I think it’d be great if Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton had a dance off. It could air on Fox and, just for kicks, Gary Coleman could freestyle rap in the background. It would be like a totally sweet spinoff of Dancing with the Stars, only instead of stars there would be two whores and a little black guy who kept repeating, “Whatchoo talkin’ about, Willis?”
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Gisele Bundchen Speaks Out After Her Latest Controversy – Lainey Gossip |
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| Naomi Campbell sexy new photoshoot. – Fox News | |
| Vanessa Hudgens Falls Out Of Her Shirt – Popoholic | |
| Celebrities' Real Names Exposed – Newser | |
| No bras here. – The Chive |
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Jayne | January 18, 2006 at 3:05 pm
…it’s like she’s riding an imaginary bull.
SuperSpence | January 18, 2006 at 3:10 pm
Where are the rest of the photos in this sequence? What about the part where she masturbates a doberman while two night club bouncers have a swordfight in her mouth? If I know anything about Paris Hilton, that’s pretty much what happened about five seconds later.
HollyJ | January 18, 2006 at 3:13 pm
LOL! Look at all the bystanders with their arms in the air taking photos with their phone and pocket cameras! It’s like a crazy ABBA concert circa 1976. That is HILARIOUS!
ChaosMonkey | January 18, 2006 at 3:13 pm
Get down, you skanky Elaine, you.
Manderoni | January 18, 2006 at 3:18 pm
HAHAHAHA…those are GREAT!!! I like the third one where she’s striking a “princess hip hop” pose – She’s so hardcore!! Hardcore moron that is….
boo | January 18, 2006 at 3:22 pm
oh. my. gawd. what’s sad is that she thinks she’s really being sexy up there.
Larry | January 18, 2006 at 3:23 pm
I’m all Paris Hilton-ed out. I can only take so many stories per diem about tall, skinny rich girls who’ve had lots of plastic surgery and don’t have much interesting to say.
aziajs | January 18, 2006 at 3:23 pm
“…it’s like she’s riding an imaginary bull” – LOL!!!!!
What is wrong with Paris Hilton?????
Cate | January 18, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Who is that other girl up there? Being paris’s friend is just as embarassing as being ms hilton herself.
JollyJumjuck | January 18, 2006 at 3:26 pm
aziajs: “What is wrong with Paris Hilton?????”
Poor girl has never been the same since being rammed up Mr. Slave’s ass.
Shaun | January 18, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Dam I’d like to see a headline where she gets into sh*t and can’t be bailed out. I am telling you Martha Stewart will be hosting “The hard times of Paris Hilton”.
Paris:”I was behind bars, and this girl, she was staring at me, and I thought omg, why is her hair like, like, so dry looking”.
Stewart:”did you actually say that out loud?”.
Paris:”well no, the girl holding a blade to my kidneys warned me not to be my usual self. I was like , but I’m paris, you can’t do this!”.
Stewart:”welcome to the real world huney, chuckles under her breath, you should be used that by now huh paris poof?”.
Paris:”martha, your like, so rude, daddy call my limo?”
kylieer | January 18, 2006 at 3:35 pm
I FUCKING HATE THIS CHICK!!! WHAT A LOSER, WHORE SHE IS!! Is that all she does is party?!?! Is she aware of the state of the world??! Does she care??
Tink | January 18, 2006 at 3:38 pm
Can’t Paris Hilton afford dance lessons?
amma | January 18, 2006 at 3:41 pm
…I think I might be turning religious, because all I can think of is ohmyeffinggawd!!!
I mean yeah, you can tell she thinks she’s being totally sexy up there! Hahahahah…!
I’m pretty sure that other person up there with her, the woman, is her mom. Not kidding.
MandySmurf | January 18, 2006 at 3:47 pm
I’m not shocked. Someone so skinny like that would look ridiculous dancing so provocatively. Take Janice Dickinson for example, that episode of The Surreal Life when she was giving Bronson Pinchot a lap dance made me disgustingly nauseous, much like seeing a dead rotting cat on the side of the road being picked apart by live maggots covered in feces. It was just that vile.
Spindoc | January 18, 2006 at 3:50 pm
I smell yogurt
greekdiva | January 18, 2006 at 3:55 pm
Looks like she’s having cramps on the 4th pic…
fblau | January 18, 2006 at 4:20 pm
All those cameras and not ONE coochie shot?
For SHAME on the papparazzi! For shame!
musings | January 18, 2006 at 4:24 pm
That is not a dance. That is porn!
sammygirl | January 18, 2006 at 4:30 pm
I think she’s having a grand mal seizure.
Larry | January 18, 2006 at 4:34 pm
In all the the pictures, she is sending out very strong vibes of “look at me and my hotness as I shake my hot thing; am I not very hot indeed? Do you not crave me?”
Which, you have to admit, is 100% pure entertainment when done by Olive Oyl in a blonde wig.
jennifer11 | January 18, 2006 at 4:38 pm
and THIS is the person who WON’T do playboy?
lord have mercy.
HughJorganthethird | January 18, 2006 at 4:42 pm
Ok so we have established Paris can’t:
give head
dance
sing
act
drink
form a thought
pass an STD test
tell us what country her name comes from
anything I’m missing?
trish | January 18, 2006 at 4:45 pm
in the third picture, I believe poor sister Nicky (ok it could be Tonya Harding) is just begging her to stop slutting up the place
cibby | January 18, 2006 at 4:55 pm
Lines of dirty coke, meet Paris Hilton. Oh, you’ve already met?
spreaded_'em | January 18, 2006 at 4:57 pm
She looks like a stripper
Mary45 | January 18, 2006 at 5:16 pm
Yep it looks like mommy in that see-through shirt again… Paris looks really wasted. When did she get her hair extensions back?
juicylips | January 18, 2006 at 5:41 pm
these are still photos and she still off beat.
xAgonyxScenex | January 18, 2006 at 5:48 pm
A disgustingly ugly whore dances. Always entertaining.
tess | January 18, 2006 at 6:09 pm
I’m getting really tired of seing this whore. I mean, she should just Disappear. Someone should kidnap her and drop her in a muslim country where she would be forced to be covered up from head to toe, where she would have to stop sleeping around and where she would ultimately end up being burned alive by some crazy fanatic.
zena marie | January 18, 2006 at 6:11 pm
Why are they holding up cameras instead of putting dollar bills in her butt crack.
