As if there weren’t enough reasons to hate her, Paris Hilton supposedly parks in handicapped spaces now. Residents of the Los Angeles apartment complex where Cardinals quarterback Matt Leinart lives say every time she visits she pulls into the handicapped spot. Paris’ rep Elliot Mintz says, “I find the reports surprising.”
I’m sure this is all just a simple misunderstanding. How is Paris Hilton supposed to know having the IQ of a ferret doesn’t qualify her as handicapped? She has the IQ of a ferret. She can’t figure that shit out on her own. It’s like a vicious cycle.
mawabef | June 8, 2006 at 6:53 pm
wow, she’s the worst.
ScriptRadar | June 8, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Meh!
mrs.t | June 8, 2006 at 6:55 pm
Maybe she counts the Wonky Eye as a handicap.
mrs.t | June 8, 2006 at 6:55 pm
And the herp.
hollywoodavenue | June 8, 2006 at 6:58 pm
she does this all the time, @ lisa kline & hollywood ave boutique. maybe she realy is handicapped!
Dj | June 8, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Are those new cans?
ScriptRadar | June 8, 2006 at 7:01 pm
Mental handicap?
waterranger | June 8, 2006 at 7:01 pm
what a whore. You can park a truck in a “small car” spot, but you CANNOT park in a handicapped spot UNLESS YOU ARE HANDICAPPED or taking your grandmother (who is in a wheelchair) out shopping. Its just rude.
Not Hot, Paris, that is NOT hot.
Caught Dead In That Dress | June 8, 2006 at 7:06 pm
#5 Hollywood Avenue would know all about Paris, as the link in their name seems to be where Paris buys all her clothes.
They Suck | June 8, 2006 at 7:07 pm
What a bitch. If she’s too lazy to hoof it, she surely could hire someone to carry her around. Dumb.
jane's eyre | June 8, 2006 at 7:09 pm
1986 called–they want their sunglasses back.
I wonder how much she paid for those stupid things. And a MATCHING HEADBAND, for the love of pete.
They look like she won them at Chuck E. Cheese’s. And by “won”, I mean she climbed up into to skee ball game and dropped the balls into the “500″ hole.
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:09 pm
Who does this little cunt think she is? Or maybe herpes is considered a disability – maybe she should put a big sticker on her car with a picture of a big, red running sore on it…
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:14 pm
Ecchhh…if I was Leinart I don’t know if I would want the whole ‘hood to know that I was slipping my wick into that overworked slit that’s had God-Only-Knows-Who in there before him…it must be like “one stop shopping” you can fuck half of West Hollywood all at once…she should park in the back or take the bus like all the other hookers…
prideofchucky | June 8, 2006 at 7:16 pm
PEOPLE-PEOPLE-PLEAZZZZEE!!!
DO WE HAVE PROOF THAT SHE IS NOT RETARDED?!!??!
Look at that picture-
Whoever is on the other line of that cell phone- all they’re hearing is the ocean..
jane's eyre | June 8, 2006 at 7:25 pm
I think the writer is being too kind–an IQ of a ferret is a tad too generous. And cute.
I’m thinking the IQ of the betta fish in my kid’s room.
Nikky Raney | June 8, 2006 at 7:27 pm
i bet she can’t even see any of those signs with those huge sunglasses.
and whoa. since when does PARIS drive HERSELF anywhere? how do you know she isn’t driven by some handicapped guy
Dean | June 8, 2006 at 7:27 pm
What year does she think it is, 1984? WTF is up with her sunglasses?
She’s probably not even holding a cell phone up to her ear – it’s probably a lighter or a compact. *prays that it’s a lighter*
blueballs | June 8, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Paris really is handicapped…her pussy lips are so stretched out from all the guys that she has banged and girls who have sucked on her that her labia drags behind her and make it almost impossible for her to walk.
prideofchucky | June 8, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Hey Jane #11-
THIS is one Chuck that wouldn’t drop his balls in her “500″ hole.
jane's eyre | June 8, 2006 at 7:30 pm
17
No such luck even if it IS a lighter–they’ve got those child-proof things on them.
jane's eyre | June 8, 2006 at 7:31 pm
19
You are a wise and discerning man.
limper | June 8, 2006 at 7:31 pm
re 13: Paris has a thing for jocks. Eli Manning’s number was on her Blackberry way back when. Maybe she’s trying to bring down the NFL by infecting as many quarterbacks as possible with herpes or smallpox or whatever it is she’s got going on down her nethers.
She also needs to get a new rep. The best line he could come up with is “I find the reports surprising”? Not good.
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:31 pm
17
Better a fucking grenade…
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:34 pm
#16…
Right, since when does this dirtbag ever drive her own car?? Usually she is in the back seat with her best friend’s boyfriend and the car is moving up and down instead of forward…
bigponie | June 8, 2006 at 7:35 pm
P – positively
A – anal
R – retentive
I – insane
S – slut
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:37 pm
P – Pustulous
A – Anal sex addicted
R – Rank
I – Infected (you name it)
S – SLUT
Iambananas | June 8, 2006 at 7:41 pm
P art of you wants to be flirty.
