A Los Angeles County Superior Court judge has sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in LA County jail for violating her probation. Her sentence will start on June 5, and the judge made sure she wouldn’t be allowed on work release, furloughs, use of an alteranitve jail, or electronic monitoring instead of jail. Moments before the judge gave his decision, Paris was crying and told the court:
“I’m Sorry, I’m Sorry.” The judge called out her rep Elliot Mintz in court, describing his testimony as “completely worthless.” He also told Paris that he did not believe that she was unaware of her license suspension, adding that she had paperwork in her car stating that her license was suspended.
This judge is a fucking hero. I mean, yeah, I once saw him save a group of children by killing a bear with his bare hands. And then this other time I saw him run into a burning building to save a box of kittens. But really, this Paris thing is probably the most heoric thing he’s ever done. They should give him a cape. And also this card I made for him. I wrote his name in curly letters and drew hearts all around the margin.
Jailhouse Rapists rejoice!!!
This made my entire month.
I agree with all of the above^^
TOO DAMN FUNNY. I hope some of the other inmates rape her and film it. Paris crying and being raped will be a big hit on youtube.
“the judge made sure she wouldn’t be allowed on work release, furloughs, use of an alteranitve jail, or electronic monitoring instead of jail”
This guy is a fucking GOD
Finally, my faith in humanity has been restored a little bit. It’s a great day when this horrid skank is finally knocked off her precious pedestal. YAY! It couldn’t happen to a nicer person!
How much does anyone want to bet that there will be a mysterious outbreak of herpes amongst the inmates in the jail while she’s there?
damn straight although the bitch still has a month to wiggle out of it, it should have happened from today not a month hence.
The judge’s birthday should become a national holiday. Like Washington’s Birthday and Lincoln’s Birthday used to be before they combined them into Presidents’ Day.
That bitch deserves it.
Too bad the judge didn’t decide on lethal injection.
How many wannabes will be committing crimes in LA this weekend in hopes of getting Paris as a cellmate. Look for lots of immates to get a piece of her. Awesome that she’s going to jail. Maybe it will put some humility into her.
PS. I can’t wait for the pictures of when she drops the soap in the shower
Her rep’s testimony was considered worthless, basically that just means he was lying out of his ass. These people think laws are for the little people.
Think about that while Shawannda and her crew give you a broomstick pap-smear, whore.
Huzzah! This more than makes up for me getting rear ended today!!
Evidence that justice is not dead?
Hopefully some butch-dyke lesbos will make her their bitch & bash in her fugly parrot beak nose a few times.
My faith in humanity and the balance of the universe has been restored. Ahhhh. Serenity.
The chicks in jail won’t even rape her. Hell, they know she is a disease ridden skank.
speaking of firecrotches…guess who’s going to have one when they get out of jaaaaaail? booyaka!
yipppeeee skipppeeeee! Is there any way she can get bailed out or anything though? Do you reckon she will actually end up doing the whole 45 days??
Well if she’s lucky Paris can one day say she’s a graduate….
of Con College.
‘Don’t drop the soap’ or is that guy’s prison thing ? …whatever. I’ve heard it’s not the Hilton.
(Deja vu ? Huffington Post had this before you Fish. Of course I suppose I could have hit refresh)
Now THIS is almost worth O.J. going free. Whoo Hoo! Go get her Judge!!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! My only question is this: why didn’t the judge say, “Bailiff, please handcuff Miss Hilton and remand her to the jail. Thank you. Court dismissed.” BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
P.S- check out the facials in the photo. She looks like Old Man Withers in a wig, cursing the neighbor’s kids for throwing flaming bags of shit on the porch.
Nicole Richie’s up on charges too. If she isn’t sweating bullets, or alcohol, or heroin residue over this sentence, she will be soon.
CAN’T STOP LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now she’ll have street cred and a tear drop tattoo.
Next phase of her downfall, the cancellation of most of her contracts and appearances.
