Paris Hilton is hawking hair extensions now

July 15th, 2008 // 50 Comments

These are promotional shots for Paris Hilton’s new hair extension line DreamCatchers. You can check out the company site here if you absolutely hate your eyes, ears and sense of dignity. In the meantime, I’ve come up with some slogans to help Paris in her entrepreneurial pursuit:

DreamCatchers: Because you’ve stopped taking your meds and stole your grandmother’s purse. Get beautiful!

DreamCatchers: Look we gave her some money and figured she’d choke on the extensions during the development process. Who knew?

DreamCatchers: Or you can keep looking like a trash bag full of cottage cheese, Kim Kardashian.

DreamCatchers: Because you know who gives great hair advice? Chicks with herpes. That’s science. Hair science.

Photos: The Sun
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Comments (50)

  1. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 15, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    If she had a penis, shed be a lot hotter. Then Id actually want to be with her.

    And if she was black That would be even hotter!

    Reply
  2. sillysalamander | July 15, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    FIRST THUNDER-CUNTS!!!
    Booooyah!
    Suck on that!!!!

    Reply
  3. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 15, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    oh yea…and FIRST & SECOND LOSERS!

    Reply
  4. grammarfreak | July 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    That’s “hawking” not “hocking,” unless she’s taking the hair extentions to a pawnshop to make a few bucks on them.

    Reply
  5. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    err, third!

    sillysalamander, EAT A DICK FUCKTARD. You lost again!

    Reply
  6. jen | July 15, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    OMG…the extensions look SO FAKE, and ratty!

    Reply
  7. bb | July 15, 2008 at 4:24 pm

    #1 & #3: Do you have anything decent to say? For once, at least?

    Reply
  8. sillysalamander | July 15, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    I don’t care what anyone says man. Look at the first pic I would totally spread her legs and muff-dive that chicka.

    Reply
  9. havoc | July 15, 2008 at 4:25 pm

    Lame.

    .

    Reply
  10. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 15, 2008 at 4:27 pm

    anything decent?…

    well, first of all FUCK YOU.

    Decent huh?..

    Ok, here goes:

    Im Gay, proud of it and am going to California to marry my partner of 4 years Shayquan. He will be an american citizen after our marriage and all you repukeblicans cant do anything about.

    GAY AND PROUD BITCHES!!!

    Reply
  11. bb | July 15, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    #5: By the look of the “quality” that you post on here, it probably goes without saying that your attempt at higher education was just that: An attempt.

    Reply
  12. If Thy Eye Be Single Jones | July 15, 2008 at 4:35 pm

    I’m really afraid of looking like a trash bag full of cottage cheese. I’ll take one extension please * hands over $3.99*

    Reply
  13. Justice Served | July 15, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    @11 – FINALLY. Someone that agrees with me about him. Hes always shoving being gay etc down everyones throat. He also acts so elitest and above everyone else. High 5 for the comments!

    Reply
  14. Has seen smarter looking parakeets | July 15, 2008 at 4:39 pm

    First Photo – Paris finally smiles when the photographer’s assistant dazzles her by turning on a bright light

    Second Photo – Paris is confused when the light “goes away”

    Third Photo – Paris collapses with exhaustion from trying figure out where “The Shiny” went

    Reply
  15. bb | July 15, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    #13: Your welcome.

    Reply
  16. Meg | July 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Is it just me or does her eye just keep getting lazier and lazier?

    Reply
  17. Randal | July 15, 2008 at 4:45 pm

    Very nice Paris! What a difference long hair makes on you, accenting your high cheek bones and rose pedal lips. We’ll be seeing a lot more of you no doubt now on the Fish.

    Randal

    Reply
  18. Meg | July 15, 2008 at 4:46 pm

    Is it just me or does her eye keep getting lazier and lazier?

    Reply
  19. grobpilot | July 15, 2008 at 4:51 pm

    Why has PETA not descended on this snag? Killing, skinning and wearing the fur of poor, helpless animals on your head is grounds for a lynching.

    Reply
  20. kenny | July 15, 2008 at 4:53 pm

    #19 grobpilot
    Why don’t you go dive in front of a truck to save a frog you fucking PETA retard.

    Reply
  21. toolboy | July 15, 2008 at 5:00 pm

    Dreamcatcher.. the cheapest way to hide that wonky ass fucked up eyeball.

    Elliot_Spitz_on_her…I am a Republican (for the most part). Congratulations, may you and yours have the ability to channel David Sedaris-esque type sarcasm at will and may all your furniture match the decor.

    Reply
  22. Ferdinand Narcos | July 15, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    I’d look deep into her wonky eye and say “I love you”,right before I splooged up her nostril….

    Reply
  23. Ted from LA | July 15, 2008 at 5:05 pm

    DreamCatcher: Because CumCatcher was already taken…

    Reply
  24. sebastian | July 15, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    #10 Elliot, with respect sir, do you see any one here posting they are heterosexual and proud? just keep it to yourself and don’t rub in faces of the people. this behavior is tacky. no one gives a shit.

