Paris Hilton in ‘The Unfortunate Angle’

April 29th, 2009 // 87 Comments

Maybe I was up too late writing captions, but did it take anyone else a minute to realize that’s Paris’ purse strap and not a gigantic penis? I don’t know what that says about me as a person, but consider this a revelatory look at my immediate perception of Paris Hilton. In the meantime, I’m going to get some coffee before I mistake Lindsay Lohan for a walking clitoris.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. His Huge Greatness Himself

    Pic 2 is showing her moans of pleasure while she strangles her purse strap.

  2. Rhialto

    I’m wondering which of her former boyfriends that purse strap was.

  3. Lisa

    Like you’d be able to recognize a clit if you saw one…

  4. Joe

    Looking at how obvious it is now, I can’t believe it took me a while to realize it wasn’t a “gigantic penis”!

  5. Aw. A fuzzy dildo. Dual functioning. Keeps your pussy warm during use.

  6. John

    Deborah Perez, the daughter of the Zodiac Killer, is an fucking hot MILF! Damn it!

  7. #2 – That, p0nk, are just the shreds of her remaining dignity… and I think you’re pretty fucking funny.

  8. OMG!

    Is she trying to be Nicole Richie or something? So Pathetic!

  9. filoderba

    love you!!! that’s the best photo ever.

  10. Of course it’s a purse. Only a complete moron would not see what it is.
    Paris is actually looking darn good these days. No matter what some losers write.

  11. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    FOR ALL OF THE IMPORTANT FACTS AND DETAILS, GO TO PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 33

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  12. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS GOING TO PRISON FOR NUMEROUS FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED.

    THESE FEDERAL CRIMES INCLUDE CRIMES COMMITTED AGAINST BRITNEY SPEARS DURING THE MONTHS OF NOVEMBER 2007, DECEMBER 2008, AND JANUARY 2009.

    FOR ALL OF THE FACTS AND IMPORTANT DETAILS, GO TO PARIS HILTON ASKMEN.COM.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS

    AGE: 33

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  13. Hello, your blog great, refueling

  14. what’s in her hand? :D what is she doing with it?

  15. Hello, your blog great, refueling

  16. I wouldn’t even notice that if you didn’t say it. I was admiring Paris – I love the dress, the sunglasses and her hairdo. She looks perfect.

  17. the sunglasses and her hairdo. She looks perfect.

  18. I love that this is the only picture I’ve ever seen that appears to be a candid taken behind the scenes perhaps even without their knowledge…and they could not seem less interested in one another. LOL. So perfect.

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  27. BRANDON M. WITTE

    PARIS HILTON IS EVADING FEDERAL PROSECUTION FOR FEDERAL CRIMES COMMITTED. SHE KIDNAPPED ME ON MAY 16, 2010 FOR A PERIOD OF 4 DAYS, RELEASING ME LATE EVENING OF MAY 20, 2010. SHE FORCED ME TO DRINK 50 GALLONS OF SPRITE BRAND SODA POP. WHEN I INFORMED HER THAT SO MUCH LIQUID AND SUGAR IN SUCH A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME COULD BE HARMFUL TO ME, SHE THEN ALSO GAVE ME A CONTINUAL ENEMA OF SPRITE BRAND SODA POP VIA A SECOND 50 GALLON DRUM. I AM NOW WHAT IS KNOWN AS AN “ANAL DIABETIC” DUE TO THE APPLICATION OF SO MUCH SUGAR UP THAT PART OF MY ANATOMY. THIS HAS ALSO GIVEN ME A WADDLE, ALTHOUGH I’M FORCED TO ADMIT THE WADDLE IN A WAY I FIND QUITE MANLY. STILL, WHAT IF I DIDN’T ENJOY WADDLING? SHE NEVER CONSIDERED SUCH A THING.

    SINCERELY, BRANDON M. (MATTHEW) WITTE

    ARLINGTON, TEXAS
    AGE: 34

    MY HOME ADDRESS: 3800 CURT DR. , ARLINGTON, TEXAS 76016

    MY SOCIAL SECURITY # : 454-95-8625

    MY TEXAS STATE DRIVERS LICENSE #: 15260143

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