- Criss Angel is such a master of magic, he has a woman’s haircut. Ta-da! [PopEater]
- Billy Ray Cyrus approves of Miley’s pole-dancing at the Teen Choice Awards. Is anyone really surprised by this? Honestly. [The Blemish]
- Cameron Diaz and Keanu Reeves are dating. [Lainey Gossip]
- Leighton Meester sounds like an amazing person to take to dinner. [Celebslam]
- Renee Zellweger needs to be stopped. Seriously. This is getting ridiculous. [PopSugar]
- Megan Fox is hosting the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. [Just Jared]
- Brad Pitt calls Tom Cruise’s Valkyrie “ridiculous.” Ha! Midgets can’t kill Hitler.[Splash News]
Photo: Splash News
jang | August 21, 2009 at 9:33 pm
ugly
jang | August 21, 2009 at 9:33 pm
ugly
jang | August 21, 2009 at 9:33 pm
ugly
Tanzarian | August 21, 2009 at 9:36 pm
I’d stick it in her fishy vag.
Oh, and I’d do it if she was a mermaid, too.
Crocoduck | August 21, 2009 at 9:44 pm
Smells like fish, tastes like chicken. Or in her case, also tastes like fish.
Harold^Sick | August 21, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Finally, she looks like she smells!
BRANDON M. WITTE | August 22, 2009 at 12:03 am
PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE:33
BRANDON M. WITTE | August 22, 2009 at 12:06 am
PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.
THESE INCLUDE HEINOUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS DURING THE MONTHS OF NOVEMBER 2007, DECEMBER 2007, AND JANUARY 2008.
FOR MORE INFORMATION, TRY DOING A GOOGLE SEARCH WITH MY NAME (BRANDON M. WITTE) WITH THE NAMES: PARIS HILTON, RICK HILTON, AND NICKY HILTON.
THE WEB SITE PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM CONTAINED MUCH OF THIS INFORMATION.
ALSO, PARIS HILTON HAS NOW BEEN TAKEN OUT OF GOOGLE’S NEW PROMPTING FUNCTION (WHEREUPON WHEN YOU TYPE IN THE FIRST LETTERS OF A PERSON’S NAME ON GOOGLE AND THE DIFFERENT POSSIBILTIES THEN COME UP BEFORE YOU CLICK ON “SEARCH.”
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 33
Nameless | August 22, 2009 at 1:01 am
I bet Siren smells like cocaine, fish, and herpes.
SJN | August 22, 2009 at 4:48 am
Reverse mermaids are more practical.
http://www.comedyshack.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2009/05/reverse-mermaid.jpg
SJ
lllovelulu | August 22, 2009 at 6:07 am
I found a great dating site________W e a l t h y D a t e r. C o m________. The best dating club for seeking the rich singles, sexy beauties and even hot celebs.. what’s the most important is that you dont have to be a millionaire.but you can meet one. I think everyone need to meet some miracle after all the terrible stuff in the news and the economy .You should check———————————————–
bang dang | August 22, 2009 at 11:03 am
That looks like rotten tuna. Stay away
g_girl | August 22, 2009 at 12:01 pm
keanu is gay.
baba | August 22, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I always thought she looked like a flounder with that loopy eye thing she has going on
gotmilk? | August 22, 2009 at 3:12 pm
i never knew that Rene was so fucking boring. i’ll just go back to not paying any attention to her again.
andy | August 22, 2009 at 3:16 pm
My friend recommended me a very interesting place____billionaireromance .com____ It’s where wealthy singles looking for someone to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with:)
All Women Stalker | August 22, 2009 at 3:30 pm
Triton would want to impale her with his fork thingy. Not in a good way.
-meream
VirtualVice | August 22, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Mother of god. I thought she was being punked. Turns out it’s her fans being punked.
Blech | August 23, 2009 at 1:15 am
WTF does this ad even mean?
A siren, a mythical creature, is comprised of both woman and bird, i.e., female with feathers. Sirens are not sea maidens– mermaids, sirenas, sirene, etc, are.
Paris would have been better off posing in the uniform of an authoritative figure such as a police officer or firefighter.
She needs to rid of her ad campaign managers and designers, pronto…
dude | August 23, 2009 at 1:21 pm
#9 wins the contest. Too funny.
Also, could it be true? Could we have another Randal on our hands? May it be! Please Brandon White, age 33 of Texas, tell us more about Paris or any other celeb you know about!! seriously!!
Todd | August 23, 2009 at 1:46 pm
her lower half is that of a fish, wow this joke is too easy. its like if sarah palin wore a sarah palin mask.
http://TheOverrated.com/
BRANDON M. WITTE | August 24, 2009 at 12:02 am
HEY DUDE, YOU GET #2 AFTER #9! TOO FUNNY!
shay | August 24, 2009 at 12:19 am
If I am correct, sirens really ARENT mermaids,
They’re bird women.
Greek mythology.
what a dumbass.
Érico | August 24, 2009 at 9:26 am
Paris is an ugly biotch. Who buys the shit she advertises?
Galtacticus | August 24, 2009 at 10:59 am
I like her fish tail.It looks like it’s made out of golden coins.
Rhialto | August 24, 2009 at 11:05 am
I wonder what her siren song could be? Stars are blind?
Nero | August 24, 2009 at 11:48 am
#26
Is she the Antisiren!?
gigi | August 24, 2009 at 1:03 pm
Shay, guess what [with your "if I'm correct..."] you are not ‘correct’ There are sea sirens… guess you closed the book up at the wrong spot… mermaids fit the bill. you don’t even need google for that/ besides, who even cares? Anybody who thinks Paris is a tacky skank doesn’t need a botched lesson in mythological creatures to confirm anything.
BRANDON M. WITTE | August 25, 2009 at 11:49 pm
PARIS HILTON IS CURRENTLY EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 33
Meseret Hailu | September 4, 2009 at 10:00 pm
When will we hear about a celebrity man’s missing penis?
BRANDON M. WITTE | September 18, 2009 at 11:31 pm
PARIS HILTON HAS FORCED ME TO TAKE COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF FEMALE HORMONES. I NOW LACTATE FROM SMALL BUT NOTABLE BREASTS DUE TO THIS DEVELOPMENT. SHE ALSO HAS FORCE FED ME HUGE AMOUNTS OF LAXATIVES, I NOW DEFICATE MY PANTS CONSTANTLY.
IF ONE DOES A GOOGLE SEARCH UNDER HER NAME, MY TOILET FLUSHES UNTIL IT OVERFLOWS. THIS PROVES SHE IS EVIL.
SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE
ARLINGTON, TEXAS
AGE: 33
BRANDON M. WITTE | November 8, 2009 at 11:24 pm
DISREGARD THE LAST RIDICULOUS COMMENT LEFT HERE IN MY NAME. SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE ARLINGTON, TEXAS AGE: 33
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