Paris Hilton is an awesome friend

September 10th, 2007 // 111 Comments

Paris Hilton announced that Christina Aguilera is pregnant to a crowded Club LAX in Las Vegas over the weekend. While Christina has been seen with a noticeable bump, she has not yet publicly confirmed the pregnancy. Fortunately saints like Paris Hilton exist and have no sense of decorum. Us Magazine reports:

“Congratulations to the most beautiful pregnant woman in the world, you’re gorgeous,” Hilton, 26, said to the packed crowd, while Aguilera, 26 (whose video ‘Candy Man’ is up for Best Director at the MTV VMAs) sat nearby in uncomfortable silence.

Paris then went on to announce other obvious facts including the sky is blue, the grass is green and she has herpes. And also something about my abs being incredibly chiseled. I believe “sculpted steel” were her exact words.

Photos: Splash

  1. ---( - )( - )----

    This is a direct stab at Brit.
    P.H. hates Brit and I don’t know why.

  2. What a yatch. Paris looks like a mongoloid in those bottom photos.

  3. Spook

    Obviously Tim and Ron are the same person.

  4. TOM


  5. ambidextroushandjob

    Nicole is preggers, so is Christina, and wow! surprise! Paris just so happens it’s time for her to have children? Pathetic attention whore. She can’t stand it that they have something she doesn’t. Try getting – and keeping – a relationship with another adult that doesn’t tank after 6 months first, skank.

  6. RON


  7. I think Tom and Ron are Krazy Kelli’s Brothers

  8. TOM


  9. @12
    I never did learn to do it with my left hand.

  10. Gary

    “Sculpted Steel” abs, huh? Now we know you’re lying, because Paris Hilton would be lucky to be able to even understand the words “Sculpted Steel”, much less say them. And even if she managed to muster the actual speech of those syllables, to say them together like that the alliteration would surely fluster her lol.

  11. camila

    that wasn’t rea;lly nice but whatever,we all knew.
    and why shes saying that christina is the most beautiful pregnant women???

    is she trying to say that NICOLE RICHIE is an ugly pregnant women?!?!?!?

    OMG!!!!!!! they’r not friends anymore???

    common they were BFF so ….. WTF!

  12. @15 then you are stupid fucking TROLL

  13. CA preggers is the worst kept secret since the holocost!

  14. LadyJane

    I went spelunking in Paris’svagina once and found the lost city of Atlantis.

  15. bob

    wtc is up with the black tights. they look terrible with both of these outfits.

  16. Bob
    They should’ve gone with fishnets or some that were real lacy.

  17. Biohazard

    @21 – OMG, I hope your were wearing a hazmat suit!!

  18. whackjob

    What a hideous monkey-paw of a mitt in that photo, and that’s an insult to monkeys everywhere.

  19. bob

    23 – or paper bag over the head, at least for Paris.

  20. p0nk

    judging from pic 3, paris apparently thinks the “Lax” in Club Lax stands for ‘laxative’.
    /i see the trolls are still alive and well.
    //veggi, i lost your email addy.

  21. Dan Rather

    This might be the most important news story I’ve ever seen.

  22. Old Man

    Judging by the comments, the average age of the people who comment here is about 10 yo:

    13. RON – September 10, 2007 12:10 PM


    14. Jimbo – September 10, 2007 12:11 PM

    I think Tom and Ron are Krazy Kelli’s Brothers

    15. TOM – September 10, 2007 12:12 PM


    16. TOM – MOMMY, JIMBOS A BIG MEANY!!!!!!!!

  23. Old Man

    Superfish – you really need to do something to police this site. Some people require adult supervision and should not be exposed to the potential mature nature of the comments here. Also, somebody needs to call the truant officer on Tom and Ron. If they’re well enough to be on this site, then they are well enough to go to school. Plus they obviously have missed too much school already.

  24. Hypocrites

    Anybody who is a guy here is a hypocrite. Here you are saying that Paris Hilton is a slut, herpes, un-talented. etc. Now I agree. But she is what you want! Don’t tell me your not attracted to girls. Most preppy girls act that way. Look at the clothes, the hair styles, the large sunglasses. Whorish styling look. That all came from Paris! She is the fashion symbol for teen girls these years. And you are hypocrites.

    Maybe because I’m a fat, ugly, bitch. But maybe I’m not, but maybe I am. Yep I am.

  25. I hear somebody’s Mommy calling.
    “Babykins, you better not be on that nasty Superficial website, or you’re going to get a spanking……….OTK, butt naked.

  26. spigot

    So does Christina know if it’ll be a little baby orange, or a tangerine?

