Paris Hilton is a master of disguise

June 29th, 2007 // 274 Comments
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Paris Hilton flew to Hawaii after her Larry King interview and arrived in Maui yesterday wearing a straw hat, sunglasses, and a black wig. I’m assuming this is part of her campaign to reinvent herself as Smart Paris. Except everything she knows she learned from elementary school jokes, so she doesn’t quite realize it takes more than changing your hair color to be taken seriously. She’ll always be Paris Hilton. She could win the Nobel Prize in physics and every time you ran into her on the street you’d still feel the uncontrollable need to pee on her.

Photos: Splash

  1. Ruby

    FRICK!!!

  2. sarah

    first

  3. Rich

    Paris likes pee

  4. Ruby

    FROST? You know what I mean…

    What is this bitch up to now??

  5. Poop

    Fish, you already posted yesterday that Paris was in Hawaii with a wig. WTF? Your brain fart really stinks.

  6. Kelly K

    hey, at least we aren’t seeing her hoo haw or non boobies. Theres something to be thankful for. And did you ever in you wildest dreams think you’d see Paris in a straw hat?

    That is all.

  7. Honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah!

    My scarecrow called. He wants his hat back.

    Dah-dum-dum ting!

  8. paeton

    her fake hair looks so much better than britneys fake hair…

  9. LS

    You know what I love about Paris? She spends her entire stay in jail talking about how she is a changed woman and then when Larry King asks her what she would change about herself she says she doesn’t like how high her voice gets when she’s upset. You moron, that’s NOT what he meant!

  10. Jimbo

    I would have never know it was her. Wow, she could have walked right by me and I would have just thought it was a dumb tramp with a big nose and no tits

  11. allie

    yeah that was sad.
    larry- what dont you like about your personality?
    paris- well my voice goes really high when im mad

  12. LM

    I didn’t know Paris Hilton was Mexican!

  13. Binky

    Looks like the pick-pockets go for phones in Maui.
    Is ‘Make the rich pay’ a hula tune ?

  14. Binky

    ” Missing phone. Beige purse.
    Get us to the scene of the grime Danno ‘

  15. BaldAsBritney

    I can only imagine how many paps are going to be all over her to get that cruicial joint smoking pic after all that “I’ve never done drugs” bullshit.

  16. Trixie

    What? No bible under her arm?
    See, she hasnt changed a bit..she’s in hawaii to get “laid”!

  17. ali

    i think she didnt want people to see that she was ALREADY partying. but if i was that broad id be on the beach too.

  18. Superfish

    It’s not an uncontrollable need, it’s a requirement. I’m surprised she even has so-called “fans” because she’s so dumb. And that black wig and straw hat doesn’t do her justice because she’s still a really dumb blonde. always has been, always will be…

    **pisses on Paris Hilton for the umpteenth time

  19. What the FUCK!

    If i was her i be in disguse to….to get away from these assholes out in the world!
    PAris, is Paris…like you are like yourself! LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!

  20. I PISSED ON PARIS AND IT WAS GOOOOD

    God How i would KILL for Paris and Anna Nicole SMith to switch places. I mean, she’s been oxerexposed, jailed, sex taped multiple times, high, drunk and on my last FUCKING nerve. Either she goes…or i just murder her…

  21. Shinanigans

    Paris Hilton who wants to now spend her time and money changing the world and becomming a philanthropist, is spending a month in Maui and renting a mansion to vacation for the summer. The world IS a better place!

  22. Superfish

    #20 problems? issues?

    …drugs?

  23. Morticia

    I can see she is getting busy with her humanitarian work, flying to Hawaii and all. Stupid bitch. As if she’ll ever change.

  24. eaglepupil

    I want to be just like Brittany and Paris! Where is my brunette dye hair color and tacky hair accessory?

  25. Shinanigans

    #19 aka goparis?

  26. wedgeone

    #3 – No, her former BFF Kim Kardashian likes pee. Fish was a bit confused.

    Way to show everyone that you are a different person, PH! Work in a soup kitchen? No. Fund the building of a homeless shelter? No. Fly to Maui on a vacation after your 23 days of inconvenience? Yep!

    That hair looks like she got it at Costume Holiday House! 5 years ago!!

  27. ali

    im usually not mean but….if youre trying to make a point dont say something like ‘PAris, is Paris…like you are like yourself! LIVE YOUR FUCKING LIFE!’.

    ‘what the fuck!’ is right.

  28. goparis

    “you’d still feel the uncontrollable need to pee on her”…

    I have the same feeling every time I wisit this web site of yours, asshole.

  29. GinnyPotter

    #25, you read my mind! haha

  30. ali

    by the way #27 was directed to #19.

  31. @23 Paris does humanitarian work in Hawaii? Where’s her bible? Is she a missionary teaching Jesus to the natives?

    We’re going to take your land.
    We’ll make you sleep in the sand.
    We’ll build Hiltons on every inch of rock.
    And give you guys the chicken pocks!

  32. What the hell is she doing mixing white and off white?

    That’s one hell of a disguise.

  33. YouRang

    #28 Feel free to fuck off whenever.

  34. $5000.00 birken bag

    Why do these mental midgets pay 5 grand and up for a frikkin’ bag only to carry their phones around in their sweaty hands?

  35. Shinanigans

    #28 you hate this site? stop visiting it

  36. Shinanigans

    actually I lied, keep visiting it, your posts crack me up

  37. Honestly, just look at her. All she needs is a pair of high heels 10 sizes too big for her and she would look exactly like a four year old trying to play grown up. She has the mind of a child.

  38. GinnyPotter

    goparis’ is an idiot, but I agree with #36 it most amusing to read the rants…

  39. Shinanigans

    I feel like the bully in the playground picking on goparis for defending his friend, except that I know that they arent friends, nor would I care

  40. Lobo

    Paris wants to change the world because she read here that Britney is changing the world.
    She can only change one tiny piece at a time though, ’cause of her A.D.D. thing.

  41. AW!

    So much for her charity work! All she’s done is her hair, makeup, publicity, vacation and shopping. What a waste of oxygen.

  42. Mia

    Oh come on! Paris has changed the world! She showed us how stupid and useless a human being can be.

  43. gay4girls

    Actually, I’m getting ready for my inevitable backlash backlash. Paris should be an inspiration to all of us. Why can’t we admire a talentless, lazy, self-indulgent, mannish drag queen wannabe without anything resembling a personality who can’t even convincingly play the role of herself in an interview will herself to fame using nothing more than an unremarkable exhibitionist streak and the inexhaustible resources of her family fortune? Why? Go, goparis!

  44. goparis

    #35, #38 you people are so lame that even when you cry people around you think you are farting and want to smack you around.

  45. gay4girls

    Wow, that was so not a sentence. Kudos, gayfor!

  46. wiinja

    goparis fucks carebears

  47. Jimbo

    Even though she is such a tramp, She is stunning, I must say. Very beautiful.

  48. havoc

    That disguise is so good. I’m not sure that is Paris Hilton.

    LMAO…

  49. Jimbo

    hey havoc, go to hell. if you don’t like Paris, get off this site.

  50. yophat

    @gay4girls, get back to work, fucker.

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