Paris Hilton is business savvy

May 8th, 2009 // 38 Comments

In case anyone forgot Paris Hilton is a gigantic fucking idiot, here are some highlights from a pre-trial hearing she participated in yesterday. She’s being sued for $8 million for failing to promote the 2006 comedy Pledge This! in which she starred and served as executive producer: Via Us Magazine:

On keeping a diary of business meetings:
“I just press my name and Google it and see.”

On if she received calls from the producers:
“With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time. I probably get a new cellphone, like, every two weeks.” When shown a copy of her cell phone bill, she replied: “I’ve never seen a phone bill of mine in my life.”

On promoting the film:
“Any chance I got, any red carpet, any press, if I was doing something for another product…I would just bring it up, ‘Oh, my new sorority film, it’s going to be sexy, it’s going to be really hot girls.’ Like, I really, you know, did my best.”

On being the executive producer:
“I’m not sure what a producer does, but – I don’t know, help get cool people in the cast?”

Apparently, this is Learn Some Personal Responsibility Week on The Superficial. First, we had a fashion designer who thought it’d be a good idea to get between Kiefer Sutherland and delicious bourbon. Now, film execs who decided to make Paris Hilton an executive producer. Really? Paris Hilton? I’m pretty sure you could’ve slapped sunglasses on a beagle and made a wiser investment.

Photos: Splash News

  1. debagger

    dumb bitch

  2. Flutterwall


  3. PHisDUMB

    Even with all this unearned money and fame, I feel like Paris’s life is pretty empty. Never having to work for anything, never building any character. Good for her.

  4. Three words: Burn those hats

  5. Kelley

    Exactly … I wish I’d never seen a phone bill of mine. Like, take this, like, fucking waste of, like, space, and like, take it out back and like, shoot it !! Why do I get the feeling that Lindsay Lohan is actually marginally smarter ??

  6. Duder

    I did, in fact, put sunglasses on my beagle. It was cool as shit.

  7. PHisDUMB

    She is already starting to look like one of those creepy, old ladies that’s nasty to everyone and tries to bring people down to her level ala Great Expectations. I’m sure 90% of you haven’t read that boo, though.

  8. jennyjenjen

    If you are going to be insulting @7 at least spell check before you post.

  9. Snoopy

    As a beagle who will occasionally wear a pair of sunglasses, I’m insulted to be compared with this dumb cow.

    Personally, I wouldn’t even consider humping her leg.

  10. ET

    Christ, what a stupid fucking cunt. Can’t she die already?

  11. Vince Lombardi

    Anyone see a Martha Stewart resemblance?

  12. p0nk

    somehow it’s not hard to imagine Paris Hilton spending all day Googling her own name, with safe search off, no doubt.

    @8 jennyjenjen, awesome as always.

  13. Watching her cry in the back of that cop car was one of the greatest moments of my life. I only want bad things to happen to this c-nt.

    buzzhouse D-0-T c o m bitches!

  14. Wow she is just fascinating, isn’t she? Not in a good way.

  15. Sardonic

    There has to be another way to incarcerate her.

  16. Am I REALLY supposed to feel sorry for the movie company? If you hire a retard, don’t be shocked when she does something stupid!

  17. steve

    “Learn Some Personal Responsibility Week on The Superficial.”

    You forgot about Jon dealing with the consequences of failing to knock out all of Kate’s teeth years ago.

  18. Huh?

    @15: I think you meant incinerate. Please tell me you meant incinerate. Because I will happily provide the matches.

  19. mark e

    haha. she’s pretty dumb…but i feel like shes playing up the dumb a little extra here so she wont have to shell out $8mil.

  20. the complete failure of capitalsim

    …and we wonder why we the poor are so fucked. And why the mindless masses of the GOP are so fucking aimless.

    This is the face of capitalism. Rush Limbaugh is the loudspeaker. Two complete and total morons. One borderline retarded and the other one a fat, drug addled llying hypocrite.

    The new president proposes programs to dig the poor out ot the mess made by the rich and their zombie slaves (republican masses) after they lead us to Iraq to do the bidding of (we know, don’t we? go on, say it cowards) of their owners that they so slavishly serve and crush what little goodwill was left between our nation and the rest of the world.

    I hope this whore dies soon.

  21. jennyjenjen

    @12 And we all know that he’s only seen the movie..

  22. Judi

    It wasn’t a pre-trial hearing. It was a deposition. Here it is:

  23. Ok

    She was obviously advised by her legal team to play dumb.

  24. testington

    Is it bad that this makes me like her again?

  25. Mike

    A personal responsibility attack from the Fish? Indeed, we all have none here, having supported Obama. By the way, where’s my fucking check?

  26. Era

    yehh i like dat… if ya change ya phone for two weeks, just send me one of ya old pls.. (

  27. RichPort's Ghost

    by “business savvy” do you mean “a goddamn fucking cunt”?

  28. Fati

    Can a human-being actually be this dumb?

  29. Darth

    The hat on the 2nd pic is allright.But the yellow hat is better for the summer.

  30. Rhialto

    On top of her head,the yellow hat looks more like an imploding sun.

  31. Have we all not had enough of Paris Hilton that we have to see this gal every single day. Why not boycott her for some days.

  32. manders

    Is she honestly that retarded that everyone has to hold her hand threw life. how pathetic

  33. Unklejoe

    Paris can i use your nose as a can opener

  34. Joe Mahma

    She’s a 12 year old in the body of a woman.

    She’s never had to be responsible for anything in her life.

  35. el ces

    They always shell us the worst pics of her.
    I like this more mature look she’s putting on though.

    About the text, rich ppl don’t need to be smart. They can hire poor smart ppl.

    …don’t sue Paris Hilton. It will not end well.

  36. dd

    i bet she googles herself a lot.

  37. LMS

    Yep, I knew it! I had a feeling this bitch builds shuttles for NASA in her spare time!-
    Read: not on her back

  38. I like life in Paris seems too empty. The building work for anything, any character ever. Good for him.

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