What respectable business wants this degenerate convict representing them?
I disagree with #1 through #24. Paris will turn this into a huge publicity campaign and get more exposure at not cost to her than anything she’s done in the past, except the famous video. She’s a savvy businessperson and can exploit this opportunity to her financial and personal advantage.
Hard time. Hard time Paris! That’s hot!
Whatsthe bet she gets out of it. It all comes down to ching-ching-a-ling $$$$ at the end of the day
OK PEOPLE!!!
THIS IS LIKE, THE COOLEST THING EVER!!! HAHA!!!
BUT STILL…. I
#28 dear god you are probably right. But let us not waste this sliver of sweet, sweet reckoning!!!!
Well it’s been said before me but , I LOVE THAT FUCKING JUDGE. The guy is my hero, someone link us to a photo of him so I can blow it up and hang it on my wall.
They should dress that guy up like Judge Dredd, give him a gun and send him after all of these socialite whores.
hahahahahahahahah!!!!!
28: and by “savvy businessperson” you mean “Wonky Eyed CumDumpster” right?
Paris is going to be staring in the remake of that old Linda Blair Movie, “Born Innocent” especially the scene where she goes to jail and is raped by a bunch of women with a broom handle.
The judge probably went home, smiled a sly little smile, pulled off the mask and wig, and went out in her cowboy boots, fishnets, left the kids with kev, and strutted off to another dance session….
and some cheetos…
I’m actually kind of surprised, though.
@28…There’s a possibility you are right, but IMO you are overestimating her capabilities. There’s a lot of Paris fatigue out there.
there is a god.
Well well, hooray, and while I am no fan of Paris, something is out of whack here. Ummm didn’t Brandy kill someone a few months ago and she isn’t going to jail (yet). Hmmm. Guess killing someone isn’t as bad as drunk driving on a suspended licenses.
@12 Yeah .. the Judge didn’t need to spell that out. Anyone who heard the dessert-cream-nostril story knows that Elliot guy projectiles shit out of his mouth every time he opens it
Fuuuck me! I wished for it just last night and it worked! And my wife said this $2000 magic genie lamp from that garage sale at that going out of business fortune teller’s wouldn’t work… Dear Mr Genie… please put Vida Guerra nakedly in my bed tomorrow, covered in whipped cream and Guinness (fuck you it’s my dream). Amen.
And I can’t for the headline:
PARIS SURRENDERS… AGAIN
Fuck the French…
Thank God for that Judge!!!! Finally someone that is not blinded by these celebrity brats and their money! This skank has had it coming for a long time, I can’t wait to be rid of her wretched image for 45 days – roll on June 5! Herpes Hilton – may you have the worst 45 days of your life and maybe you might learn that you are not above the law even though you’ve been flouting it for years. Good Riddance. I also want a picture of this judge, I will create a shrine to him. I’m lovin’ this way too much!!
can’t “wait”… I’m about as giddy as Paris at a coke party…
That’s Hott. Lol.
I am so going to make myself a margarita right now and toast that heroic judge with all my heart.
Mwah! xoxoxoxox
Happy Friday Everyone! Life can be so good, sometimes!
You are all forgetting about the ‘hard time’ that Martha Stewart served. I know it’s tempting to wish that she’ll be in with Shawanda, Roquesha, and a greased broomstick enema, but it’s not gonna happen.
Paris is going to wind up in some half-baked, minimum security Camp WannaEatMe type place.
Count on it.
yay!
*celebrates*
^__^
@41…Actually it’s not the same thing. Herpes was already given a slap on the wrist for her offense but SHE decided to spit on that and not comply with the mandated provisions of the probation. She didn’t even enroll in traffic school for god’s sake.
So, she’s not going to jail for her original offense, she’s going to jail for failing to comply with her VERY lenient sentence.
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! im glad she is getting what she deserves, but this is only Jail not Prison so it wont be that bad. I hope it is tho :)