Paris Hilton is cunning

August 22nd, 2006 // 139 Comments
paris_hilton_friends.jpg

“I’ll pick out two outfits, one which is disgusting and one nice and I’ll ask my ‘friend’ what they think. If they go for the revolting one, I cut them out of my life.”

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Comments (139)

  1. delibird | August 22, 2006 at 8:16 am

    first, and man that is cruel

    Reply
  2. Dean | August 22, 2006 at 8:19 am

    This post is confusing. Me no likey. :(

    Reply
  3. lollydoodle | August 22, 2006 at 8:20 am

    “And then I put that revolting outfit on and get photographed as many times as possible.”

    Reply
  4. dmarie | August 22, 2006 at 8:21 am

    Paris deserves her name. Because, much like the French she is stinky (hello crusty armpits), she has bad fashion sense (zebra dress and alien blue sweatsuit), and she just plain sucks.

    Reply
  5. Solaera | August 22, 2006 at 8:21 am

    lol @ #3

    What a skank.

    Reply
  6. NandD | August 22, 2006 at 8:22 am

    now we know what Nicole did.

    Reply
  7. HelloTimeBomb | August 22, 2006 at 8:23 am

    I don’t know if that’s a good way to test friendship. People have different taste.

    Reply
  8. krisdylee | August 22, 2006 at 8:23 am

    The title should say Paris Hilton is cunting.

    Reply
  9. tits_on_snack | August 22, 2006 at 8:24 am

    That’s exactly how I choose my friends.
    Only instead of picking out different outfits that either look good or look bad and making them choose which looks better on me and basing their worth on the chicness of their decision, we have conversations and hang out together. Other than that though it’s exactly the same.

    Reply
  10. jrzmommy | August 22, 2006 at 8:25 am

    Paris Hilton, the human equivalent to the kiddie pool…shallow, full of shit and loaded with nasty bacteria.

    Reply
  11. Tom Horseonovich Colligan | August 22, 2006 at 8:26 am

    I would take two pairs of my giant dirty soiled underwear, and have Paris snort deeply from the crotch of each. “Which pair did I fart in the most, Paris?” If she can’t tell that I pushed out a turtle into both pairs, then I will not go out with her.

    Reply
  12. autumnbottom | August 22, 2006 at 8:26 am

    And suddenly her comment about Nicole Richie and why they’re not friends anymore, “She knows what she did”, makes SO much more sense.

    Reply
  13. yesdnil311 | August 22, 2006 at 8:26 am

    Pairs Hilton? Come one! Typos typos!!

    Reply
  14. YoMamma | August 22, 2006 at 8:29 am

    Isnt she great guys?? Wow. what a nice, respectable young lady…trying to keep a good respectable reputation. Sweet girl. I mean, it is all about the outfit, not about meaningful lifetime relationships.
    Those are for poor people.

    Reply
  15. TaiTai | August 22, 2006 at 8:30 am

    @2 I’m confused too. So the outfits she wears are the ones she thinks are the good ones? What the hell do the awful ones look like?? Methinks this system isn’t working so well for Ms. Paris.

    Reply
  16. lohanjob | August 22, 2006 at 8:32 am

    ‘I ask a guy which he would rather have, herpes or syphillis, and if he picks the herpdog, well then he’s a keeper…’

    Reply
  17. hav-a-tampa | August 22, 2006 at 8:33 am

    i’d still fuck her sister

    Reply
  18. CelebSlam.com | August 22, 2006 at 8:39 am

    What if they make fun of her herpes?

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  19. kandyk0119 | August 22, 2006 at 8:41 am

    Kiddie Pool, Good One #10!!

    Reply
  20. al rarow | August 22, 2006 at 8:41 am

    Useless whore.

    Reply
  21. thesarahficial | August 22, 2006 at 8:44 am

    …..wow

    Reply
  22. fearsarewishes | August 22, 2006 at 8:48 am

    Admit it. She is brilliant. Truly, a modern day Solomon.

    Reply
  23. JonnyRoXx | August 22, 2006 at 8:49 am

    OK..honestly, i thought she had at least a LITTLE sensibility, being that she makes all that money and invests in all these different aspects of the media, but seriously, could she BE any more of an asshole?
    the things she says makes me wanna beat the shit out of her…she needs to keep an everlasting cock in her mouth to keep her from saying stupid idiotic shit like this!

    Reply
  24. joslibrarian | August 22, 2006 at 8:54 am

    #9–funny!

    Yikes. How can one’s sense of reality become so distorted…I mean, it’s got to be a joke. I think.

    Reply
  25. Tanor | August 22, 2006 at 8:54 am

    What if mommy and daddy pick the revolting outfit?

    http://www.BadBreakups.net

    Reply
  26. RichPort | August 22, 2006 at 9:10 am

    Her closet must have a bunch of those faceless heads with different wigs on them, looking eerily like a cannibal chief’s hut or Lord of the Flies. Hopefully we’ll find her head on a stick someday.

