Paris Hilton is going to jail
A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in LA County jail for violating her probation. Her sentence will start on June 5, and the judge made sure she wouldn’t be allowed on work release, furloughs, use of an alteranitve jail, or electronic monitoring instead of jail. Moments before the judge gave his decision, Paris was crying and told the court:
“I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry.” The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.
This judge is a fucking hero. I mean, yeah, I once saw him save a group of children by killing a bear with his bare hands. And then this other time I saw him run into a burning building to save a box of kittens. But really, this Paris thing is probably the most heoric thing he’s ever done. They should give him a cape. And also this card I made for him. I wrote his name in curly letters and drew hearts all around the margin.