    Reply
  25. p0nk | July 15, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    23. thanks Ted. that needed to be said.

    Reply
  26. anonymous | July 15, 2008 at 5:11 pm

    Where the fuck are her pupils

    Reply
  27. A-Rod | July 15, 2008 at 5:17 pm

    Some should kick that wonky-eyed cunt in her box.

    I’m just sayin.

    Reply
  28. Superevil | July 15, 2008 at 7:13 pm

    hey sillysalamander i think its time to leave moms basement

    Reply
  29. mat | July 15, 2008 at 7:24 pm

    She looks like she’s wearing a mask.

    Reply
  30. Mr. Sleepyhead | July 15, 2008 at 8:18 pm

    Maybe she’ll get tangled in her hair extensions, trip, fall and break her fricking neck. I would propose a national holiday if that occurred.

    Reply
  31. Do_FreeBird | July 15, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    I’m confused:

    How do you attach the extensions after you’ve shaved your coochie?

    Reply
  32. cady | July 15, 2008 at 8:37 pm

    She is really sexy. Many of her hot videos and sexy photos can be found on Fitness Loving Do Tcom.

    Reply
  33. Paris Scrotum | July 15, 2008 at 10:46 pm

    They don’t even mention you can get them at Sally’s Shitty Beauty Supply on their website. How convenient.

    Reply
  34. grobpilot | July 15, 2008 at 11:17 pm

    #20: If you had a modicum of intelligence, you would have recognized sarcasm when you read it.

    Reply
  35. ToTellTheTruth | July 16, 2008 at 12:29 am

    Fucking nasty bitch needs to be selling Herpes cream.

    Reply
  36. nancy | July 16, 2008 at 2:28 am

    No matter how long the extensions are, you can’t hide your monster feet, Paris. Maybe a chainsaw will solve your problems. Good luck, Hilton.

    Reply
  37. bondge ducky | July 16, 2008 at 2:44 am

    The video of the product under “see it” features South African Afrikaans singer Patricia Lewis (who dated the Hoff) and ex-gladiator Fire and Candice Hillabrand. Infact the images are the same ones they used to flog hair extensions in SA a couple of years ago.

    Reply
  38. WeHateFags | July 16, 2008 at 7:37 am

    @ #10 (Elliot):

    FAGGOT

    Reply
  39. WeHateFags | July 16, 2008 at 7:37 am

    @ #10 (Elliot):

    FAGGOT

    Reply
  40. WeHateFags | July 16, 2008 at 7:37 am

    @ #10 (Elliot):

    FAGGOT

    Reply
  41. WeHateFags | July 16, 2008 at 7:37 am

    @ #10 (Elliot):

    FAGGOT

    Reply
  42. Duke Steele | July 16, 2008 at 7:55 am

    Hey sillysalamander. So, what you’re saying is that you want herpes???

    Reply
  43. Elliot_Spitz_On_Her | July 16, 2008 at 9:38 am

    Wow… I see Mike Oxbhig has a lot of time on his hands… it would probably be easier if I really were gay… then I wouldn’t have to buy my wife so much shit. I thought you morons could figure out who was who, like when fake Frist pledges allegiance to Hitler and shit.

    Reply
  44. gerard Vandenberg | July 16, 2008 at 9:49 am

    HOOOPS!!
    I DID IT AGAIN?
    sorry, I was born stupid, but the name is paris.
    A CITY IN WEST-AFRICA!!

    Reply
  45. Paris sucks ass | July 16, 2008 at 10:30 am

    Paris is and will always be a whore. Being famous for a sex tape is pathetic. I think she looks horrible. What’s going on with her eyes? She always looks droopy-eyed. Why anybody thinks she’s hot is fricken beyond me.

    Reply
  46. Kim Lardassian | July 16, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Why not grow your hair Paris instead of fake shit? you are a repugnant talentless vapid slag now crawl under a stone this instant and take your fake fucking hair with you, NOW.

    Reply
  47. Kim Lardassian | July 16, 2008 at 12:27 pm

    Why not grow your hair Paris instead of fake shit? you are a repugnant talentless vapid slag now crawl under a stone this instant and take your fake fucking hair with you, NOW.

    Reply
  48. Nicole Ritchie | July 16, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    Its a good idea … i mean its one of the only things she is known for… her fake hair! and you know the little girls of america are going to be on this shit like white on rice!

    Reply
  49. Sendy | July 17, 2008 at 5:04 am

    LoL/ She is really sexy!!! I have ever seen her hot video on the wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M for hot guys and girls to hook up for Hot Love and Sexy Dating. She is really sexy with bikini in that video.

    Reply
  50. This is news? | July 28, 2008 at 12:56 pm

    This isn’t anything new. DreamCatchers have been out for quite a while now. Read a magazine?

    Reply

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