Paris Hilton is a master of disguise

September 28th, 2006 // 80 Comments

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Comments (80)

  1. c | September 28, 2006 at 2:17 pm

    oh that paris – so clever and crafty!

    http://popanalysis.blogspot.com

    Reply
  2. Tracie | September 28, 2006 at 2:18 pm

    Unfortunately for Paris, nose job or not, you can recognize her beak from a mile away.
    I am so sick of all of these wenches!
    TCLTC anyone?

    Reply
  3. theblemish.com | September 28, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    It looks like she murdered a gay leopard for those.

    http://theblemish.com

    Reply
  4. Angry Ferret Jones | September 28, 2006 at 2:20 pm

    Holy Shit, what a fucking Green Beret Ninja!

    WOW!!!!

    Reply
  5. Jenna | September 28, 2006 at 2:23 pm

    C’mon, she’s already said she’s, like, not that smart! And when you’re knot that smart, that seems like a great disguise. Dumb bitch.

    BTW, who is this Kim chick? She seems to go everywhere with Paris now.

    Reply
  6. Jenna | September 28, 2006 at 2:34 pm

    *not

    I would also like to add that the red light district seems like a good place for Paris.

    Reply
  7. LilRach | September 28, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    The disguise is no use Paris – the paparazzi can smell your skanky arse from a mile away.

    Fuck travis’ ex must so badly want to kick her arse. I’d love to see that – catfight on!

    Reply
  8. slantingthroughdarkness | September 28, 2006 at 2:41 pm

    Dear Paris,

    Just thought I’d say hi. Haven’t talked to you in a long time. Well, see you around.

    Signed, Reality.

    http://crabbieshollywood.blogspot.com

    Reply
  9. enfilade | September 28, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    She should disguise herself as a person who is actually interesting.

    http://www.sidekickwallpaper.com/

    Reply
  10. Adult Underoos | September 28, 2006 at 2:44 pm

    man, i wish i was rich and famous for no reason at all

    pop art underwear –> http://www.funderpants.com

    Reply
  11. Tracie | September 28, 2006 at 2:48 pm

    Jenna,
    Kim Kardasian is a fixture on the young Hollywood scene. AKA: Known For Doing Nothing! Her older sister Kourtney starred in the E! network 2005 reality series “Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive.”
    Kim was apparently a former semen receptacle for Nick Lachey.
    She’s also the daughter of late O.J. Simpson pal and lawyer Robert Kardashian (who, after helping O.J. get off*, died of esophageal cancer in 2003.) Instant Karma baby. It’s also happened to Johnnie Cochran, but when is O. J. going to get his?
    *Remember when Simpson returned from Chicago after he murdered Nicole, Kardashian met him at the airport and handled his luggage, some of which disappeared?

    Reply
  12. Bioplant | September 28, 2006 at 2:59 pm

    She’s hot. They’re hot. That’s hot.

    Seriously.

    Reply
  13. PunjabPete | September 28, 2006 at 3:01 pm

    That Kim chick is a babe… Terrible taste in friends though… Says a lot about her.

    #11 – Karma for sure. I danced on Cockrings grave. That bastard is burning in the hottest pit of hell…

    Reply
  14. Glossed Over | September 28, 2006 at 3:05 pm

    No one would care so much who she’s dating if she didn’t try so hard to hide it. After all, the attempts to disguise herself are more interesting than her love life.

    http://glossedover.com

    Reply
  15. RichPort | September 28, 2006 at 3:10 pm

    I’d hit that… with my fucking Acura. Her chest looks like Posh’s ass.

    Reply
  16. radio3play | September 28, 2006 at 3:26 pm

    in the red light district…dressed like a hooker. maybe she isn’t that stupid

    Reply
  17. Grobpilot | September 28, 2006 at 3:27 pm

    She’s in Amsterdam to take her place among the other working girls in the sidewalk fuck rooms. I think she’ll forget to pull the shades before gobbling down.

