC’s but they will sure know how to let the boys know they are available.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=MCa_tpfcYhc&search=Cute%20Baby%20Singing
crabbie | December 6, 2006 at 8:11 am
Go sit down and be quiet Paris.
http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com
BriBri | December 6, 2006 at 8:12 am
Please! She can’t even go a week without going on at least 5 drunken outings.
*sigh* Someone shot her…
BarbadoSlim | December 6, 2006 at 8:13 am
I can clearly see her logic, she is an animal. A nasty unclean, pantyless bitch. She’ll give birth on some club, wipe off any fluids running down her legs and leave her spawn to survive while she slithers to the next stripper pole.
CactusinaSombrero | December 6, 2006 at 8:14 am
With all those STDs, any child she had would be so mutated that she wouldn’t give birth, rather it would burst from her chest like in Alien.
superstar | December 6, 2006 at 8:14 am
This is NOT good news! Just imagine those kids will look just like Paris…and a bit like dad. They’ll be obsessed with sex probably by the age of 5. Paris may end up giving them stripping lessons too since she has stipping poles in her house AND she’ll end up giving them alcohol thinking it’s milk or the stuff that comes out of her vagina…thinking THAT’s milk! Oh dear!
Spindoc | December 6, 2006 at 8:16 am
I will lay money right now that she has a Ceasarian birth, remember, Herpes is transmittable if the baby is born naturally. Besides, a natural birth would break the scabs on all her festering puss-riddles herpes sores, Ouch! Thats not hot!
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | December 6, 2006 at 8:18 am
She’s most likely going to adopt a baby from Somalia and name it Sprinkles. She’ll dress it up and carry it around in a Dooney & Bourke bag until she accidentally leaves it at some bar calles “X-12″ in West LA. Someone will find it and mistake it for a Bratz doll, and most likely throw it out because it reeks of vodka.
hellcat1983 | December 6, 2006 at 8:19 am
Imagine…four kids in an assortment of styles and colours!
NicotineEyePatch | December 6, 2006 at 8:20 am
Not ready to host awards shows, or maintain a relationship, or make sure she wears panties, but ready for children. This is awesome news. If this thing breeds, we’re doomed.
There's a Surprise Inside | December 6, 2006 at 8:22 am
Didn’t this sorry excuse for a sponge lose her dog, post signs all around her neighborhood offering a reward, only to learn she had been too drunk the night before to remember she left it at her grandmother’s house?
jrzmommy | December 6, 2006 at 8:23 am
Because any parent can tell you that taking care of a newborn baby and raising a child is JUST LIKE taking care of an animal…..Jesus Christ.
There's a Surprise Inside | December 6, 2006 at 8:24 am
Why is there a black boot coming out of Paris’ ass in the third picture after the jump?
86 | December 6, 2006 at 8:27 am
Siiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhh. You should have to earn the right to procreate. Can our government find a way to regulate THAT?
There's a Surprise Inside | December 6, 2006 at 8:28 am
Yeah, when I was in labor for 48 hours, I compared my pain in those long hours to the pain of adopting my cat at the Humane Society. Little did I know that adoption would prepare for sleepless nights and sore nipples.
IFuckingHateYou | December 6, 2006 at 8:33 am
The beginning of the end of mankind came about in 2007 AD. As foretold, the Anti-Christ was born from a whore and it was covered in sores and it was so named HOLLYWHORE HILTON.
The 4 horsemen await patiently for the Apocalypse to begin.
Somebody needs to super glue this idiot’s snatch closed so that this can never happen. It’ll be the end of all of us if she is allowed to have children.
NipsyHustle | December 6, 2006 at 8:34 am
considering she got rid of tinkerbell because she grew heavier than 5 lbs, my guess is paris will be shopping for malnourished babies in haiti.
flamarkel | December 6, 2006 at 8:35 am
In the wild, some animals eat their young. Is there any hope for a reversal?
suzy | December 6, 2006 at 8:41 am
she just wants babies because brit has babies
and didnt she say she wanted to get married before a certain age and stay single for a year..
she’s full of shit– and those who are full of shit should not have sex
RichPort | December 6, 2006 at 8:42 am
Someone may need to remind her it’s impossible to get pregnant orally or anally.
NipsyHustle | December 6, 2006 at 8:44 am
the only place paris could put her kids and not forget where they were is in ver vagina. but considering all the spearing that goes on inside there, i suspect every time she took her kids out they’d look like golf balls.
Mojo | December 6, 2006 at 8:46 am
To be ready for kids doesnt that mean you should at least stay home once a week?
http://celebriteaze.blogspot.com
NipsyHustle | December 6, 2006 at 8:50 am
stavros nachos better watch out. i feel a “set up” coming on.
RoseColoredGlasses | December 6, 2006 at 8:53 am
ARMAGEDDON IS COMING!! RUN AND HIDE…
saffron714 | December 6, 2006 at 8:53 am
In picture 3 is there a man (based on the shoes) hiding behind her?
sexybitch | December 6, 2006 at 8:54 am
What’s with this “we” shit?
DrunkBlogger | December 6, 2006 at 9:07 am
Paris,
You aren’t ready.