At least she’s not toting her poor little dig, Tinkerbell, with her up there… probably forgot her in the john, by the mirror, after slathering on a fresh coat of lip gloss.
TiredAndEmotional | January 18, 2006 at 6:31 pm
That looks like the can-can – which is not as easy as it looks – so if it is, go Paris! Or it could just be the hokey-cokey
SMF121490 | January 18, 2006 at 6:49 pm
All that money but it can’t buy you talent, personality, or class.
What a poster girl for skank
aziajs | January 18, 2006 at 7:12 pm
juicylips: “these are still photos and she still off beat”
I was thinking the same thing! Why can’t she dance?
leo v | January 18, 2006 at 7:43 pm
After last week’s Lohan/Moss faux slutty dance-off in NYC, Paris just wants the light to shine on her again. The next thing she’ll probably be ‘caught’ doing is coke in a sweaty bathroom. She just can’t squeeze any originality out from her acorn of a brain.
ScottyBitch | January 18, 2006 at 7:54 pm
#31…..she makes her poor little dig wear lip gloss?
Jason Smith | January 18, 2006 at 7:57 pm
and just imagine if she wasn’t an heir to the hotel throne. she’d probably be a $6 hooker in east LA.
Binky | January 18, 2006 at 8:02 pm
Paris, yeah, well…right. Paris dancing. Gr8…
Humm…well figure skaters were popular for a while, and tennis players. Who’s Condi dating ? What about the Euro-trash ?
I think I’ve OD’ed on Paris and I didn’t even get a hickey…
(Hummm…good idea 4 a Tee-shirt…but Paris is probably already selling them)
ESQ | January 18, 2006 at 8:09 pm
In the second picture she looks like she is pointing to her goodies and the fifth picture she is showing her goodies. Geez, that Hilton clan has a lot of class.
Captain Awesome | January 18, 2006 at 8:29 pm
Seriously, white people can’t dance.
Sponge Girl | January 18, 2006 at 8:46 pm
Good ol’ reliable Paris.
I hope she has children. I would *love* to see her try to reign in her fourteen-year old with “Honey sugar pumpkin, its wrong to be a crack whore because, well… um… But really, you shouldn’t go to nightclubs at your age because, you see sweetie, oh… um, oh fuck it, have some money”.
spamnews | January 18, 2006 at 9:39 pm
All that to shake loose some crabs? I could swear I saw some lotion that’d do the job in the drug store … maybe they’re fresh, and it was a quick fix.
Sheva | January 18, 2006 at 9:48 pm
It’s a Paris Ho’down. Yipeekaiyai and who cares if she is on beat or not.
It’s a whore partying. Stop your complainin and enjoy.
Shoot, I would. She looks better than she used to.
Yes, of course she is dumb or dumber than a door knob.
(We already knew that.)
hafaball | January 18, 2006 at 10:09 pm
And thus the reason camera phones were invented…oh yeah, and to take pictures of dead Popes. But I hope no one got infected by some disease when she was dancing, she;s like a skunk, who sprays STDs…
IsayAWESOME | January 18, 2006 at 11:23 pm
Paris Hilton is a filthy whore.
Period.
and i only say that because im overweight and i wish i looked as sexy as her
even though she is a filthy whore
period.
celeb_hater | January 18, 2006 at 11:37 pm
i believe that’s her mom in one of the pictures..the mom who wore the black see through top with no bra..the mom who has tits that didn’t seem to pass to her daughters. One thing that did pass is the skank whore gene.
Just Nikki | January 18, 2006 at 11:42 pm
You know, the way she’s flinging herself around, people should know that she’s really just trying to get the crabs off her cooter. I have yt to figure out why everybody loves this douche so much?! She’s like atrain wreck waiting to happen… and to think, there are young girls who aspire to be her! Heaven help the slow and uninspired. *shrugs*
Somebody kill this skank before she infests everybody with her stupidity!
Zed | January 18, 2006 at 11:51 pm
It’s tough enough to see K-Fed in the media daily, but Paris Hilton?
At least Kevin can pretend to have a quarter-ounce of talent by painfully blurting out the amazingly earth-moving ballad Popozao (er, “PoopPoopzao”), but with Paris there’s nothing–she can’t speak, write, think, dance, sing, or amuse by telling funny stories. Can she even read?
Can’t someone make K-Fed go away? And can he take Paris with him? Pretty please? Someone? Anyone?
Kelly | January 19, 2006 at 12:01 am
wtf is she doing? I wonder if this girl looks back and notices what a tool she is. Probablt not because she is a self centered slut. I think it is funny that the people she uses to get herself places all hate ther now. The guy who produced her totally hates her now. She uses people like they are disposable. Can’t wait till she gets her. Hard core Paris, the only thing she knows about hard is dick!!!
squidtits | January 19, 2006 at 12:12 am
Give the girl a break, she does have *some* class and dignity! Afterall, she could easily have just changed her tampon in FULL VIEW of everyone instead of excercising the ladylike discretion that can be observed in picture 4.