    Reply
  27. Onenewshoe | August 22, 2006 at 9:14 am

    Could it be this is the way we should all start picking our friends? Turn her upside down and it won’t matter what the hell she wears.

    Reply
  28. HolisticWisdomcom | August 22, 2006 at 9:16 am

    Beauty on the outside does not necessarily translate to it on the outside. Paris is one of the biggest examples of that in our society.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com/paris-hilton-sex-tape.htm

    Reply
  29. SallyUp | August 22, 2006 at 9:16 am

    I’m sorry…

    Nicole

    Reply
  30. Tikal | August 22, 2006 at 9:17 am

    This is from her book back in 04, and right after that line she says ‘unless they have really bad taste” duh old news

    Reply
  31. jrzmommy | August 22, 2006 at 9:29 am

    I wish I had friends.

    Reply
  32. pinky_nip | August 22, 2006 at 9:31 am

    I pick my friends by the size of their vibrators.

    Reply
  33. Lynette Carrington | August 22, 2006 at 9:33 am

    Wow, being in second grade is SO tough!

    Reply
  34. beanncheese | August 22, 2006 at 9:34 am

    I wonder what happens when they think her FACE is revolting!

    http://www.spoonspam.com

    Reply
  35. Binky | August 22, 2006 at 9:35 am

    I guess everyone picked the wrong outfit.

    Reply
  36. polypam | August 22, 2006 at 9:43 am

    I think the friends she keeps are even more cunning: they pick out an outfit that she likes, she wears it, and still looks like trash. Bravo!

    Reply
  37. can't help myself | August 22, 2006 at 9:46 am

    #12 – I’m confused…isn’t “She knows what she did” the same thing that Tom said about Nicole Kidman? Do you think Nicole told him it was ok to go out wearing flat shoes or something?

    Reply
  38. shierkahn | August 22, 2006 at 9:47 am

    Ewwwww…I thought the title said “Cumming”, and I actually threw up in my mouth a lil.

    Reply
  39. bigponie | August 22, 2006 at 9:56 am

    Paris is her own best friend, she should ask herself to choose an outfit and if she chooses the wrong one than she can endlessly kick herself for having bad taste.

    Reply
  40. Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | August 22, 2006 at 10:08 am

    I bet she’s one of those people who make fun of people who drive Hondas and Fords. You know, us little people.

    Reply
  41. notmeganharris | August 22, 2006 at 10:09 am

    I only have friends who aren’t as pretty as I am. Just in case.

    Reply
  42. 86 | August 22, 2006 at 10:17 am

    It must be exhausting to be Paris Hilton.

    Reply
  43. YourRetarded | August 22, 2006 at 10:17 am

    Paris to friend: “Do I go with ‘skank-ho’ or ‘skankier-ho’?”
    Friend: “Ummmm….”
    Paris: “Come on. Which one says ‘I am a physical manifestation of the herpes virus?’”
    Friend: “Well, I…”
    Paris: “I can’t HEAR YOU. Would you wear ‘Nip-slip neckline’ or ‘You’d have to lift only an inch of this skirt to lick my butt, Owen Wilson,’?”
    Friend: “I think I have to go.”
    Paris: “Whatever, bitch.”
    [End of scene]

    Reply
  44. DancingQueen | August 22, 2006 at 10:22 am

    It’s like that saying, you never know how truly dumb someone is until they open their mouth. So true!

    Reply
  45. rudesauce | August 22, 2006 at 10:23 am

    I guess it’s time to cut herself out of her life, because those wide belts have got-to-go. Or maybe she’ll just cut herself.

    Reply
  46. reptilicus | August 22, 2006 at 10:24 am

    So is this taking place at a store or does she already own these outfits?

    Reply
  47. 86 | August 22, 2006 at 10:26 am

    46 she already owns them. That’s how rich she is. She can buy stuff she knows is ugly and not care.

    Reply
  48. Rimmer | August 22, 2006 at 10:26 am

    These days the kinkajou gets to decide what she wears.

    Reply
  49. StomachPunch | August 22, 2006 at 10:27 am

    paris hilton is a no good piece of shit whore…the only fame she earned was from being a whore. more whore behavior at Dirty Rotten Whore

    Reply
  50. UNWASHEDMASSES | August 22, 2006 at 10:31 am

    Vapid, thy name is Paris Hilton. It must be nice to be able to cut people off so easily. I’ve got a friend since high school and ever since he ate all my Little Debbie snack cakes I’ve been trying to cut him off for years but to no avail. She’s trying to come off cool, and instead achieves cold hearted. What she doesn’t realize is those “friends” she terminates were never really friends at all. They were only with her for the parties, the lifestyle, and the free drugs/sex. I’m sure when these ex-friends pine about losing Paris, about picking the wrong fucking frock, they do so because they miss her sweet laughter, her rapier wit, and her loving generosity. Right.

    Reply

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