Paris Hilton is an awesome friend

September 10th, 2007 // 111 Comments
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Paris Hilton announced that Christina Aguilera is pregnant to a crowded Club LAX in Las Vegas over the weekend. While Christina has been seen with a noticeable bump, she has not yet publicly confirmed the pregnancy. Fortunately saints like Paris Hilton exist and have no sense of decorum. Us Magazine reports:

“Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, you’re gorgeous,” Hilton, 26, said to the packed crowd, while Aguilera, 26 (whose video ‘Candy Man’ is up for Best Director at the MTV VMAs) sat nearby in uncomfortable silence.

Paris then went on to announce other obvious facts including the sky is blue, the grass is green and she has herpes. And also something about my abs being incredibly chiseled. I believe “sculpted steel” were her exact words.

Photos: Splash
superficial

  1. XtinaFan

    Pic 3, Christina looks SO GORGEOUS

  2. Perhaps they could make things better by cutting out her tongue. And then continue with the rest of her head.
    ————————————————————————————————-
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  3. Old Man

    Texas Tranny – Hey at least I’ll have you there to teach me the “ins and outs”. I’ll let you have first dibs on the fat black ones, since your obviously a trained professional.

  4. Old Man

    Texas Tranny – If I eat my pigeon, what am I gonna spooge on when you’re not around?

  5. jrzmommy

    i also think “jrzmommy” means super clever in latin.

  6. That’s it?

    Pretty lame for an OldMan.

    Hardee, Har, Har.

    Do you cry yourself to sleep with the sound of your Mother’s headboard banging on the wall, as she and “Uncle Bob” talk? Or do you watch and wait for Mommy to offer you a nice “cream-pie” dessert?

  7. sea

    Enough with Paris. I want a report on the irony of Brit getting upset with Sarah (re:-children are mistakes and twat jokes) then going put and flashing her cooch AGAIN.

  8. “If I eat my pigeon, what am I gonna spooge on when you’re not around?”

    Your Mother’s face?
    Her mouth?
    Her asshole?
    You use them all the time, why stop now?

  9. Old Man

    Texas Tranny – I like yer laugh, it really shows off yer pearly whites, which go so well with the necklace I gave you.

  10. Kiwi

    I was just coming in to comment on her ugly hands but I see you all already have that covered.

    With all the money she makes can’t she afford to not look like she’s chewed her nails down to nubs?

  11. Spook

    #11
    “YOUTARD”…? Is that what little girls wear to ballet class?
    Learn to spell shithead.

  12. FRIST'S TWIN

    This woman needs a hysterectomy. Women like her should not be allowed to reproduce.

  13. Lindsay

    Am I the only one that thought that she looked terrible with her old lady hair at the VMA’s last night?

  14. ssdd

    Always neverending in the news wonky-eyed motherfucker……………. no telling how much disgusting black dick she had to suck to stay in piss-daddys party last night …

  15. Gus

    i’d never fuck a woman like this… after all, it’s not like i found my dick in the garbage or something…

  16. steve-o

    “One does not simply slip into Paris. Its meaty gates are guarded by more than just herpes. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly.”

  17. Danklin24

    I’m going out on a limb here and say Christina looks absolutely terrible here. wtf is with that lipstick?

  18. MMB

    Um, Pic 3 Xtina caught Paris’s wonky eye…

    and by the way, Halloween called and they want their makeup back. No, they just want you back Xtina. The whole thing.

  19. BunnyButt

    I can’t believe the lack of commentary on the excessive amount of make up Christina is wearing (except for 74′s reference to her lipstick). 1. She looks like either a female impersonator (not that there’s anything wrong with female impersonators, but female impersonators are men trying to cover up male features, like facial hair growth, and it can take heavy make up to do so, but she’s a woman … trying to cover up … what?) or a clown; 2. that amount of make up is bound to cause SOME sort of birth defect in her unborn child. What with the bleached hair, I’m thinking there’s a lot of cosmetic chemical activity going on that an expectant mother should refrain from.

    BTW, TT, I dreamt about you last night. A field of pale pink flowers appeared to me, and, as I looked across it, there you were in your pale pink outfit and blonde wig. Which made me wake up. Fast.

  20. BunnyButt,
    Was it a nightmare? or a wet dream?

    Tee Hee

  21. ya_rly

    Paris, watch out! Gollum’s grabbing your face!

    Oh wait, that’s *your* hand?