Sincerely,
Your ex-husband
jrzmommy | December 6, 2006 at 9:12 am
30–I agree and appreciate a good old fashioned hysteria induced panic…….CIRCLE THE WAGONS! PARISITE IS PROCREATING! RUN FORREST, RUN! GAH!
enfilade | December 6, 2006 at 9:17 am
Oh great, another bunch of money grubbing skanks, just what we need in the world.
http://www.scandalsnappers.com/
PaisleyMoon | December 6, 2006 at 9:22 am
She can buy a kid if she wants. She can just go to the cute kid shop and charge one. Or maybe, a dozen. You never want to be photo’d with the same kid over and over. That’s tacky.
http://thedirtydisher.blogspot.com/
frenchtoaststix | December 6, 2006 at 9:27 am
Sure, Paris. Having kids and raising them is just like taking care of animals. Having the Latina maid put out Waterford crystal bowls of water and food, wipe their furball kak off the carpet when they hurl, Bedazzle your initials on a collar, so that you can carry them out every now and then in a designer handbag and pose like you care about it. It’s exactly the same thing, only with a small human. I hope your eggs are dried up and crusty from all your STDs. Do humanity a favor and do not reproduce your wonky-eyed DNA.
Italian Stallion | December 6, 2006 at 9:35 am
She should just do like the rest and rescue a niglet from Africa…….
HollyJ | December 6, 2006 at 9:35 am
She’ll do like Britney, Madonna, and everyone else in Hollywood and hire a nanny to raise it. It’s not like any of those people actually raise their own kids.
As for the detriment to the genepool.. I think we can say the affect will be cataclysmic.
HolisticWisdomcom | December 6, 2006 at 9:36 am
Paris is a child, how in the world can she be ready for them!
http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-video.htm
21st century digital boy | December 6, 2006 at 9:39 am
“It’s been my dream to have four babies by 30.”
It’s been your dream since when, like 10 seconds ago? WTF?!?
For the love of God and all that’s holy, and everything I don’t believe in, this must never occur. I’m not for forced sterilization, but I’ll make an exception in this case.
Mr. President, here’s your chance to redeem yourself. Make the call and disappear the bitch before all is lost.
RichPort | December 6, 2006 at 9:47 am
#41 – I agree, they need to Jose Padilla this ho.
ch474 | December 6, 2006 at 9:50 am
I would pay good money to see the first time Paris tries to change a baby’s diaper. Not the regular lumpy shit, but the gooey green stuff for the first couple of months or the explosion that occurs when the kid hasn’t gone for a day or two. You know, the one that leaks from tippy toe to mid back. Of course I’d only pay for pay-per-view. I wouldn’t want to be there as the smell makes me gag.
Oooo better yet! Paris getting hit by projectile vomit! Those little babys can spray it far! A big bowl of rice ceral and half a bottle of formula after it sits in the stomache for 20 minutes!
Tits_McGhee | December 6, 2006 at 9:52 am
Babies are a big deal. I mean, you don’t just get a baby like you do a dog. You can’t even compare the two! Looking after an animal doesn’t even come close to raising a CHILD. A child needs so many things, while an animal has much more survival instincts and mechanisms. You can leave a dog outside, you don’t have to change a dog, and the feeding process is much lighter with a pet than a HUMAN BEING. Plus, animals usually don’t cry constantly. Paris must forget that she won’t have the sleek size zero figure than she has when she has kids. And if she makes her maternal decisions based on what she has witnessed from Britney Spears, we have bigger issues than this one, people.
CelebSlam.com | December 6, 2006 at 10:00 am
Dear God let’s hope this isn’t true
http://www.celebslam.com
raels | December 6, 2006 at 10:03 am
This is truly scary. Paris mutants running about just isn’t right.
How is it that I need to pay for a license to drive a car?
I need to pay for a silence to own a dog?
But any crazy bimbo with a night vision poor excuse for a porno can have children?
Isn’t there somewhere in the Preamble of the Constitution of the US that states something like, “those deemed too slutty and devoid of mental capacity should be chemically sterilized?” Well, if its not then it should be!
PapaHotNuts | December 6, 2006 at 10:04 am
Just in case Paris Hilton and my children ever end up in the same school, I’m going to have my kids vaccinated for scurvy.
mytwocents | December 6, 2006 at 10:13 am
That’s it…I’m starting a petition…. Any input you all have? I’m thinking something like:
To: CDC, U.S. Dept of Health & Human Svcs, Child Protective Svcs, Humanity:
For the sake of moving humanity forward and saving the world from a potential end to life as we know it as well as having to deal with a Paris Hilton off-spring, we ask that you force Paris Hilton to undergo mandatory sterilization. The disease mutations in and of themselves would be reason enough.
Thank you,
The Undersigned
-suggestions? changes?
http://www.thespinzone.com
HollywoodSnark | December 6, 2006 at 10:14 am
Oh my…if ever there was a time for the phrase ‘think of the children!’, this is it…
She should just join forces with Michael Jackson to form a walking duo of kid’s nightmares…
http://hollywoodsnark.com
funnyinmyhead | December 6, 2006 at 10:31 am
Considering how sucky of a job her parents did with her, and since her new BFF is truly the BEST mom out there – I say go for it Paris. DFCS doesn’t already have enough to do….keep ‘em busy!