    Reply
  18. buckythakid | September 28, 2006 at 3:31 pm

    kim is way hotter and probably less AIDSy

    Reply
  19. sid | September 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    Hey

    Reply
  20. Dory | September 28, 2006 at 3:40 pm

    YAWN

    Reply
  21. CelebSlam.com | September 28, 2006 at 3:48 pm

    A sneaky bitch, that Paris Hilton

    http://www.celebslam.com

    Reply
  22. combustion8 | September 28, 2006 at 3:49 pm

    That hint of cleavage makes my penis unhappy.

    Reply
  23. overnightlow | September 28, 2006 at 4:07 pm

    That Travis sure does have great taste in women. *barf*
    Seriously though, the man has CHILDREN and he is hanging with little miss walking petri-dish o’disease??? Someone call DCS quick!

    Reply
  24. Amsterdammit! | September 28, 2006 at 4:22 pm

    First!
    (Actually not kidding, since it’s my first post here, ever)

    Anyway, not that any of you give a Paris’ herpes, but both the Mansion and the Absinthe club are actually not situated in the Red Light District.
    Although there are a couple of ‘windows’ or ‘sidewalk fuck rooms’ (nice one) near Absinthe, the Mansion is a trying-to-be-hip club just around the corner from the poshest street in Amsterdam.

    But then again, fuck it.. to foreigners the whole city is a red light district, Amsterdam isn’t even a city but an entire country, every inhabitant is chronic-ally stoned and TCLTC.. To the latter of which i must say i concur.

    Reply
  25. fearsarewishes | September 28, 2006 at 4:25 pm

    Say whatever you like about PH, but she does get around. Amsterdam is the greatest party city on this planet.

    Reply
  26. Anonymous | September 28, 2006 at 4:29 pm

    God, she’s so fucking stupid. Even if she were to wear a full-on Big Bird costume that hides her beak and everything, all the papparazi has to do is follow the trail of herpes. It’s kind of like that fairy tale (NOT!!)where someone leaves a trail of breadcrumbs…or is it cookie crumbs? I forget. I can’t even remember which fairy tale. Is it Hansel and Gretel? Darn, I can’t even remember who the hell it is who left the crumbs. Was it Hansel and Gretel or was it the witch?

    Reply
  27. BigJim | September 28, 2006 at 4:57 pm

    She’d tried to hide, but the herpes found their way home anyway.

    Reply
  28. BigJim | September 28, 2006 at 4:59 pm

    Uh, #19, you might be happier hanging out where someone gives a flying fuck about what you say.

    No one at the ‘fish gives a flying fuckistan about political commentary. We only want to hear about who is fucking who and what kind of nasty diseases they’re spreading.

    Go back to slate.com you sacksucking cockmaster.

    Reply
  29. biatcho | September 28, 2006 at 5:01 pm

    #19 – THAT’S the short version? What up verbal diahrea.

    PS: How the fuck do you spell diahrea? It just doesn’t look right.

    Reply
  30. biatcho | September 28, 2006 at 5:03 pm

    fearsarewishes – you annoyed me the other day. Just thought I’d let you know… now go back to listening to The Cure & finish that term paper.

    Reply
  31. Nancy Toby | September 28, 2006 at 5:09 pm

    One word:
    PEDOPHILE.

    Reply
  32. PunjabPete | September 28, 2006 at 5:32 pm

    #19 – You must be a blast to watch TV with on a Tuesday… Holy black helicopters, Batman…. Trim that goatee and lay off the goddamn espresso…

    #29 – Diarrhea… And I concur…

    Reply
  33. fearsarewishes | September 28, 2006 at 5:57 pm

    I am quite pleased to know that I have annoyed you. You are too easy.

    Thanks for playing.

    Reply
  34. RichPort | September 28, 2006 at 6:24 pm

    #19 – While I agree with your thesis, you can’t throw blood in a shark tank… it’s just asking for trouble.

    Reply
  35. Brain Embolism | September 28, 2006 at 6:31 pm

    #4 Mr Ferret- Didn’t you mean, “Holy Shit, what a fucking Green Beret “COCK” Ninja!”

    Even in absentia… cock-ninja must be remembered.

