Paris Hilton in ‘The Unfortunate Angle’

April 29th, 2009 // 87 Comments

Maybe I was up too late writing captions, but did it take anyone else a minute to realize that’s Paris’ purse strap and not a gigantic penis? I don’t know what that says about me as a person, but consider this a revelatory look at my immediate perception of Paris Hilton. In the meantime, I’m going to get some coffee before I mistake Lindsay Lohan for a walking clitoris.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Mic


  2. p0nk

    what’s with the scotch-tape magic herpes shield on her right arm?

  3. JC

    I had to do a double take there. lol

  4. mikeock

    That’s my new desktop picture. Classic!


    @2 – it’s a shopping bag. And you’re not remotely funny. As usual.

  6. Angus

    It takes some of the fun out of it, but I can understand why some chicks want to wear protective eyeglasses when stroking a cock toward their face.

  7. Erica


  8. The Listener

    Wow, for a couple of seconds I thought she was holding a giant dildo, too. LOL Shame on me. Hee, hee, hee

  9. Ugh there’s firstarded here also? Geekologie has plenty of that. I’ve checked comments here before & was hopeful to not see dorks like @1 but alas there you are.

    The Paris pics are great, too damn funny.

  10. Alison

    Love it

  11. LMAO
    She’s so rich she had Tommy Lee’s turgid member turned into a purse strap. Next she’ll have saMANtha ronson’s scrotum fashioned into a very small, smelly handbag.

  12. Sass

    hahaha it looks furry too

  13. Lady

    ALL angles of Paris are unfortunate!

  14. moka

    she knows what it looks like and she practiced the pose at home.
    of course!

  15. Danklin24

    That purse strap looks like know the kind with asbestos and fiberglass. Ahhhh breathe deep Paris, breathe deep.

  16. p0nk

    @5 i’m so sorry that i can’t be as funny as you. i try. really i do.

  17. NipTuck

    @13 hahaha yeah!!!

    Honestly thought it was nicole r.

    then i had to put my glasses on

  18. Beans Baxter

    She does seem to have a natural talent to handling fleshy looking appendages.

  19. @5 pOnk’s funny. You just have to catch him when he’s not menstruating.

  20. ToTellTheTruth

    Her nasty white ass will suck it off anyways…it’s what she does. Bitch.

  21. HeyLadies

    Looks like a regular size penis to me

  22. Did anyone hear when they asked Paris Hilton if she had heard about the swine flu and what she thought about it. She said I don’t eat that. Please let a hole suck her up to hell.

  23. Did anyone hear when they asked Paris Hilton if she had heard about the swine flu and what she thought about it. She said I don’t eat that. Please let a hole suck her up to hell.

  24. Galtacticus

    I haven’t seen yet anybody as happy as her with a new purse.I won’t be surprised she’d take it to bed as well.A kid’s hand is easily filled.

  25. Gando

    Not to me but the purse looks very comfortable to carry.Her upperlip is nicely waxed.

  26. Rhialto

    Pic two is a great classic mouthshot ! It’s some what a retro looking pic.Also the way she holds the strap is from that time.She only has to stretch out her finger to make the peace sign.

  27. Kim (not Kardashian)

    #9, they are everywhere! and most times they aren’t even really first, then they really look like douchebags!

  28. Joejam2845

    That picture will live on in Infamy!

  29. More Please

    I want more Britney…and tits…and Paris sucking dick.

    No, wait a minute. Nevermind.

    Just Britney and tits, please.

  30. Noah Lieske

    Paris looks great as always. Noah Lieske

  31. <3j

    Ohhh, Superficial, you aren’t the only one to make that mistake! Haha. Regardless of her weird penis-looking purse strap, her hair looks great!

  32. meee

    #25…who the fuck says stuff like that?!

  33. Marketta

    Why is Martha Stewart holding a dildo ?

  34. Jamie's Uterus

    If it were a huge dick, it would be in her mouth in the pictures. This girl just can resist dick!

  35. Negotiator

    I hope this dirty slut gets swine flue up her spag and dies.

    The sooner the better because no one would shed a tear for her. Slut

  36. bmose

    Thats H-U-U-U-U-G-G-G-G-H-H-H!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  37. roar

    isn’t this nicole richie??? weird….

  38. jmkul

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL LMFAOOOOO!!!! i am so f****d up right now and this is great

  39. what

    Look at that f*cking moron! Can the sunglasses get any larger douche???

  40. HA! burrito dildo –

    she’s practicing in public now, w/o any strange green sex tape light

  41. Ananana

    “Maybe I was up too late writing captions”

    we forgive you cause we love you.

    and this GLORIOUS photo of paris hilton… i mean… if i were paris hilton, i would certainly watch how i accessorize so i wouldn’t make myself more of a target than i already am. but whatever.

    paris hilton, thank you for existing only to being laughed at.

  42. lovely
    i lose my job,but i find a good place to earn money online a usefull online shopping

  43. balls

    She loves the cock.

  44. Nic h

    it looks like a giant tampon

  45. I didn’t really notice it on the big one but the small thumbnails underneath almost made me shit myself.

  46. Venom

    OMG I am dying laughing at this photo.

  47. Aesthetically speaking all her all angles are unfortunate.
    Maybe we can have her locked up for publicly fellating a purse strap.

  48. Galtacticus


  49. Darth


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