A ll the res is just filthy dirty.
R ight, there’s not cure for herpes, girl.
I t’s perminit, mot like hair curls.
S ay goodbye to being covited,pretty, and cute.
Everyone and their mother has seen you in your birthday suit!
And it aint pretty
jane's eyre | June 8, 2006 at 7:47 pm
24
Maybe no one wants to give her a ride anymore. Those stains are a bitch to get out.
blueballs | June 8, 2006 at 7:53 pm
Lienart just needs another BUSH press his balls against. He found a great tight end with Paris unknowing she’s ganged banged almost every football team out there.
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 7:57 pm
“There once was an heiress named Hilton…
Whose overworked snatch was a wiltin’
The doctor was brought, to work on her twat…
Her diaphram now is a built in!”
Italian Stallion | June 8, 2006 at 8:00 pm
What a bitch. For punishment they should put her in a bag with kittens, and toss her in a fucking lake………..
UNWASHEDMASSES | June 8, 2006 at 8:01 pm
She’s on her knees so much she practically qualifies as handicap.
herbiefrog | June 8, 2006 at 8:01 pm
perhaps
all
rou
ok we v
cheated
so get over ity
come her babe
you need a jolly good
ciuddle:)
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 8:01 pm
P – Is for all the penises you’ve sucked…
A – Is cuz you’re such an asshole…
R – Is cuz you’re always “ready” to fuck…
I – Is for the Idiot you are…
S – Is cuz you’re our favorite skank…
Paaaaaaris, we loooove you…..
redsonja1313 | June 8, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Please someone…….when will her 15 minutes be UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 8:05 pm
What’s the difference between Paris Hilton and a pickup truck??
The truck has a smaller box and a smoother ride…
sharkbite | June 8, 2006 at 8:07 pm
Oh, well, considering how many idiotic things she does, you know she’s at least mentally handicapped…
http://www.wehateeverybody.com
jlp9834 | June 8, 2006 at 8:14 pm
#31. we should atleast take the kittens out before doing so don’t you think?
With those sun glasses people probably think shes mentally handicaped. She must have some major racoon eyes. Her and Nicole Richie both.
HarryNipples | June 8, 2006 at 8:16 pm
“In paris’ latest film, she pays a slutty intern at the White House who decides to accept a dangerous mission to Baghdad to spy on Al Quada, but her vibrator accidentally falls out of her burqua and she ends up getting gang fucked by mujaddeen who think she is a baby camel”
Best part is she DIES at the end!!!!!
MeanNate | June 8, 2006 at 8:17 pm
What’s up with the ferret bashing?
barbijd | June 8, 2006 at 9:01 pm
She is handicapped; mentally and morally handicapped.
Giggles | June 8, 2006 at 9:05 pm
I hope she gets towed and her car is “lost.”
chanel_bear | June 8, 2006 at 9:14 pm
this is low even for her. how fucking sel-centered and egotistical do you have to be to park in a handicapped space? she needs to drop dead.
Iambananas | June 8, 2006 at 9:15 pm
Look at the two guys in the background…. the guy with the hat and the guy with the long hair.
They both looked totally stoned.
ifsixwasnine | June 8, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Let the retarded douchelock keep the parking spot, we’ve long suspected she was retarded, or at least slightly touched (see: wonky eye), now we just have confirmation that she is most definitely retarded.
P – athetic, spoiled
A – nal queen who’s obviously been
R – ode hard and put away wet and won’t stop
I – nfecting people with
S – yphilis
headlights | June 8, 2006 at 10:01 pm
Paris got her period when she was filming her video..check this out
http://www.imnotobsessed.com/2006/05/28/my-tampon-doesnt-go-with-my-outfit/#more-2520
Fa Cube Itches | June 8, 2006 at 10:11 pm
11: Come on, give the girl some credit!
She shot the skee-balls out of her vag. Points for accuracy, but I feel sorry for the poor kid who plays after her. The tyke’s mom and dad gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do to the pediatrician.
uncle_leo | June 8, 2006 at 11:03 pm
People please. Its not nice to make fun of the handicapped. The reason she can park there is because her googly eye completely distorts her depth perception rendering her nearly blind. The sunglasses are just a decoy to hide her physical defect. Lazy eye is an illness, too! I ran in the 2005 Race for the Lazy Eye Cure.
ShelbyWoo | June 8, 2006 at 11:22 pm
I have to agree with #15.
A ferret’s intellect is far more superior than that crazy slutbag’s; a betta fish is much more appropriate.
I wonder if she would fight with herself if you held a mirror in front of her….
Ari | June 8, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Fa– If I cap her, can you get me off?