    Reply
  36. InstantAsshat-AddFame | September 28, 2006 at 6:32 pm

    Sid, you made sense, but it really doesn’t matter. I read HuffPo and other political blogs everyday. I come to the Superficial because it’s just that–totally superficial shit. That’s why it’s fun. Just because I’m superficial for 10 minutes a day doesn’t mean I’m not pissed off about the state of the world the rest of the day. And besides, KNOWING we’ll be Fuckistan someday doesn’t make me any more able to stop it than if I didn’t know, because I’m already there. So let me make fun of Paris’s D&D’s, K?

    Reply
  37. trailercamptramp | September 28, 2006 at 6:34 pm

    dear biatcho,
    i know ppl are fcking stupid but please dont degrade the cure by putting them in the same basket… .. thank you

    Reply
  38. PrincessMuMu | September 28, 2006 at 8:23 pm

    She looks like a $2 whore in that dress. WHY is Travis still seeing that fucktard?

    Reply
  39. PrincessMuMu | September 28, 2006 at 8:34 pm

    P.S. What’s a petri dish?

    Reply
  40. HolisticWisdomcom | September 28, 2006 at 8:59 pm

    I think she forgot to get dressed and her rope is popping open. That is what happens when you are in a hurry to get to one meaningless party after another. Work, work, work.

    http://www.holisticwisdom.com

    Reply
  41. sid | September 28, 2006 at 9:02 pm

    20, 28, 29, 32:

    Christ, guys, it’s not like I do that all the time. I know this website is for fun. Whenever somebody talks about Scarlett’s tits, I mention how much I loved Thora Birch’s BIGGER tits. I’m here for a good time, too.

    Sometimes some of you put a few jokes in per story, and post in all of them. I post a few, and the last long thing I did was an answer to Janet Jackson demanding Fijian water, in which I wrote a story and imagined shoving 2L bottles of Jolt cola up her poonaner. No politics there!

    So you got nothing to complain about. If I were taking long tracts from other places and reposting them here, that would blow. And, I too enjoy ripping on Paris and the rest. It’s just that every now and then, it’s good for somebody to point out what’s really going on.

    Is that so fucking wrong? Why do you get so angry over it?

    Your answers, which have no reason to be angry, with all the cliches of goatees and shit only show what a bunch of dicks YOU really are. I guess you tards not only hate Paris, but you hate people who hate her and wish she would fucking disappear, unlike you guys, who are really only looking for better idiots to follow.

    Now, I’ll get back to playing with my beard and the espresso, and I’ll let you get back to jerking off and eating corn chips….IS THAT CLICH

    Reply
  42. sid | September 28, 2006 at 9:07 pm

    BTW, Travis Barker isn’t looking down to avoid the cameras. He’s noticing the growing sores on his penis.

    Reply
  43. HollyJ | September 28, 2006 at 9:16 pm

    I SWEAR that’s a man in drag. Look at its sternum! MAN CHEST! WTF is she wearing btw?? I thought everyone agreed to leave the 80s behind forever…didn’t we? She looks like a walk-on on Falcon Crest

    Reply
  44. Steeno | September 28, 2006 at 9:25 pm

    @19, sid,

    nice discourse, er, conspiracy theory.

    replace the emotional appeals with facts, make sure the statements logically flow, and you’ll have a valid argument.

    like nick naylor said in ‘thank you for smoking,’ “as long as you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.”

    Reply
  45. Angry Ferret Jones | September 28, 2006 at 9:45 pm

    Steeno – nothing sexier than a lady that can use movie quotes to get her point across.

    Reply
  46. Angry Ferret Jones | September 28, 2006 at 9:47 pm

    Brain – Where’s the ninja been?

    Reply
  47. Steeno | September 28, 2006 at 10:02 pm

    thanks afj, my sweet.

    it’s a damn good quote. won many an argument with that nugget.

    Reply
  48. overnightlow | September 28, 2006 at 10:31 pm

    #39 here you go. Basically a dish used to culture fungus, bacteria and other nasties.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Petri_dish

    Reply
  49. Grope For Luna | September 28, 2006 at 10:36 pm

    Kim Kardshian is the hottest piece of ass in LA. Oooga!

    http://img80.imageshack.us/img80/1011/kimkardashian2ca5.jpg

    Reply
  50. poker_n_d_rear | September 29, 2006 at 12:29 am

    i guess her sister i going to have to shave her head in order not to look like her retarded sibling

    Reply
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