Paris Hilton is a serious musician

July 17th, 2007 // 86 Comments
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Paris Hilton is apparently working on a new album and tells E! Online:

“I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks.”

And apparently she’s taking it seriously. An insider says she’s been taking voice lessons and is determined to make her music career succeed. The insider says:

“She takes voice lessons several times a week. She’s really serious about her music career. Of all her projects, her music is the most important to her. She really works very hard to be taken seriously in the industry and make good music people will enjoy.”

On the list of world’s most unnecessary things, a new Paris Hilton album is right up there with parachute pants. Can you imagine what Paris’ voice lessons are like? It’s probably three minutes of singing, and then an hour and a half of the voice coach trying to break through the window to escape.

superficial

  1. Raj

    Thank God! I’ve been waiting for her second album for ages!

  2. Me

    First?

    Who cares about Paris, anyway?

  3. Raj

    Damn… did I say that with my outside voice?

  4. platitude

    LOL.

  5. Leah

    I think the world really should have better things to focus on for Pete’s sake ;)

  6. Stephanie

    It’s not that anyone really cares about Paris, we just want to know if someone that uses such a low percentage of their brain can kick it up a notch to equal a regular joe. I find it impressive that she is taking voice lessons.

  7. JM

    If by voice coach you mean guy who rams cock down her throat to clear out the syphilis buildup, then yeah, I believe she’s taking this seriously.

  8. samia

    hallo paris ilove you som match

  9. Courtney

    mm, I think Scott Storch is a much bigger waste of life than Andy Dick. Definitely a shoe-in for Biggest Douchebag in the Universe.

  10. wedgeone

    #7 – Agree wholeheartedly. Three minutes of singing, and then an hour and a half of the voice coach wearing out the Viagra that he took as well as the outer two layers of skin on his shaft.
    #8 – Samia = Paris in Dum-Dum-Land.

    Scott must be getting his with the voice coach as a threesome. Why would anyone waste time producing her 2nd album when the 1st one sold 50,000 copies, at most. She should be working on “how to look like your enjoying sex when making a porn”.

    Why can’t “American Idol” do a celebrity version, so that Simon Cowell could rip this bitch’s ego apart?

  11. lol perez hilton

  12. Hecubus

    Mozart, Beethoven, Hilton.

    Sinatra, Presley, Hilton.

    Hendrix, Prince, Hilton.

    Jameson, Lovelace, Hilton.

    Which one sounds like the best match ?

  13. Dizzybenny

    (looking for a bucket to puke)

  14. I don’t care about her music, but I’d love to receive a BJ from Miss Hilton.

  15. silverdollar

    i’m speechless. how is it even possible to be that oblivious?

  16. gossipmonger

    # 12, how about A.N.Smith, Benoit and Hilton… dead is detter than naked, when it comes to Parisite…

  17. lola

    I would like to find out who these 50,000 people were that bought her first CD so we can shoot them.

  18. Why would any person in the music industry seek to further prove that absolutely any random person can make a passable pop record, given the right production team and publicity? Hasn’t this industry been fighting this notion for years? What is next, just pulling a random hobo off the street?

  19. I’ll buy it. Hell, people laughed at me when I bought Don Johnson and Eddie Murphy albums in the 80′s, and Hanson in the 90′s.

    Why not?

  20. Danklin24

    “I’m already working on my new record. I’ve been in meetings with Scott [Storch] and we’ve been working on it. I’ve been working on it with Scott for a few weeks.”

    I wonder how many more different ways this twat can say the same fuckin’ thing.

  21. whoneedsenemies

    #18
    Isn’t that how American Idol works?

  22. MEL

    Is this Paris or that impersonator? It doesn’t look like Paris in the photos….looks like that Natalie Reid girl

  23. star69

    I can’t wait for her lifeless body to wash ashore after a surfing accident. Just can’t wait.

  24. BaldAsBritney

    Awesome, I’m sure she will tour extensively in support of this “album”. I mean she is such a gifted performer why deny us all the pleasure of hearing her sing live.