  27. Old Man

    @31 – I must agree, I would take Paris anyday over the likes of you. Because as you said, she is truly what guys want. But don’t be bitter, you should be proud since you obviously have such a winning personality.

  28. jrzmommy

    I think “Paris Hilton” means “Thunder Stealing Bitch” in Latin.

  29. First FRIST frantically fisted me, and then I felt a fistula further fissuring following father’s forceful fucking.

  30. @36 You are back you stupid fucking troll. Stop living in the past with you and your brothers sexual experiences. He is gone now, let him go!!!

  31. Old Man

    Paris lives in a cheesy soap opera world, where she thinks it’s cool and subtle to make cheesy soap opera like jabs at people. Paris probably thought Christina looked at her funny or something, and decided to get even. Or maybe there has been tension between them for a while, and Paris heard that Christina was going to announce her pregnancy so she decided to rob Christina of that moment. It’s exactly the kind of cheesy catty behavior you see in soap operas. I don’t even think Paris realizes how transparent and theatrical her actions are. But that’s OK, BECAUSE THE MEDIA ONLY REWARDS BAD BEHAVIOR. Like the the retarted Miss Teen USA contestant. As long as you’re pretty, you could go around murdering orphans, and people would be throwing money at you.

  32. Ash

    Oh whatever who cares. And why would you hide your pregnancy. Isnt that suppose to be a special occasion in a womans life. I mean come on Halle Barry finally came out. Let it go we all already knew.. it wasnt like she was going to pop out a baby and we all go WTF WE HAD NO IDEA… As far as Paris goes …would we expect anything less from her…

  33. Mg

    WHAT THE HELL?!?! Paris has the most disgusting hands I’ve ever seen!

  34. Old Man

    Texas Tranny – I understand how much you want me, but please quit sending me this obscene picture of yourself:

    By the way, it’s just my opinion, but I think you should have seen a doctor about this by now.

  35. Old Man

    @40 – Mg – Your mommy doesn’t like you using THAT word, and has a Bologna sandwhich waiting for you on the table.

  36. h

    never realized that Paris had such manly hands

  37. @41
    You didn’t complain last night while I was sucking your cock.
    Is it so hard to admit that you’re a gay faggot that likes little boys and likes cock up the ass? I know it must be hard to be so old and never came out of the closet and still living in Mommy’s basement, sniffing her dirty panties and her high heels.

  38. lambman

    I don’t think what Paris did was wrong…yeah I guess it should be up to the parents to say whether or not they are having a kid….but all she did was say that Christina looked good pregnant.

    not announcing publicly that you are pregnant and keeping it a secret are completely different anyways. If she wanted it to be a secret she should have “gone to stay with an aunt in europe for 9 months”

  39. lambman

    ps in pic 3 Christina looks like this Shirly Temple doll my grandma used to keep on a shelf….creppy, but kinda cute

  40. Jade

    That’s so rude

  41. Annie Rexia

    She sure has large hands and feet. I wonder how big her dick is.

  42. Superevil

    I’d like to make an annoucement as well:

    Paris Hilton Is A Fucking Cunt-Rag

    Thank You.

  43. Annie Rexia,
    I heard it is 8″ hard and circumcised.

    Tee Hee

  44. Old Man

    Texas Tranny – OOOOOHHHH, yer a feisty one!!! Maybe I can overlook your unsightly skin problem -

    PS – I have a pet pigeon that could help you with that anyway. Or maybe my mom will let you move into our basement, and we could raise those little buggers as our own. They’ll be pretty cute after you wean them off of your lovely manboobs. They already look like you my sweet!!!

  45. @50 TT, you better stop talking like that, you are just going to get yourself excited

  46. Old Man……….
    No, I already told your Mommy, that I don’t like fucking crack whores like her, they’re nasty and unclean. You need to help her wash that shit once in a while. As for your pigeon, squab is real good for breakfast. Fried squab and eggs, yummy.

  47. UglyPeopleSafaris

    Ugh.. I hope Christinas kid doesnt inherit her fugly eyebrows… or facial pubic landing strips as I like to call them.

  48. Old Man,
    I heard Chris and Dateline are in town, so you had best control your urges and lay low. If not they’ll catch you and send you off to jail to be someone’s little prison bitch. Oh wait, I fucking forgot; that IS what you want to happen. Just remember, in prison, you’ll be the one catching and not pitching, with no wrap-around either.

  49. Damn it………

    I meant………….reach-around

  50. SoHot

    Christina is so damn cute!!! I love the fact that she has stopped the ridiculous orange tan. This porcelain skin looks amazing with her blue eyes and blonde hair.

    Paris looks half asleep, as usual

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