Paris Hilton is a wizard! (Which explains the breasts)

November 4th, 2008 // 32 Comments

Paris Hilton set the cutlets to “Hello!” last night while making an appearance on David Letterman. And, I gotta tell you, I’m starting to love these Paris/Dave interviews. Mostly because he drops a ton of backhanded compliments, and she just giggles like a vapid mountain of dumb. But I did learn something, turns out 300,000 people auditioned for Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. That’s over a quarter of a million Americans who think hanging out with the human equivalent of a Port-A-John is the zenith of living.

Dear Terrorists,

You may be onto something.

Love,
The Superficial Writer

PART 1:

PART 2:

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. Stanky

    FRIST!

  2. kagrez

    I dunno. Since she lost weight (did she? I can’t ever tell, really) she’s started looking super old.

  3. AJ

    You know after she takes the pics she is going to rip off her ultra push up bra because it must be painful pushing little tits together.

  4. supersex

    damn, this ugly ass bitch again

    she should be traded to the A-rabs

  5. USA USA

    I voted for her today!

  6. USA USA

    I voted for her today!

  7. i lovee herr! she looks beautifull!

  8. Max Planck

    She should just get down on all fours and bark like a dog.

  9. Poor Paul Sorvino, he was so majestic in Good Fellas, now hes playing second fiddle to Paris Hilton..

  10. dork

    Hey, so that’s who stole my baby’s drapes.

    I’m callin’ the cops on that bitch.

  11. New BFF

    I loved her in Zoolander!!

  12. annie m

    Can we PLEASE show her the same consideration that Heidi and Spencer deserved and received? Soooo tired of this airhead …

  13. Amanda

    I think the reason why anyone I can think of would audition for that show would be to get on and then embarrass Paris as much as possible, or UPSTAGE her and then everyone will love her BFF and say WTF did we ever look at Paris to begin with?

  14. big merv

    I never have and never will get why anyone cares about this chick. it is amazing what a push-up bra and too tight dress can do for the cleavage. boobies… as american as… boobies

  15. lame

    Hate her, but that movie looks kick-ass.

  16. Christina

    She looks like a freaking praying mantis. Which means she will be biting the head off of that Good Charlotte douche any day now.

  17. hairy testicles

    too bad the show is shot in europe, so thats not over a quarter million americans…she probably couldnt get more than 50,000 in america, so she had to go to england…

  18. Sasha

    LOL, I can’t believe she came back on Letterman after being owned the last time. She must really be desperate.

  19. drewski2u

    How lame is the Letterman show getting that he has to fill up so much time with this worthless whore. And Dave is obviously losing his pull, otherwise there’s no way he’d be letting Puss Hilton on his show this often. It’s gotta be killing him. It’s pretty evident in his interview as well…. I’ve heard conversations between third graders that had more substance. So now that we have Paris out of the way, I guess we can look forward to the Hills’ dorks again. Wheeeeeee!

  20. susie

    She is so beautiful and charming. She is my favorite. Just saw her on the fitness & celebrity dating club ^^^^^^FitnessKiss. C O M^^ ^^^^last week. I am wondering what kind of relationship she is looking for on that

    site.Is she single now?

  21. stevostevo

    yes she is a wizard… she cam make cocks magically disappear into the back of her throat.

  22. Sarah Palin

    G0ds will must be done. Pray for that. Pray for our servicemen being sent to fight wars, they are being sent to do g0ds will. Pray for them as they do g0ds work.

    And most of all, pray that I am elected Vice President! Oh yea, pray that John McCain is elected President!

  23. Sharon

    God I hate that breastless-assless long nosed cunt.

  24. Sharon

    God I hate that breastless-assless long nosed cunt.

  25. I’m korean
    I DON’T like she

  26. I’m korean
    I DON’T like she

  27. I’m korean
    I DON’T like she

  28. SHE IS STILL ABLE OF BREATHING?
    damn, we’re out of luck today!!

  29. TheMrs

    Is that an engagement AND wedding ring she’s wearing????!!!????

  30. lovertigo

    i love this ! very cool dress and her body looks hard and hot … i just saw a few items at kira plastinina’s store in this color, i love it! think it’s the new color for 2009 … ; )

  31. el ces

    She looks pretty good.

  32. martina

    Once Dave finished with Hayden he probably didn’t have much left for Paris.

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