    Where did nubby fingers come from in your family tree?

  22. So I’m guessing getting knocked up is the hawtest new trend right now?

  23. Italian Stallion

    Paris’ eye is like that because she’s trying to find her brain……………..

  24. T

    @41 that picture is very very disturbing

  25. flygirl

    hey, everybody! ItalianStallion is funny. i mean, how does he do it? such witty shit over and over again!?!

  26. Bigo

    Paris is an ass-kisser!

  27. Italian Stallion

    @82 I definately detect sarcasim there, but whatever fucker, at least I try instead of saying the same stupid shit all the time………

  28. Wee

    She just wants Christina to like her.
    That herpes whore doesn’t get that Christina is 100 times better than her.

  29. Tony

    PARIS HAS OLD MAN HANDS

  30. flygirl

    you know what, stallion? you’re right. i gotta give you credit. i actually enjoy many of your posts. it’s just when you degenerate into racist bullshit that it annoys me.

  31. ember

    As to why Christina hasn’t announced her pregnancy, she and her husband were seen coming out of a “high risk” pregnancy unit a few months ago. Maybe there are complications and they wanted to make sure she could carry to term before getting everyone excited.

  32. Private School Junkie

    Number eighty-eight: That’s a really good point. I wouldn’t have thought that might be a possibility…

    I hope Christina has a safe and sound pregnancy, and that her baby is a happy and healthy one. I think she’d be one of the coolest mom’s ever.

  33. Big Mama

    Paris want to be a Mother so bad, well really she is a “Mother” already (if you know what I mean), but I think she is trying to figure out how to get into the hospital after Christina’s baby is born to steal it. If I were Christina, I would be afraid of Paris, very, very afraid. Paris is very odd and creeps me out.

  34. frenchie

    …I don’t know…Xtina looks like a clown in all that makeup. It doesn’t look good. Either a clown or Dee Snider.

  35. yo

    I’m happy for Christina, I think that’s great. She isn’t dancing foolishyl, half drunk on the VMAs trying to make a comeback. She had her 15 minutes and gracefully bowed out. Good for her.

  36. yo

    But Christina does look kind of funny though, hahaha. Dee Snyder DOES come to mind. And Paris’ hands are beasts….wow

  37. LINz

    Hello everyone??!!! Has anyone noticed Paris’ eye? She looks like her fucking face is melting. You hear all this stuff about how she is just georgeous and was even a model, and u wonder wtf? I am not one to knock on looks, but this is disturbing. She looks like a dried out peice of parchment. The eye thing is really creepy….I think she is staring at me….or is she just trying to think up something clever to say. It looks like she is having a hard time. I think it would be interesting to see her without ten pounds of eyeliner and base makeup and see what she really looks like. I think she would be a cross between Golem and That weird stick guy off of Pans Labrynth.

  38. Shallow Val

    No one steals Paris´ thunder…..no one! hi Bitch!

  39. Dirk

    fuck i guess it would have been better if she saiid Aguilera’s dog had a litter, you people suck!

  40. Italian Stallion

    @87 I am one of the most non racist person you will ever meet. You’ll be surprised, but some of the shit I say is for the idiots who are and laugh at it. This is just for shits and giggles. I say some pretty fucked up shit, but whatever, i’m joking…………

  41. jrzmommy

    62–JrzTroll–it does fuckbag, and don’t you fucking forget it.

  42. P

    Paris looks like a victim of fetal alcohol syndrome in these pics. Her face is quite tardriffic!

  43. BunnyButt

    Alas, TT, neither. Just an amuzing surprise.

  44. CLAUDIA_DE_SCRATCH

    @99 You said it best!!! Looks like she’s been beat by SEVERAL fugly sticks! She has some big ass feet! You can’t really tell in these pics, but I’m convinced this twat is a man.

  45. omg

    i figured it out…christina has started developing a paris-like wonky eye and paris was like, :”omg no u didnt” n decided to get back at her

  46. jerko

    christina aguilera is a weird looking girl who looks uglier than any other female celebrity without make up. that is why her husband is ugly. i hate bow legs

  47. hobieluv83

    “Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world”

    I believe what she meant to say was “Congratulations to the most beautiful PREGNANT CLOWN in the world” based on these photos of Christina.

  48. MiNa

    she has a weird hand. initially thought it wasn’t hers but good lord… it’s her hand!

  49. She is such a stupid nasty White Christian slut.

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