  25. LOL, Bern, I had exactly the same though.

  26. star69

    The tiny little house she’s renting in malibu is $53 Million a month. Word.
    You can go vacation for months in an exotic beach front somewhere awesome. But pay that money for Malibu? She’s fucking crazy.
    Sewage spills all the time. That’s Malibu. How do I know? I fuckin live here.
    :(

  27. adeliza

    So will the format be
    Contemporary Christian music, since she evidently has found the Lord?

  28. Christ on a Crotch

    You know, that is not even remotley inconceivable. Ya don’t need to even be able to project yer voice in order to lay some tracks.

    Maybe she’s laying someone with tracks in their vas deferens. Or maybe she’s just got to be lain on some tracks and let the 5:15 plow over her, ending my disgust for good.

    Well, that is until we see another picture of Tara Reid’s awful tummy.

    I’ve been playing guitar for years and I still suck. GIVE IT UP PARIS, and open a worthwhile company, like caviar shampoo or sumptin’!

  29. Christ on a Crotch

    Star69, are you EFFING serious? 53 million? No, you’re pulling my nose, right??? (begins to scratch own face off)

  30. Greasy bear was too good for her. THAT is a statement.

  31. lambman

    Does it make me a complete looser if I admit that I kinda think “Nothin in this World” has a fun beat, and an all around pleasant video to watch?

  32. Joshua

    LOL!

  33. Boogie

    Please, please, please, watch this

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=irk3_p15RJY

  34. BlohansDeviatedSeptum

    #31 No your not a loser, just gay.

  35. lapet

    I wonder if she could get throat cancer from too much spunk.

    No?

    Wishfull thinking, I geuss.

  36. Superevil

    Where’s a crazed homicidal stalker when you really need one?

  37. timmy

    I’m going to lay off Paris. As a youngster, I vowed to never poke fun at any person’s disability. After seeing her on Larry King, I’m convinced she has mild mental retardation…seriouly.

  38. wedgeone

    #28 – “Or maybe she’s just got to be lain on some tracks and let the 5:15 plow over her”
    LMFAO!

    #31 – No, it makes you a LOSER who just got fisted anally without lube for violating rule #69 of this site. No extra ‘o’ in forms of the word LOSE!

  39. janie

    That’s all we need is to have to hear her on the radio. Oh, but wait. I never, ever heard anything off the first one get ANY air-play AT ALL, so I guess we’re all safe.

  40. She’s been working with Scott Storch?
    She just got done with Larry Storch!

    Larry Storch!
    Harharhar… anybody?
    C’mon you love him… Imdb…
    dickery.

  41. mrs.t

    I’m fairly certain that ‘voice lessons’ with Scott Storch involve him giving her a nice throat massage followed by a soothing ‘balm’. Wonderful for the vocal chords.

  42. mocha9

    scott storch? tsk tsk…didn’t she listen to “give it to me” or talk to any of the artists who have boycotted working with him?

  43. Still got it?

    I have to admit, the “90 minutes of the coach trying to break the window and escape” line tickled me. The writing has been weaker of late, but that was sweet…

  44. schack

    she’s such an heirhead.

  45. she’ll still sell a shitload of records, which kinda sucks

    no different than the last two-three decades of famous females getting manufactured albums and singing careers

  46. woodhorse

    My level of disdain for Wonky Valtrex has been lessened by the behavior of Andy Dick. He has proven that Paris has not stooped nearly as low as he has in order to be famous.

    Paris = plastic flowers on the lawn.
    Andy Dick = pond scum in the city sewer.

  47. christina

    …i thought she was gonna stop pretending to be dumb

  48. star69

    #29 LOL!!!
    So sorry, I meant to write she was renting the place for $53.000 a month, not for millions of $s. Was kinda recovering from a late nite when I wrote that.
    Although 53 Mil is prolly chumchange for that hobag.

  49. star69

    #47 can a tiger hide its spots? ;) I’m just hoping a sucide bomber will give her a hug and push the button.

  50. Caminador

    #18,21 – Actually, they’ve already passed that stage in the music biz. His name is/was Wesley Willis and he was a crackhead that made songs over toy keyboard beats. Known for hits such as “Fuck a Kangaroo in the Ass” and “I Smoke Crack,” Willis at least provided unprocessed vocals. Voice lessons? Unnecessary. She can’t sing. It’ll be a computer.

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